


Hold my heart

by Mi_chan



Series: Kashmir Verse [3]
Category: Led Zeppelin
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, BDSM, Bloodplay, Bondage, Breathplay, Cardiophilia, Cigarettes, Cock Bondage, Cock Rings, Cock Worship, Coffee, Consensual Kink, Dirty Talk, Dom!Robert, Drug Use, Edging, Electricity, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, Emotions, Erotic Electrostimulation, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Feelings, Feels, Heartbeat Kink, Heartbeats, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Jimmy uses Robert, Jimmy/Robert, Knifeplay, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Light Masochism, Light Sadism, Living Sex Toy, Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay, PVCs, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Sexual Content, Smoking, Sounding, St. Andrew's Cross, Sub!jimmy, Subspace, Switching, Talking, Urethral Play, Verbal Humiliation, Vulnerability, Whipping, both. They switch!, dom!Jimmy, erotic humiliation, heart rate monitor, jimbert - Freeform, skipping hearts, sub!Robert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-07-10 04:00:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 58,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15941351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mi_chan/pseuds/Mi_chan
Summary: Jimmy decides to introduce Robert to another one of his kinks, cardiophilia aka heartbeat kink. Robert is hooked immediately and wants to delve deeper into it.Goes with Kashmir, but can be read as a stand alone if you like! This was meant to be PWP, but somehow, somewhere along the way it developed a plot. Jimmy has some issues with his own desires and kinks, while Robert just wants to try everything and discover new kinks to play with.





	1. A new kink

**Author's Note:**

> So, originally I wanted to put this into the story 'Kashmir', but then I thought, maybe I should post it as another story, so people who aren't into this kinda thing can still read the whole story and avoid this if they like! So here it is, this is going to be several chapters of cardiophile porn (with feelings) with our two cutiepies. 
> 
> Personally, I'm not into the medical side of this, nor am I into dark cardiophilia (wanting to rip people's hearts out or stop them and stuff), and while I don't judge anyone for being into that, it's not going to be part of this story. It's mostly going to be quite vanilla and fluffy. :) 
> 
> I was a little hesitant about posting this, but seeing the amount of cardiophilia already on the archive, I was encouraged to add my own. :) Enjoy!

Robert was happy. They just finished recording their second album and now, they had some time off before their next tour. It wasn’t much, but Robert was grateful for every minute and he intended to make the most of it. 

They decided to spend their time off in Pangbourne, at Jimmy’s place. The press was told they had to finish some songs in Jimmy’s home studio, so Robert was going to stay with him for a few days, just so nobody would suspect anything. The fact that there was no home studio, Jimmy barely possessed any recording equipment, was left out on purpose. 

It wasn’t a complete lie, though, they did sometimes make music. They often sat in front of the fireplace, Jimmy with a guitar or some other instrument, just playing whatever came to his mind, and Robert sang along. Sometimes, Robert would pick up a guitar as well, playing along a little. Jimmy taught him a few tricks here and there. These were some of Robert’s favorite moments. 

Tonight, though, he was sitting on Jimmy’s bed, propped up against some pillows against the headboard, the brunette in his lap, lazily kissing him. They were both naked, their clothes having been dropped on the way to the bedroom, littering the hallway.

Robert couldn’t have been happier than he was in this moment, tangling his hands in the thick, black hair, tugging at it ever so slightly from time to time, to make Jimmy sharply nip at his lower lip in warning. This was his favorite position, too, Jimmy in his lap, just like the very first night they spent together. The brunette seemed to favor it as well, always opting for it whenever he could. 

“I want to try something new tonight.” Jimmy whispered against his lips at some point, they had been making out lazily for some time now. Robert looked up at him and nodded. It was almost ridiculous how excited he got when the brunette said that, a thrill going through his body. 

“You know I’m always up to try new stuff.” He said, biting his lip in anticipation. Until now, he’d always enjoyed whatever Jimmy came up with. Not once had the other man suggested something he didn’t want to do, everything had felt amazing every single time. They had only been dating for roughly two weeks, so the whole thing was still very new and exciting.

Jimmy just smiled at him softly and reached over to open one of the drawers of his bedside table. Robert followed his movements with his eyes, watching him pull something out of the drawer. He bit his lip again, harder this time, as he saw a stethoscope in Jimmy’s hand. 

He knew that his lover had noticed just how much it turned him on to be vulnerable and at his mercy. What better way to make him feel as vulnerable as possible than this? Robert felt another rush of excitement through his veins. Of course he in turn had noticed that Jimmy always liked to kiss his neck, his lips would always linger there, at the pulse point, feeling the fluttering against his lips or his tongue. 

He also remembered when he had been tied up and blindfolded and Jimmy had rested his hand on his chest, feeling his heart pounding in excitement. He recalled how much more vulnerable that had made him feel and how much it had turned him on. Jimmy must have liked feeling it, too.

He watched, completely mesmerized, as Jimmy wrapped his hand around the metal chestpiece, warming it a little. He then put the eartips into his ears and Robert swallowed nervously. His heart had sped up considerably when he first watched Jimmy pull the stethoscope out of the drawer and now it was beating so hard in his chest, that his breath came out a little shaky with the force of it. 

He still jumped a little when Jimmy placed the bigger side of the chestpiece on him, despite having warmed it, it was still a little cool. He’d placed it almost in the center of his chest, ever so slightly to the left, higher up than Robert would have expected. He felt his face heat up as he blushed and he could feel his heart slamming rapidly against the piece of metal on his chest. 

He looked up at Jimmy and saw a smile spreading on the other’s face as he listened.

“Breathe, Robert.” Jimmy said softly and it occurred to the blonde that he had indeed been holding his breath since the brunette placed the chestpiece on him. He drew in another shaky breath, watching Jimmy’s face intently. The guitarist was looking back at him with an unreadable expression on his pretty face, but his eyes were dark with lust. 

He moved the chestpiece slightly lower, then raised his other hand to gently press the tips of his index and middle finger on Robert’s chest, right next to his sternum, in the space between two of his ribs. The singer gasped slightly as he felt his heart beat hard against the other man’s fingertips. He was so hard by now he was almost aching and a quick glance told him that Jimmy felt exactly the same. 

He loved the way he felt his heart pound against Jimmy’s fingertips, he loved how he could do absolutely nothing to hide his excitement.

“What does it sound like?” He asked after a while and Jimmy smiled, taking out the eartips and offering them to him, keeping the chestpiece firmly in place with his right hand. Robert took the offered stethoscope and popped the earpieces in. It was loud. He listened to his own heart for a moment, awed by how clear the sound was, he could even hear the blood rush in, or out, maybe both, he wasn’t quite sure. It beat just a little faster every time he took a breath, but otherwise steadily despite how fast it was racing. 

“Can I... can I hear yours?” He asked after a while and Jimmy hesitated. Of course, Robert knew that he hated being vulnerable. He was always careful to hide his emotions as much as possible and Robert was pretty sure that he was the only person who sometimes got to see a glimpse of them. 

He almost felt bad for asking, but to his surprise, the other man nodded. He took the chestpiece off of Robert’s chest and placed it on his own after another moment of hesitation. 

It sounded beautiful, much softer and less loud than his own, it was quite a bit slower as well, still nowhere near a normal resting heart rate, though. He smiled up at Jimmy, it was such an intimate moment and he was so glad Jimmy let him listen. He let his gaze travel along Jimmy’s torso to where the chestpiece was pressed against his skin and he bit his lip.

“I can see it.” He said softly.

“Huh?” Jimmy asked, confused. 

“Your heart. I can see it beating. Here.” Robert repeated and raised his hand to gently touch a spot a tiny bit above where Jimmy was holding the chestpiece. It occurred to him it was the same spot Jimmy had pressed his fingertips to on him, earlier, only Jimmy was a lot skinnier than him. 

He heard Jimmy’s heart rate pick up as he looked down slowly. It got even faster as he watched the patch of skin beneath Robert’s fingertips jump and quiver with every beat. The singer couldn’t help himself and reached out to gently caress the other side of Jimmy’s chest, flicking a nipple teasingly. He was rewarded with a gasp and he could have sworn Jimmy’s heart skipped a beat only to continue even faster and harder. 

“Enough.” Jimmy said, removing the chestpiece from his chest, breathing heavily and glaring slightly at Robert. His face was red. “This was supposed to be my game. Not yours.” He sighed. “You’re really something else... nobody’s done something like that to me, before. Making me lose control like that, I mean. I don’t think anybody but you could.” He admitted.

The blonde grinned at him, removing the earpieces and handing them back. He was actually touched by what Jimmy said and by the fact that he didn’t seem all that bothered by it, either. He was mostly embarrassed, but aroused at the same time, and Robert thought it was hot.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist. If it’s any consolation, it didn’t get nearly as fast as mine, and you didn’t even touch me.” He offered and Jimmy laughed, shaking his head. 

“Yes, you’re quite... let’s say, responsive. Well, shall we see just how fast we can get it?” He asked and popped the eartips back in when Robert nodded eagerly. He felt his heart speed up again as Jimmy started listening again. For a while, he stuck to the two spots he’d been listening to earlier, then he flipped the chestpiece around, using the smaller part of it. He gently pressed it to a spot just below Robert’s left nipple. 

He was almost relieved when it started slowing down, he was getting used to being listened to. That seemed to be what Jimmy had been waiting for. He smiled at Robert mischievously. 

“There you go... now we can start playing.” He said, which almost ruined all of Robert’s efforts again, but he somehow managed to keep himself under control, but only just so. 

Jimmy leaned in to kiss him gently, and to his surprise, his heart slowed a little more at that, he just felt so comfortable and at ease. He felt the other man smile against this lips. Jimmy flipped the chestpiece around again and put it back on the second spot he’d listened to, where Robert could feel his heart beat against it most strongly.

“Hold it for me, please, I need my hands.” Jimmy said with a wicked grin and Robert bit his lip, doing as Jimmy told him, holding the stethoscope to his own chest. He looked up at his lover as the other studied him as if trying to decide what to do, or what to do first. 

Now that Robert was holding the stethoscope, he felt his own heartbeat even more, as if he hadn’t already been painfully aware of it before. 

“Oh, by the way, darling... no moaning, this time, alright? Stay quiet.” Jimmy told him and Robert nodded. It wasn’t easy for him, he’d always been very vocal, but the past week, at Headley Grange, he’d learned to keep quiet no matter what Jimmy was doing to him, just so the other guys wouldn’t murder them in their sleep.

The brunette seemed to have difficulties deciding what to do, or maybe he was too transfixed by the sound of Robert’s heartbeat in his ears, maybe he just liked letting Robert wait and how the anticipation made his heart rate rise again. He felt his face heat up again as Jimmy smirked at him.

“Hm, judging by the sound of this, I don’t even have to do anything.” Jimmy said, amused, tapping his chest gently. “I think I want to, though.” He added and dragged a calloused finger across Robert’s nipple. They were nowhere near as sensitive as Jimmy’s, but he did feel it. He couldn’t help but giggle as the other man tickled his sides. 

Jimmy shifted a little, scooting back as far as the stethoscope would allow him so he had better access to the blonde’s body. He started caressing him all over, starting with his arms and shoulders, his torso, then his legs, carefully avoiding his straining cock. 

When Robert was almost trembling under his hands, he slowly dragged his thumb up the underside of his cock, from the base to the tip.

“You know, this is going to make edging so much easier.” Jimmy said softly, almost innocently. 

The singer felt his heart rate spike. His lover had explained some of the terminology to him, so he knew exactly what ‘edging’ was. He loved and hated it at the same time, the way Jimmy would bring him to the edge of an orgasm just to stop touching him completely or slow down to where he just couldn’t reach his climax. He’d do that over and over again until Robert was almost crying with frustration, begging him to let him come. The part Robert loved was how hard he’d come when Jimmy would finally let him. 

“It’s always a bit of a guessing game, knowing just when you’re about to come, you know. But hearing your heart, I think I’ll have a pretty good idea when it’s about to happen.” Jimmy said, lazily stroking Robert’s cock with one hand, way too slowly, while the other hand cupped and massaged his balls gently. 

Robert had never thought about that, and quite frankly, right now he didn’t have too much brain capacity left to think about it very much either, but the rush of heat Jimmy’s comment sent through his body was enough to let him know he definitely liked the idea. 

By the time Jimmy had brought him right to the edge for the 4th time, his heart rate had plateaued steadily at a very fast pace, refusing to calm down even when Jimmy wasn’t touching him. 

“Interesting... I hadn’t anticipated that.” Jimmy murmured, sounding genuinely intrigued. “Hmm, what do I do with you, now?” He wondered, leaning down to kiss Robert. The change in position made Jimmy’s cock rub against the singers hip and he couldn’t help a small whimper escaping his throat. He’d longed to feel Jimmy since they’d started this. 

“Fuck me. Please, just fuck me.” He gasped, rolling his hips against his lover’s. Jimmy chuckled.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He asked, nipping at his neck. “I’d like that, too.” 

He took off the stethoscope and tossed it aside, then reached into the drawer of the bedside table for some lubricant. Robert swallowed nervously as Jimmy moved to kneel between his legs rather than straddling him. 

They had only done this once and he had been high on Quaaludes and wine, then. He wondered what it’d be like without that. He spread his legs to allow the other man better access and gasped as he felt a cool, slick finger enter him.

“Tell me if it’s too much.” Jimmy said softly, slowly moving his finger. A second one was added soon and it felt a little uncomfortable, but he willed himself to relax. It hurt a little as Jimmy started scissoring his fingers and he winced. “I’m sorry, love...” Jimmy cooed and kissed him again, using his other hand to stroke his cock to distract him. 

He started crooking his fingers to find that spot that had made Robert see stars the first time they did this and was rewarded with a low groan after a few tries. Jimmy smiled and kept rubbing the little spot he found, slowly scissoring his fingers a little more before adding a third. Robert cursed and pushed back against this hand.

“Come on... please... I’m ready.” He hissed, breathing heavily. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Jimmy said. “Patience.” He added. After a while, he reached for the lube again and slicked himself up as well. He lined himself up and slowly pushed in, carefully. Robert wrapped legs around Jimmy’s hips. He tensed up a little, it did hurt. Apparently, the drugs had made this quite a bit easier the first time. He took a few deep breaths and willed himself to relax again. “OK?” Jimmy asked and Robert briefly wondered how the smaller man had managed to take his much bigger cock that other time. It must have been so painful. 

“Yes... it’s good now.” He said and moved his hips ever so slightly, sighing when pain gave way to pleasure. 

“Good... oh, you’re so... so tight.” Jimmy sighed, resting his forehead against Robert’s for a moment. He stayed still while he kissed the blonde again, soon moving on to his neck to kiss, nibble and bite it. Robert moaned as Jimmy pressed his tongue flat against the pulse point there. 

The singer brought his hands, that had been clutching the sheet, up to caress Jimmy’s back, urging him to move. The brunette started thrusting, slowly and steadily. This time, it only took him a few strokes to find a good angle that made Robert moan softly every time. When he started to thrust a little faster, he propped himself up with his arms, one on the bed next to Robert and lifted the other to put his hand on the singer’s chest, pushing the heel of his hand against his heart. 

“Fuck!” Robert cursed and moaned, bucking against Jimmy wildly as he felt the erratic pounding of his heart against the guitarist’s hand.

“Touch yourself... I’m not... gonna last.” Jimmy gasped. 

“No... don’t need to... just... harder, Jimmy.” Robert panted in response, trying to push back against the other’s thrusts. He was sure he’d come just like this. Jimmy complied, starting to fuck him at an almost brutal pace that, combined with the sensation of his heart trying to escape his chest to beat in Jimmy’s hand instead, pushed him over the edge quickly. He wailed and arched on the bed, spurting thick, white come on his chest and belly. 

Jimmy made a strangled noise as he felt Robert clenching around him, thrusting a few more times before following suit. He collapsed on top of the blonde, his hand trapped between them both. 

“Fuck, you’re amazing... I can’t believe you came like that.” He gasped, nuzzling Robert’s neck. The blonde chuckled, still trying to catch his breath.

“Sometimes... I think that... I could come just... by listening to you... whispering certain things in my ear.” He said in between deep breaths. “Or by feeling my heart beat against your palm.”

“We’ll have to try that sometime.” Jimmy grinned. 

“So... I definitely have a new kink.” Robert admitted, caressing Jimmy’s back and the dark haired man chuckled.

“Good.” He said, immensely pleased that this had turned out so well.


	2. Coffee and Cigarettes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert has an idea, but he doesn't quite know how to ask Jimmy. Luckily, Jimmy already knows what's up and agrees to play along. He get's his heart to skip for Robert.
> 
> Coffee, cigarettes and PVC's!
> 
> There's a perfect visual for this chapter, btw...:
> 
> https://66.media.tumblr.com/de6302137bc2c56209f924c8d39d32ce/tumblr_pduqv17EQL1tybcm8_400.gif

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so here's some more cardiophile porn for you guys <3 Hope you enjoy, please don't forget to let me know what you thought!

Jimmy watched Robert as he bustled around the kitchen as he was sipping some coffee. He usually preferred tea in the morning, but Robert had made coffee and insisted he should have some, too. As soon as he finished his mug, Robert was there, refilling it. 

He smiled to himself a little, amused. Robert seemed nervous and Jimmy hadn’t failed to notice he didn’t really touch his breakfast. Neither did Jimmy, but then again, the brunette often skipped meals (and it showed).

By the time Robert had refilled his mug for the fifth time, Jimmy couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Alright, are you going to fill me in? What’s going on?” He asked. Robert looked startled for a moment, then sheepish.

“What do you mean?” He asked and toyed with one of the spoons on the table nervously. 

“You just refilled my cup for the fifth time.” Jimmy said, an amused smile still playing around his lips. He took another sip. “You’re up to something and I’d like to know what.” 

He watched Robert chew his lower lip worriedly, trying to decide how to answer. He watched the blonde’s gaze quickly flick from his face to the side of his neck, it lingered there for a moment, then went down to his chest, lingering a little again before going back up to his face. Then he immediately averted his gaze, uncomfortable. Jimmy smirked. 

“Ah... I see. I think I know what is going on.” He said and watched Robert’s face turn red. “You know, you could have just told me that you want to play.” He added and downed the rest of his fifth mug of coffee. “Bedroom, then?” He offered and got up, leaving the kitchen. “Oh and Robert? Bring your cigarettes.”

The blonde stayed in the kitchen for a moment, a little dazed (and confused, you might say), and silently cursed himself. Of course Jimmy would catch on. He hadn’t been terribly subtle, had he? He made to follow the brunette to the bedroom, then went back to grab his pack of cigarettes from the table as well as a lighter, wondering why Jimmy wanted him to bring those. The guitarist didn’t smoke. 

He found Jimmy in the bedroom, mostly naked already, taking off the rest of his clothes. “Come on, take off your stuff, I don’t wanna have to fumble around later.” Jimmy said and Robert put the cigarettes down on the bed, starting to undress as well. He was still a little taken aback by Jimmy’s reaction and a little embarrassed that he was so easy to read.

“Is this... is this ok with you?” He asked nervously. Jimmy laughed.

“You could have asked me that before feeding me a liter of coffee and risk giving me a heart attack, you know?” He asked, grinning. “But yes, yes it is very ok. But I told you before that I want you to talk to me and tell me what you want. Even if you think it’s weird or that I won’t like it.” He said and opened the drawer of his bedside table and passed Robert the stethoscope. “This *is* what you had in mind, right?” He asked. The blonde nodded. 

“I’m sorry if this is too weird for you...” He mumbled. Jimmy laughed again.

“It’s not weird at all. I’ve done stranger things.” He said and the next thing Robert knew, he found himself on the bed with a very naked, already rather aroused guitarist in his lap. 

“Well?” Jimmy asked expectantly. The blonde just stared up at him for a moment, awestruck. 

He looked absolutely breathtaking, the way he was straddling Robert, his hair wild and messy, cheeks flushed and he was already half hard. “Robert? Love? Are you with me?” He asked, amused, and Robert bit his lip.

“Sorry, it’s just... it’s just... you’re so gorgeous.” He whispered and reached up to caress Jimmy’s cheek. The brunette tilted his head and rested it in Robert’s palm, smiling against it. 

“You really make me feel like I actually am.” He said. “You look at me with so much love and desire, it’s... hard not to feel sexy.” He leaned back a little, his hands supporting his weight on either side of Robert’s legs behind him and stretched a little, arching his back and sighing. The way he was moving made the singer’s blood rush straight between his legs. 

Jimmy, despite being so skinny, had an incredibly nice body, perfectly proportioned, long, lean limbs with carefully defined muscles despite the fact that he didn’t work out. With his pale skin, rosy red lips, his dark, almost black hair and his green eyes with the long, dark lashes, he was incredibly beautiful. He’d gained a lot of confidence and became less self conscious since they started dating, and it only made him more sexy.

With the way his back was arched, Robert saw his heart fluttering right beneath his skin even more so than the last time they did this. 

Jimmy noticed the way Robert’s gaze was fixed to that one spot on his chest and he smiled, took the other’s hand and placed it on his chest. To Robert’s surprise, his heart beat oddly slowly, especially considering all the caffeine he’d had, but each beat was incredibly strong and forceful, much more so than the last time. It was so forceful, the blonde saw it move his hand with every thumping beat.

“Hmmhm, caffeine does weird things to me, doesn’t it?” Jimmy commented as he saw Robert’s surprised, awed expression, smirking. “That’s why I indulged you and didn’t complain about all the coffee... I love the way this feels.” He admitted and sat up, pressing his chest a little harder against the other man’s palm. “It doesn’t make it much faster but... much stronger, like it has to make every beat count, so forceful.”

“It’s... it’s... this is...” Robert didn’t even have the words to express how that made him feel. It literally felt like he held Jimmy’s heart in his hand. He stopped trying to express what he felt with words and sat up a little to wrap his arms around the skinnier man. He slid his hands up his back and pulled him closer, pressing his lips to the other’s chest. He felt Jimmy chuckle.

“You’re such a sucker for this romantic crap, aren’t you?” He said with a grin, wrapping his arms around the blonde’s head and gently raking his hands through Robert’s curls. There was so mean intention in his voice, he was just teasing, and Robert knew that. He nodded his head against Jimmy’s chest, then pressed his ear against it a moment later. 

Of course the sound was nowhere near as crisp and clean as it was with the stethoscope, but this was so much more intimate as he held Jimmy close. This way, felt the warmth of his body, he felt him inhale and exhale, he felt his heart thumping hard against the side of his face and he was able to hear it, as well. It was perfect. 

“I just... I just love you so fucking much.” Robert sighed after a while, emotional. “I’m sorry... I know you’re not into this, but... sometimes I need to say it.” He said. He felt Jimmy gently kiss the top of his head.

“Did you honestly just apologize for telling me that you love me?” He asked, amused. “I may act grumpy and cold most of the time, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be loved... or that I don’t love you. I do.” He said softly. “I love you more than anything and anyone in the world.” He whispered and Robert closed his eyes. Jimmy had never been this open, this emotional, and he wanted to savour every second of it. 

They stayed like that for a while, Robert listening with a blissful smile on his face, Jimmy gently playing with his hair. 

“This is why you gave me all that coffee, isn’t it?” Jimmy asked. “You wanted to get my heart racing. Don’t you know you don’t need coffee for that?” He chuckled. “How did this play out in your head, anyways? Did you plan to sneak a listen when I wasn’t paying attention or something?” 

Robert shook his head against Jimmy’s chest and sighed.

“I don’t know... I guess I was hoping to just... get to feel it without you even noticing. You know, hugging you is enough, you’re so skinny.” He said, kissing the other man’s chest again. 

“Hm, next time, you can just tell me, I promise I won’t try to hex you or something.” Jimmy grinned. “You already knew I’m into this.”

“I thought... I thought only the other way ‘round. You got so flustered when you let me listen the last time.” Robert said. 

“I’ll admit, being on the receiving end is new to me, but... I trust you and I’m willing to give it a try.” Jimmy said. Robert smiled, holding him a little tighter. 

“Thank you...” He whispered, closing his eyes and resting his head back on the skinnier man’s chest.

“It’s gonna start doing pretty crazy things, soon, you know.” Jimmy said. “When all the caffeine really kicks in. Especially if I smoke one or two of those.” He added, nodding towards the pack of cigarettes. Robert looked up at him in surprise.

“Crazy things?” He asked, biting his lip. Jimmy nodded.

“Yeah... it’s gonna start skipping like mad. It’s called a premature ventricular contraction, or PVC. I always get them when I smoke, especially if I also had coffee.” He explained. 

“How do you know all this?” Robert wondered. “I mean, it’s interesting, but it sounds like you went to medical school or something. Last time, you knew exactly where to put the stethoscope, too.” Robert observed. Jimmy laughed.

“I just... had a special interest. I read up on it a lot.” He shrugged. “I experimented. With that.” He said, pointing at the stethoscope. Robert blinked at him, then groaned and buried his face against his chest.

“Are you trying to tell me you used that thing on yourself and... experimented?” He asked, trying very hard not to picture that. He failed and felt his cock twitch and throb in response to the pictures forming in his mind.

“Hmmhm. In this very bed, right here.” Jimmy grinned. “I was lying right here, steth on my chest, earpieces in my ears, cigarette in my hand... and I listened how it would skip a beat right after I took the first drag of the cigarette... then I’d listen to it go crazy as I touched myself.” He whispered. 

“Fuck, Jimmy, stop...” Robert groaned, tightening his hold on the other man. “You’re gonna make me come like a fucking teenager, without even touching me. Do you have any idea how hot that is? Fuck.”

“Considering I can feel you throbbing against my thigh right now, I think I have some idea...” Jimmy teased and nuzzled his neck. Robert heard him gasp slightly, then. “Ah... there we go, it started.” 

The singer looked up at him for a moment. “Are you ok? Is this... is this safe?” He asked, slightly worried. Jimmy nodded.

“Aww... you’re so sweet.” Jimmy cooed, caressing Robert’s face gently. “It’s fine. PVC’s aren’t dangerous, they happen to everyone. Some things, like caffeine and smoking can make them happen more often. It only gets dangerous when it becomes chronic... and it’s not, for me. Don’t worry.” He said. “I’m perfectly healthy.” 

“Ok... Ok, good.” Robert said, more to himself than to his lover, then he scooted back a little on the bed so he could sit comfortably against the headboard. He pulled Jimmy along with him on the bed. “May I?” he asked, reaching for the stethoscope. The dark haired man nodded, again leaning back a little so Robert had better access to his chest. 

Robert fitted the earpieces into his ears and tried to decide which spot to listen to. He chose what had quickly become his favorite spot, the one just next to Jimmy’s nipple, where it was loudest and he could feel it push against his hand most. Again, he expected it to be so fast, with all the caffeine, but it was slow and hard, thumping strongly against the metal. 

He watched as Jimmy reached out and took the pack of cigarettes as well as the ashtray that Robert had left on the bedside table the night before. It occurred to him that he’s never seen Jimmy smoke before as he watched him take a cigarette from the pack. He put it between his lips and reached for the lighter, running his free hand through his hair. Robert thought he looked hot like that. So far, his heart had been very steady and hadn’t skipped yet.

Robert listened in awe as Jimmy took the first drag from the cigarette. It wasn’t the best spot for it, but he actually heard his lungs fill with air, or rather smoke, as he inhaled deeply. Robert couldn’t help but notice how sexy he looked, smoking. He felt Jimmy’s chest and belly tremble slightly with the effort not to cough. He obviously wasn’t used to smoking. He managed, though, and kept the smoke in his lungs for quite a while. 

The effect was immediate. At first, his heart rate just increased, then Robert felt and heard his heart give one incredibly strong, hard beat followed by a moment of silence, then two beats in rapid succession, before it fell back into it’s normal rhythm. The blonde stared up at the brunette in wonder. Jimmy released the breath he’d been holding, blowing the smoke to the side.

“Holy shit.” Robert said as he removed the chestpiece for a moment, making Jimmy chuckle softly. “It sounded like it stopped, for a moment.”

“Well, it did...sort of.” The other said. “Did you like that?” He asked and Robert chewed his lower lip worriedly, then he nodded.

“This shouldn’t turn me on so much, but it does.” He admitted, slightly scared by the realization.

“Oh it absolutely should, because I feel the same.” Jimmy said and kissed him gently. “Don’t feel bad about it... there’s no need. Isn’t it great that we’re both so turned on by this?” He asked. Robert nodded.

“It is...” He said and watched as Jimmy closed his eyes and put his own hand on his chest for a moment, taking a deep breath and releasing it.

“God, I love the way it feels when it happens. It almost knocks the breath out of me with how hard it pounds.” He said and Robert groaned. A big part of what turned him on so much was how much Jimmy loved this and the way it made him feel. 

“What do you like best, feeling it... seeing it... or hearing it?” Jimmy asked him, then, and Robert didn’t even have to think about it.

“Feeling it. I mean... I like everything about it, but... feeling it does the most for me.” He admitted. “Seeing it is a huge turn on, too... hearing it, too, of course. But I guess... feeling it is the most intimate. I also liked it best when I felt... mine beating against your palm.” He explained and Jimmy smiled at him, kissing him again. 

“I think I like hearing it, best... I mean, I can’t even see yours, you’re too muscular. I can sometimes see the pulse in your neck. It’s nice. Feeling it is wonderful, too, I agree.” He said. Robert gently slid his hands up Jimmy’s torso, resting them both just across his collar bones. With how strongly Jimmy’s heart was thumping, he could feel it shake his whole chest with every beat. He also felt it with the tips of his fingers that were resting against Jimmy’s throat.

He then put the chestpiece back on Jimmy’s chest, this time on the spot below his nipple. It was quite loud there, too.

The brunette continued smoking and Robert listened to his heart beat harder, the sound becoming thumpier and heavier. By the time he’d finished the second cigarette, it had started skipping and stumbling more and more. The blonde pulled him closer to kiss him, tasting coffee and cigarettes, and it was perfect.

Jimmy guided Robert’s free hand back on his chest and Robert pressed the heel of his palm against it, amazed at how strongly he felt it now. Jimmy swayed a little on his lap. 

“You OK?” Robert asked worriedly, steadying him. Jimmy just smiled at him, nodding.

“Fine. Just dizzy. That was some strong coffee you made there.” He winked and Robert blushed. “Smoking always makes me a little dizzy as it is. But don’t worry, I’m fine and I love this.” His heart definitely felt like it was struggling by now, skipping every so often and losing its rhythm, sounding like it stopped for a second before beating a rapid staccato to catch up again. 

After a particularly hard skip, it felt like it was trembling and quivering inside his chest for a moment rather than beating, the usually clear and crisp sound changing to something more indistinguishable and Robert noticed Jimmy’s eyes losing focus for a second. 

“Fuck...” He cursed. “Are you sure you’re ok?” Robert asked. As much as he loved this, he couldn’t help but worry slightly. Jimmy grinned at him.

“Hm, I don’t know, let me check.” He said teasingly with a cheeky grin on his pretty face and snatched the stethoscope from Robert. He popped the earpieces in and started listening to himself, leaning back on Robert’s legs to give him a better view. The blonde cursed again because he hadn’t really stopped thinking about Jimmy doing just that ever since he’d mentioned it earlier. He felt his cock twitch in response and leak a drop of precome. “Sounds good to me.” Jimmy commented and grinned at the other man again. 

Robert let his gaze wander over the brunette’s body, from his flushed face over the stethoscope on his chest that was bouncing ever so slightly with each hard beat, moving his own hand up and down, over his flat stomach to his crotch. 

Jimmy was rock hard and leaking already as well, and more than that, his cock was bobbing and throbbing ever so slightly with each heartbeat. Robert had to avert his gaze or he would have spent himself just looking at it. 

“It’s ok... you don’t have to hold back.” Jimmy said, watching him. He took the earpieces out and handed the stethoscope back to Robert. “You can touch me, if you want. You can come if you want. It’s alright. Do whatever feels good, babe.”

“I don’t... not yet.” Robert said, taking the offered device back. “Having you here, in front of me, like this... is intoxicating. I don’t want it to end yet.” Jimmy smiled at him, somehow managing to look perfectly angelic despite his flushed face and his hard, leaking cock. 

“Well, I’m all yours.” The brunette whispered in a very unusual display of submission, leaning back a little further. Robert bent his knees, propping up his legs so Jimmy could lean against his thighs. The change of position brought Jimmy so much closer to Robert’s aching cock and he couldn’t help but roll his hips up against the other man’s butt a little. 

“And you’re so gorgeous...” Robert answered, looking at Jimmy sprawled out in front of him. He put the earpieces back in and the chestpiece back on his favorite spot. The heart was still stumbling and stuttering every few beats, sounding absolutely crazy. “Hold it for me.” He said, then, much like Jimmy had the first time they did this and he had been on the receiving end. 

He heard Jimmy’s heart speed up in anticipation as he moved to hold the chestpiece in place, his eyes never leaving Robert’s face. He slowly slid his hands up Jimmy’s thighs, then up the sides of his torso, making sure his thumbs grazed his nipples as he did so. His flush had spread all the way down to his chest by now. 

Robert kept caressing him, teasingly and kept his touches deliberately light, running just the very tips of his fingers across his heated skin, raising Jimmy’s frustration.

He soon had Jimmy’s heart racing and he noticed that, oddly enough, now that is was beating so much faster, it was much steadier and didn’t skip as much as it did before when it was slower. 

“Robert, please.” Jimmy said after a while, when he just couldn’t take the teasing anymore. “Please touch me?”

“But I am.” Robert answered, caressing his chest lightly again, starting to tease his nipples. Jimmy whined.

“Not like... that... I mean... please!” He gasped, bucking his hips into thin air needily. Robert grinned, he had him exactly where he wanted him. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.” Robert said. He tried hard to look innocent, but it was almost impossible to hide what exactly this was doing to him and he wasn’t quite as good as Jimmy at this.

“God... fucking damnit, Robert... you’re gonna regret this.” Jimmy growled. It sounded funny through the stethoscope. The singer chuckled and took pity on the brunette.

He slowly dragged his hand down Jimmy’s torso, scratched one of his nipples with a fingernail on the way down, earning himself a little gasp and then wrapped his hand around Jimmy’s by now overly sensitive cock. The sound the guitarist made was amplified by the stethoscope, almost drowning out the sound of his heart slamming a mad rhythm against the metal chestpiece.

He started moving his hand and Jimmy’s heart rate went even higher, Robert would have loved to know how fast it was going, it sounded insane. Jimmy thrust up into his fist and climaxed almost right away, throwing his head back and biting his fist to muffle a moan or a scream. 

The blonde couldn’t help himself, he thrust his hips up against the back of Jimmy’s thigh and came as he listened to the brunette’s heart skip several beats, struggle to keep up the insane, erratic pace for a few more seconds, before it finally started slowing down. 

He watched as Jimmy slowly opened his eyes to look at him. He put the stethoscope aside and pulled Jimmy into his arms, not caring that he was making a mess, smearing both of their come all over them, but he needed to feel the other man close, in his arms. Jimmy let him, wrapping his arms around his neck and nuzzling it. 

“Fuck... I felt... I felt like I was gonna pass out.” He gasped, leaning on Robert heavily, boneless.

“Are you ok now?” Robert asked, gently caressing his back soothingly. Jimmy nodded.

“‘m fine.” He mumbled, exhausted. Robert felt him grin against his neck. “That was, hands down, the best fucking orgasm I ever had.” He said and Robert laughed, surprised and pleased. 

“Really? That good?” He asked, holding the brunette even closer. 

“Yeah... you were amazing. I never thought I’d enjoy... being in that position. But I did. A lot.” Jimmy admitted. “You do realize how much I trust you, right? You know I don’t usually like being in such a vulnerable position. I would never let anybody else do something like this to me. Never ever.” He added and Robert closed his eyes, burying his face in Jimmy’s hair. He did know it, and it felt surreal.

“I know... I... thank you.” He said, not really finding the words. “I feel honored you trust me that much.” Jimmy pulled back a little to smile at him and kiss him lazily. 

“Did you...” he started and wriggled his hips a little, then grinned. “Ah... you did.” He said as he felt the slightly sticky wetness against the back of his thigh. Robert blushed.

“Oh god... I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it.” He admitted. “When you... when you came and I heard what your heart did... how insanely crazy it went... all I had to do was rub against you once or twice and I was gone. That was so, so hot.”

“That’s good... that’s awesome, actually.” Jimmy grinned. “I never thought I’d find someone who’s into the same stuff I’m into...” 

“Well... looks like you did.” Robert grinned reached for the pack of wipes they now conveniently kept on their bedside table and started cleaning them. Jimmy just lay in his arms bonelessly, letting him do whatever he wanted. When they were clean, Robert shifted a bit so they were lying down and pulled the blanket over them. It wasn’t even noon yet, but they had nowhere to go and a little nap wouldn’t hurt. 

“Hm... Jimmy? Would you... I mean, would you be up for trying something else with me, some other time?” Robert then asked, hesitant. 

“Depends on what that is, I guess.” Jimmy answered, blinking at Robert sleepily, but his curiosity was showing anyways.

“Well, I was thinking... since we just discovered that you’re, apparently, even though you hate to admit it, not totally averse to being on the receiving end of these kind of games... would you let me be in charge again?” Robert asked, unable to keep himself from teasing the other man a little.

Jimmy shrugged and nodded.

“Of course. I have no problem admitting, at least to you, that I liked it.” He said. 

“Would you let me... be rough with you? See what it feels like?” Robert asked, nuzzling the other man’s neck. “See if you like it? Because I think I like being in charge just as much as I like it when you have me at your mercy.”

“I... would you stop if I asked you to?” Jimmy asked.

“Of course. You can think of a safeword, too, if you like.” The blonde answered gently. 

“In that case, yes. We can try that.” Jimmy agreed and snuggled a little closer. 

“How do you feel now? Is... is your heart alright?” Robert asked and rubbed Jimmy’s back soothingly. 

“Aww baby... it’s perfectly fine.” Jimmy smiled. “Spoon me? I have an idea, since you’re so worried...” He said, then. He turned to lie on his left side and Robert lay behind him, wrapping his arms around him. “Here... put your hand right there.” Jimmy said, propping himself up on his arm a little and guiding Robert’s right hand to rest on his left side. He then lay down on Robert’s hand and shifted forward just a little. 

“There. Feel that? That’s the apex beat, the tip of my heart pushing against your hand.” He explained. “Now you can make sure it really is ok.” 

Robert was quiet for a moment, stunned. He felt every beat so strongly and clearly with Jimmy resting his weight on his hand, it was mesmerizing. 

“Wow... it feels like... it feels like I’m holding it in my hand.” He whispered, lightly pushing his palm up against it. It was all slow and lazy now, but still very strong, only skipping occasionally. Jimmy was obviously exhausted. “This feels amazing.”

“Hmmhm. Feels really, really good to me, too.” Jimmy mumbled sleepily. He put his hand on Roberts arm, holding it tight, and Robert knew he’d fallen asleep when he felt his heart slow down even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you give me feedback, I will love you 5ever and you'll make my little heart very, very happy! <3


	3. Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy gets a taste of how possessive Robert can be, making sure he knows just whom his heart belongs to. He's surprised to find out that he likes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a little interlude to lead us to the next chapter that is currently being developed in my head :P Robert is possessive and Jimmy loves it!
> 
> This was inspired by a few gifs of Jimmy on stage that I found. I'm pretty sure you can actually see his heartbeat a little in those. 
> 
> I'm switching to Jimmy's POV because I wrote all the other parts of this story and the whole of Kashmir in Robert's POV (mostly so I could gush about how pretty Jimmy is...), but I thought I'd explore the emotions of our adorable, little guitarist a little more, too.

Jimmy’s POV

The first time Robert got a little rougher with him was, to Jimmy’s surprise, during a concert. They were doing a little warm up tour in the UK for the second album, doing just a few smaller shows to get back into it after their break. 

Their first concert was in a small town somewhere in the south west of England and since it was June, it was pretty warm already. They did their best, anyway, putting on a hell of a show for the kids in the audience, playing a few new songs as well. 

Bonzo had a new drum solo, they called it Moby Dick (Jimmy was amused that Robert still couldn’t announce the song without an immature giggle), and it lasted at least 15 minutes, sometimes way more. It gave the others a chance to go backstage and get a drink or do whatever it was they wanted to do. 

During this first gig, Robert immediately pulled Jimmy into one of the smaller dressing rooms backstage as soon as Bonzo started his solo. The guitarist was pushed against the wall opposite the door roughly and felt his breath being knocked out of him by the blonde’s sweaty body slamming into his own. 

“You’re mine...” Robert growled possessively and kissed him, rough and sloppy. Jimmy moaned in surprise, kissing him back and moving to wrap his arms around the singer’s neck, only to have him grab his wrists and force them back against the wall on either side of his head. “Say it. Say that you’re mine.” Robert demanded. 

He kissed the brunettes neck, then bit down on it, soothing the bite with his tongue afterwards. Jimmy gasped, bucking against the bigger body that was pushing his own into the wall.

“Yes... yes, I am. I’m yours.” He panted, surprised by his boyfriend’s sudden possessiveness. The singer continued attacking his neck roughly, then raised the skinnier man’s arms above his head to he could hold both of his wrists with one hand. His free hand came to rest on Jimmy’s chest, right above his heart. The guitarist had gone shirtless, for the first time during a concert, due to the heat. He’d only put on a little, black bolero jacket.

“This is mine.” Robert said hoarsely, a dangerously jealous glint in his blue eyes as he looked down into the green ones staring back at him. 

“Yes, of course it is...” Jimmy agreed, relishing the feeling of his heart pounding against his lovers hand. The way Robert was acting was exciting and he briefly wondered what brought it on. The blonde kissed him again, hard, almost bruising him, nipping and biting at his lips. It only made the guitarist’s heart pound harder.

“I hate... I hate that everyone can see it.” Robert spat out after a while, glaring down at Jimmy’s bare chest. The guitarist raised an eyebrow.

“D’you really think anybody would notice? Is it really that obvious?” He asked. “I’m moving around so much, nobody can actually tell.”

“When you’re standing still, they could. I saw it. Maybe other people don’t notice... but I know it’s there, I know it’s visible... and I don’t want anyone else to see.” Robert growled and put his hand back over the spot where he could see the skin moving with every beat. He was still holding Jimmy’s arms above his head with his other hand and the guitarist felt them go numb slowly. He loved how possessive and jealous Robert was, though, it was both hot and endearing. He smiled.

“I could put something on, if you like.” He offered, arching his back a little to push his chest against his lover’s hand. “I assure you, this is all yours... only you get to feel this. I promise.” Robert sighed and let go of his arms, wrapping both of his arms around the skinnier man and holding him tight. He nuzzled his neck and kissed a spot right behind his ear softly. 

“I wished I could tell everyone that you’re mine...” He whispered. “I wished I could mark your body all over and show everyone whom you belong to.” Jimmy bit his lip at the last comment, that was hot. He wanted that.

“Wow... where did that come from? You weren’t that possessive before.” He chuckled. “I like it.”

“I was... I just thought you’d mind, so I held back.” Robert admitted. Jimmy was still pinned to the wall firmly by the other man, his bulk holding him there with ease. 

“I don’t mind at all. I want to be yours... and I feel the same about you, you know.” He said. 

“Hmmm... oh, the things I’m going to do to you when we get back home.” Robert purred into his ear and Jimmy felt his knees go weak. He never felt like this before, he always enjoyed being in control, but recently, with Robert, things were different. 

“Promises, promises.” He whispered back with a grin. 

They quickly let go of each other as they heard the door to the little dressing room open. Robert took a few steps back, leaving a flushed and flustered guitarist leaning against the wall. Luckily, it was the one person backstage that knew about them anyway.

Jonesy raised an eyebrow at Robert as he stood in the doorway. 

“Sorry to interrupt... but we have to get back on stage.” He said. The bass player’s eyes then drifted over to where Jimmy was leaning against the wall and his jaw dropped. “Holy shit Jimmy, you’re a mess.” 

The brunette felt himself blush. Of course he was a mess, with the way Robert had come on to him just now. He was more than a little hard in his tight pants and he knew that the singer had given him several hickeys. His neck and shoulder were probably red with beard burn, well, stubble burn, as well. When he looked down, he saw that his suspicion was correct. There was also a small red patch on the center of his chest, a tiny bit to the left, where Robert had pushed the heel of his palm to his heart. 

When he glanced up at his lover, the blonde looked more than a little smug and proud, while Jonesy was obviously amused at the state he found the guitarist in. 

“Well, tell our singer not to assault me during drum solos and I’ll be fine.” He said gruffly, quickly grabbing a t-shirt from his bag that was sitting on the bench in the dressing room and putting it on. His hair would do a good job hiding the rest of what Robert had done.

He shot them both another glare as the other men laughed, grabbed his guitar, and went back on stage. Luckily the instrument hid the other little problem he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback? Oh yes, please! :D


	4. Switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert surprises Jimmy with just how dominant and creative he can be. Electro-stimulation and breathplay ahead!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! OK, there's only a little cardiophilia in this chapter, but it did give Jimmy an idea that is going to be in the next chapter! :) Enjoy.  
> Lil' disclamer: Breathplay can be fatal. Be careful. This is just fiction.

Jimmy had been incredibly horny ever since the dressing room incident, but tour life just didn’t allow them any time alone until almost a week later, back at Jimmy’s boathouse. The guitarist had almost thrown himself at his lover the moment they entered the house, but the blonde had, gently but firmly, pushed him away. 

Jimmy was shocked. That wasn’t like Robert at all, especially after such a long time. He knew the singer must be just as horny, if not more so, so he couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he had been rejected. 

“Patience. Wait. Just a bit longer.” The blonde had told him. “It’ll be worth it.” He’d added, then he’d disappeared in his car, to ‘run some errands’. 

The brunette huffed in frustration, raking his hand through his dark mane. What could possibly be more important than getting in bed with him right now? Unless... unless he was planning something. Knowing Robert, that was probably the case. The more Jimmy thought about it, the more likely it seemed to him. The blonde had been awfully secretive the past few days, he’d been reading a lot, but he’d refused to tell Jimmy what exactly he was reading, hiding the pages every time someone got close to him. There were hushed phone calls from the hotel phone, too and when they came to Jimmy’s house, two little parcels had been waiting in front of the door.

Robert had put them in his car before Jimmy was able to read the address they came from or make out a company logo on the boxes. 

They had even talked about his safeword. He’d opted for yellow if he wanted to slow down and red if he wanted to stop completely. He wasn’t as creative with words as the blonde was, so he went for the classics. Robert had asked for a non-verbal sign as well and Jimmy had shown him a hand gesture, but told him he didn’t want to be gagged. He just didn’t like the thought. The blonde had nodded and told him he didn’t plan on doing that, leaving the guitarist to wonder why he’d need a non-verbal sign, then.

He thought of a few things that would render him unable to speak, but he couldn’t picture Robert doing any of that. His sweet, loving, gentle Robert? Even after the glimpse of the vocalist’s other, more dominant side that he got in the dressing room, he couldn’t quite picture it.

With a sigh, the guitarist decided to take a long shower, washing himself thoroughly, then he sat down to have a glass of wine and just relaxed. He poured himself a generous amount and put on his favorite record. Maybe, just maybe, if he was patient, he’d be pleasantly surprised. He was incredibly curious to know what Robert came up with. It obviously took a lot of preparation. 

He closed his eyes and listened to the music, slowly sipping his wine. He almost jumped out of his armchair when Robert returned, but told himself to be patient once again. He watched the blonde carry one of the boxes as he disappeared up the stairs. He had half a mind to follow the other man, but then again... he’d been told to be patient and wait, so he did. He’d agreed to switch roles, so he’d do it properly and remain passive, for now. 

It didn’t take all that long for Robert to return back downstairs and join him. He sat in another armchair, lounging and listening to the music as well. If he was trying to build up the tension between them, he was doing a damn good job, Jimmy thought as he watched the blonde. 

Once the record ended, Robert got up and switched off the player. Jimmy then watched him slowly walk towards him, like a lion stalking its prey. He took the glass out of his hand and put it on the table next to them, then grabbed a fistful of Jimmy’s shirt and janked him to his feet by it. 

The guitarist heard some of the seams rip in the process, but he didn’t care, because this was all kinds of hot. He put his hands on Robert’s shoulders to steady himself after the sudden movement and looked up at the blonde.

“Hi...” He breathed, acting shy on purpose. Robert smirked at him and put an arm around his waist. 

“Hi.” Robert echoed. “You’re coming with me.” He said and suddenly, Jimmy was flung across the blonde’s broad shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He yelped and clutched at Robert’s hips as he dangled from the other man’s shoulders, scared he’d be dropped. 

He was only put down once Robert reached the bedroom, though. He didn’t have much time to breathe or think about what just happened as he was pushed back against the wall right away, just like in the dressing room a week ago. The blonde kissed him heatedly and hungrily right away.

“Hmm, since I already started this, might as well...” Robert said, looking at the torn seam at the side of Jimmy’s shirt. He grabbed some more of the fabric and roughly tore the rest of it off of the guitarists body. Jimmy gasped and he stared up at the other man wide eyed. He enjoyed being treated this way. He was also elated that he was finally getting some action.

Robert’s hands immediately started roaming his now naked torso as he kept him pinned against the wall with his hips. Soon, he moved his body closer to Jimmy’s again, though, pinning him against the wall with his whole body as he kissed him. The brunette’s wrists were grabbed and pinned next to his head again and this time, Robert grabbed them hard enough to bruise. Jimmy moaned into kiss and bucked his hips, surprising himself. 

He was rewarded with a sharp bite to his lower lip. 

“Stop that.” Robert said, squeezing his wrists harder. Jimmy almost bucked his hips again, but caught himself just in time, afraid of what Robert would do if he did. He’d had a good teacher in this after all. “Good. Today, I get to decide what you feel.” Robert grinned. Jimmy felt his knees go weak again and he was glad Robert’s body was supporting him. 

The singer started kissing, nipping and sucking at his neck again, releasing his wrists to grab his hips, also hard enough to bruise. Jimmy moaned again.

“My, you’re noisy today...” Robert commented with a smirk and the brunette blushed. It was true, it was completely unlike him to make all those noises, especially when they had barely even started. 

“Would you rather I held back?” He breathed, looking up into those blue eyes. 

“Oh hell no... I love it when you let me hear you... I’ve been wanting to make you make those noises since our first time.” Robert answered and kissed him again, slowly grinding his hips against Jimmy’s, who moaned again, encouraged. He started working on the button of Jimmy’s jeans, then, and roughly pulled them down along with his underwear. Jimmy kicked them off and away from his feet.

As soon as Jimmy raised his hands to try to unbutton Robert’s shirt, he was spun around and pushed face-first into the wall. He made a strangled sound as his cheek hit the wall and his hands were forced behind his back. Robert moved closer again, pushing him harder against the wall and Jimmy moaned as his hard cock rubbed against the rough texture of the wall. It hurt, but only just so. 

“Did I say you could do that?” Robert hissed into his ear and he shook his head. 

“N-no. I’m sorry.” He managed to gasp. The blonde held his hands by the wrists with one of his hands, while the other tangled in the thick, black hair and pulled his head back and to the side roughly, baring his neck and throat. 

“I’ll have to do something about those grabby hands of yours.” Robert purred and started sucking little red marks on his bared neck. “Stay like this. Don’t move.” He then said and Jimmy felt him move away. He watched over his shoulder and saw that Robert went to the box he brought from the car. He pulled something out but Jimmy couldn’t quite see what it was and he didn’t want to risk turning around. He couldn’t see what else was in the box either, there was something, but he couldn’t make out what, but he was dying of curiosity. 

When Robert came back, he was holding a pair of soft looking, dark emerald green leather cuffs, connected with a small but sturdy looking silver chain. He held them up for Jimmy to see, grinning. 

“I had a little something something made... I thought the color went well with your eyes.” He teased. Jimmy bit his lip.

“You had them made for us?” He asked, excited. Robert nodded.

“These, and some other things. There’s a pair of blue ones, too, for you to use on me... but we won’t be needing those today.” Robert chuckled and ran his hands down Jimmy’s arms which he still kept behind his back, just the way Robert had put them. 

The guitarist was dying to know what else Robert had made, but he told himself to be patient once again. He couldn’t help but smile at how Robert, somehow, managed to be romantic even in this setting, with the color coded leather cuffs, matching their eye colors.

His breath hitched as he felt Robert sliding the cuffs on his wrists and tightening them. The little chain made a sweet little sound as Robert adjusted its length to keep his wrists close together. The cuffs allowed him to move just a little, but not very much at all. Jimmy had always been the one tying his partners up, he’d never been the one to be restrained, so this was a completely new sensation for him. It was incredibly exciting.

More than that, he felt an odd sense of belonging in his chest, a warmth spreading through his entire body. He closed his eyes for a moment to savour the feeling for a bit. he felt his whole body relax and he rested his cheek against the cool wall. He never thought he’d feel this way, that this would feel oh so good to him, but it did. 

It was a strange mix of emotions because it both excited him and calmed him down, at the same time.

“It feels amazing, doesn’t it?” Robert whispered into his ear, obviously having noticed the sudden change in his lover. “You’re all mine... and you don’t even know what I’m going to do to you...” He grinned as Jimmy’s breath hitched again at hearing his promise. “Oh I’m going to have so much fun...” He chuckled darkly and Jimmy was grateful he was already leaning against the wall as his knees started to feel like jelly again. 

“I... I don’t even have a suspicion what you’re planning.” Jimmy confirmed breathlessly. “I’m dying of curiosity, though.” 

“Well, you’re going to be dying for a little longer, then.” Robert chuckled, grabbing him by shoulders and spinning him around again so he was facing the blonde again. “I want you to do something for me before we get started.” 

“Yes? Anything you want.” Jimmy said, cringing at how eager he sounded. Robert smiled and kissed him, almost gently this time. 

“I want you... to get on your knees... and suck my cock.” Robert purred against his lips in between kisses. It immediately made sense to Jimmy. The blonde was already rock hard in his pants, whatever he wanted to do to the brunette, he wouldn’t last long enough for either of them to enjoy it, so getting him off was probably a very good idea. 

So Jimmy slowly slid down the wall, dropping to his knees. He had to be careful not to lose his balance, with his hands tied behind his back it would have resulted in the most embarrassing faceplant ever, so he used the wall behind him until he was safely kneeling in front of the vocalist. Robert grinned down at him cheekily.

“Well? What are you waiting for?” He asked and Jimmy stared up at him in bewilderment. His jeans were still done up and Jimmy’s hands were tied. It occurred to him that Robert knew exactly what he was doing, that he wanted Jimmy to struggle a little. He’d have to use his mouth to open those jeans, Robert didn’t make a move to help him. He glared at the blonde for a second before leaning forward and starting to bite and pull at the button up top. 

It took him a while, and he felt Robert’s cock getting even harder underneath the fabric as he worked on it, but he managed to open the button after a while. He sat back a little to take some breaths, looking up at the other man for a moment. Robert’s cheeks were flushed and his eyes were dark, he was breathing more heavily already. It gave Jimmy a certain feeling of control over him that he usually enjoyed so much, but right now, it felt... wrong. 

The feeling was immediately chased away by Robert roughly forcing his head back towards his crotch, though, reminding him who was really in control right now. He used his tongue to lift the pull of the zipper, then used his teeth to pull it down, opening the jeans and immediately nuzzling into the slit, already knowing Robert wasn’t going to be wearing underwear anyway. 

He bit the fabric of the jeans again to pull it down a little more, first one side, then the other, finally freeing Robert’s cock. He took a moment to look at his lover before starting to kiss and lick at it, marvelling once more at just how big it was. He vividly remembered both the pain and the pleasure it had given him when he’d surprised the other man by slowly sinking down on it while he had been blindfolded. It had felt as if it was going to tear him apart, at first, but once he got used to it, it had been good, so good. 

He teased the singer with light kisses and licks for a while until the other lost his patience. He felt Robert’s hands tangle in his hair once more, roughly pulling his head back. Jimmy winced at the sudden pain. 

“Enough! I said... suck my cock.” He growled. ”Open your mouth.” Jimmy didn’t immediately obey, feeling a little rebellious. Instead, he licked of Robert’s cock again, teasingly flicking his tongue repeatedly across the slit at the tip, never breaking eye contact. The singer moaned, then growled again, frowning down at him. “I told you... to open your mouth!” The hand in his hair tightened while Robert’s other hand moved to his jaw, forcing it open. 

He immediately pushed his cock into Jimmy’s mouth, way too far, making the brunette gag and choke on it. He knew he was being punished for disobeying, so he took it, even as his eyes watered. Robert fucked his mouth for a few moments, continuing to make him gag and choke, before he slowly eased up on him, pulling out to let the brunette breathe. Jimmy took a few gasping breaths, then took Robert’s cock back into mouth, just enough to where it was comfortable, and started sucking, hollowing his cheeks and swirling his tongue to the best of his abilities. 

He watched Robert’s head fall back, slack-jawed as he moaned and sighed, slowly thrusting his hips a little. It didn’t take very long until he came in Jimmy’s mouth, moaning his name. The brunette swallowed as best as he could and when Robert pulled back, he was breathing just as hard as the singer himself. He watched the other tuck himself back into his jeans and close them again before turning back towards him. He reached down to gently caress Jimmy’s cheek.

“You’re so fucking good at that, do you know that?” He asked and Jimmy felt himself blush. “You could be a little more obedient so I wouldn’t have to punish you, though... but I think we’ll get there.” Robert grinned, sliding his hand down from his cheek to cup his jaw. He pulled and Jimmy had to scramble to get to his feet, almost losing his balance. Robert steadied him and kissed him. 

“Now, be good and kneel on the bed, facing me.” Robert said and this time, Jimmy knew better than to disobey. He went to the bed and slowly crawled on it, which wasn’t all that easy with his hands still tied behind his back. He kneeled and wriggled around a little until he was turned around to face Robert, then wriggled a little more to get comfortable. He folded his legs underneath himself, sitting down.

The singer watched him for a moment, then nodded as if approving of the position Jimmy had gotten into. Again, Robert slowly moved towards him, making him feel like prey. It send another shiver of excitement through his body as he looked up at the blonde who was now standing right in front of him, towering above him even more now than Jimmy was sitting on his legs rather than kneeling up.

“You’re so beautiful like this, baby...” His lover cooed gently and caressed his face again, then ran his hands down Jimmy’s bound arms, emphasizing what exactly he meant. Jimmy felt himself smile up at the other man. He felt strangely happy and at peace at that very moment, despite how excited and aroused he was. “Shall we satisfy your curiosity about what else I’ve got in that box, hm?” Robert then asked. Jimmy nodded eagerly.

“Please.” He whispered, his eyes darting to the parcel on the floor, then back to the blonde’s face. 

“Did you know that you have the most sensitive nipples I’ve ever had the pleasure of playing with?” Robert asked, running his hands back up his arms, then down his sides, and back up his front. He teasingly tickled first the left, then his right nipple, sending two jolts of pleasure through his body. Of course Jimmy knew. He’d been terribly self-conscious about it ever since Robert had discovered that little fact. 

His nipples were pinched and rolled between the other man’s fingertips, making him sigh and moan. It felt like there was a direct connection between his chest and his groin, it was almost ridiculous, he wasn’t a girl. Robert then left him alone for a moment to get something out of the box. 

Jimmy had a slightly better view from this angle and he saw that there were several more items in there, although he couldn’t quite make out what they were. He definitely spotted more chains in the box, and he thought he saw something that, maybe, looked like another stethoscope. Had Robert gotten his own? He’d like that. 

The vocalist pulled something out of the box that mostly consisted of a chain and several... where those wires? They definitely were wires, and they were connected to a little black box with several buttons. Jimmy’s eyes widened and he swallowed nervously. Robert came back to the bed and put the black box on it, next to Jimmy’s legs. 

The brunette nervously looked at everything the blonde was carrying. The wires ended in two clamps that were connected with a little silver chain, much like his cuffs. He couldn’t help himself, he made a strangled little sound when he realized what exactly this was and looked up at Robert with wide eyes. 

“Hmmhm, you know what this is, don’t you?” Robert grinned. “I told you I’m going to have so much fun with you tonight.” He added and teased Jimmy’s nipples again, earning himself another little gasp. 

He looked back down at the little black box with its buttons and a little dial. He could tell it was only powered by batteries, albeit large ones, so it wouldn’t be strong enough to cause him any harm, but he was still terribly nervous about what it’s going to feel like. 

Due to his fiddling with his guitars, rewiring them and all that, he knew just enough about electronics and circuits to know how Robert had made this, and quite frankly, he was impressed. He knew Robert was smart, he knew he was skilled with his hands, he’d worked in road construction for a while after all, but Jimmy was still impressed by this.

He watched Robert pick up one of the clamps and open it. They were rubber-coated for his safety and comfort. He bit his lip as his right nipple was pinched again until it was a hard little nub and a startled little sound escaped his lips as the clamp was attached. The pressure it put was strong and it hurt, but it gave way to a strange feeling of pleasure after a few seconds. Robert adjusted it a little so the bare wire rested right against the most sensitive peak of his nipple. 

Jimmy was panting by the time his left nipple had gotten the same treatment, both from the physical stimulation as well as the excitement this brought. He looked back up at his lover and the other man seemed pleased, he was gently caressing his sides.

“I wonder... I wonder what this is going to do to your heart.” Robert whispered and Jimmy felt his cock throb in response. “It’s pounding so fast and strong already...” He gently rested his hand on Jimmy’s chest. “What is is going to do if I switch this on?” He asked and Jimmy closed his eyes at the surge of adrenalin that gave him, letting his chin drop to his chest and his hair hide his face. He could barely take the anticipation anymore and Robert was drawing it out so much.

“No, no, don’t hide from me...” Robert cooed and forced his head back up. “I want to see you.” He leaned down to kiss him again and Jimmy gasped into the kiss as Robert pulled at the chain that was connecting the clamps a little. He then left again, going back to the box and pulling out what was indeed a brand new stethoscope. 

“You got your own...” Jimmy whispered, nervously chewing his lower lip. 

“Hmhm, I did... Just think of all the possibilities that gives us.” Robert grinned, coming back to stand in front of Jimmy again. He leaned down and kissed his neck, right behind his ear, making him shiver. “We could both... listen to each other... at the same time.” He whispered in between little kisses, then straightened again and put the earpieces in. “Not today, though.” He finished and placed the diaphragm on Jimmy’s chest. 

He physically felt the surge of adrenalin through his veins at that, making his heart pound even harder and faster than it already had been. He averted his gaze again, embarrassed and self-conscious. 

“No, look at me...” Robert told him, so he did, feeling his face heat up, blushing even more. His lover seemed very pleased with the effect he had on him. “God, you’re already so, so excited, baby...” He sighed and reached out with his free hand to tug at the chain a little again, making Jimmy hiss at the mix of pain and pleasure. “This isn’t even everything I have planned for tonight, you know? There’s so much more to come.”

Jimmy whimpered pitifully. He thought HE was the kinky, creative one in the bedroom, but it seemed like he’s found his match, or more than that, in Robert. He wondered if he’d bitten of more than he could chew. He definitely got more than he bargained for. He felt Robert remove the stethoscope from his chest and put it aside.

“Why don’t you look up... look at the ceiling.” Robert prompted, and Jimmy did, confused. He frowned, then gasped as he saw two strong, thick hooks screwed into the ceiling right above the bed where he was sitting.

“Oh God, Robert...” He said, blinking at the other man in surprise. He wasn’t sure why dangling from the ceiling was so much more kinky than simply being tied to the bed, but it absolutely was. Maybe because it left him even more open, exposed and vulnerable. He didn’t even understand WHEN Robert had installed those. 

He watched, nervous, almost terrified, as Robert took a longer chain out of the box. He stepped on the frame of the bed to weave it into the hooks. Jimmy watched it dangle in front of his face and swallowed thickly. 

Robert reached around him to open one of the cuffs so Jimmy would be able to move.

“Raise your arms above your head.” He instructed and Jimmy did, wincing at the way the chain between the clamps moved as he did, pulling at his sensitive nipples. Robert fastened the little chain between the cuffs to the chain dangling from the ceiling, then he fastened the cuff around Jimmy’s wrist again and adjusted the length of the longer chain so it wouldn’t be too long. 

“Hm... yes. Now I’ve got you where I want you.” Robert grinned, trailing a finger down the center of Jimmy’s chest until it got caught at the chain. He toyed with it a little until Jimmy was panting again. “Shall we see what this feels like?” He asked, nodding towards the little black box on the bed. Jimmy whimpered again. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Robert said and moved the box a little behind Jimmy, so he wouldn’t be able to see what Robert was doing it, how high he’d set it or when he’d switch it on. 

The anticipation made Jimmy wriggle on the bed nervously, clutching at the chains. He heard Robert chuckle softly and followed the blonde’s gaze to the little chain dangling between his nipples. It was jiggling ever so slightly with the force of his heartbeat. 

“Stop wriggling, baby...” Robert said. “I don’t want to have to punish you again. Stay still.” He growled and Jimmy stopped moving immediately, but he was still breathing way more quickly than he should have been. He heard a soft ‘click’ and felt a strange, tingling sensation at his nipples that made him arch his back and moan. 

“Fuck... oh...” He gasped, holding on to the chains tightly. It was slowly building in intensity. “Ah... fuck, Robert... it’s so... good.” He moaned and the blonde grinned.

“I knew you’d like it.” He said, then moved to switch it off again. Jimmy slumped forward a little, grateful for the chains holding him up. He was panting harshly. Robert didn’t let him breathe for long, though. 

He fiddled with the dial a little, then Jimmy heard the tell-tale ‘click’ again. This time, his whole body jerked violently and he cried out loudly. The muscles in his chest, his arms, even his belly started spasming uncontrollably and searing, almost unbearable pain shot through his nipples. He couldn’t breathe. 

Robert must have turned the voltage up quite a bit. He switched it off after just a few seconds and Jimmy couldn’t sit up anymore, his muscles wouldn’t obey him, he slumped forward, only the cuffs around his wrists holding him upright, more or less. It took him a moment before he managed to draw a shaky breath. 

He saw Robert pick up the stethoscope again and he wanted to sit up to let him listen, but he just couldn’t do it, his muscles felt like jelly. He was dimly aware of his heart fluttering weakly inside his chest as Robert placed the diaphragm on him again. When he raised his head a little, he saw Robert looking at his watch. 

“About... 203. Wow.” He said and Jimmy bit his lip, closing his eyes. He didn’t even know why it turned him on so much to know his heart rate, but it did. It also gave him an idea that he stored away for future reference, hoping he’d remember once Robert was done with him. “It sounds so different now... weaker and... way too fast.” He waited for it to slow down and beat a little more normally again before putting the stethoscope away again. 

“We have to do something about this.” He then said, teasingly tapping his finger against the leaking tip of Jimmy’s cock. The brunette gasped and bucked his hips which earned him a rough tug at the chain between his nipples. “I didn’t think I’d have to, but it seems like I do.” He went back to the box again, pulling some other things out. 

“I didn’t think this would turn you on so much, but you’re enjoying this so much, aren’t you?” he asked as he came back.

“Yes. So are you, though.” Jimmy answered, looking at the obvious bulge in Robert’s jeans pointedly. His eyes then wandered to what Robert was holding in his hands and a startled little noise left his throat. “Oh fuck, Robert, no... please, no.” He gasped when he saw the adjustable metal rings and leather straps. 

“Oh yes. I can’t have you coming all over yourself before you’ve really earned it, now, can I?” He said, shaking his head. 

“N-no, please Robert, I promise I’ll be good, I won’t come, I’ll hold back, please...” Jimmy stammered, trying to move away. That was a mistake. 

Robert grabbed the chain dangling between his nipples and roughly janked at it. Jimmy screamed in pain as the clamps were torn off of him and sobbed, tears shooting into his eyes. He slouched down again, letting the chains hold him up instead. 

“Behave, or I’ll do that again.” Robert warned him. “And if that’s not enough, you’ll get a full 20 seconds of electricity.” He added and Jimmy sobbed again. He knew he wouldn’t be able to take that, so he nodded and sat up a little so Robert could reach him. He didn’t dare to look up. 

Robert was completely different than he’d anticipated, a lot more cruel and sadistic and Jimmy was slightly terrified by the fact that he enjoyed it. He hadn’t really cried since he was a child, and now the tears just... came. Robert had made him cry twice in just a month, albeit for completely different reasons. He wasn’t even sad or angry, he just felt so raw and emotional and he needed an outlet. The whole situation completely messed with his mind. Robert reached out and gently cupped his cheek, wiping away some tears.

“Shh... it’s going to be fine, I promise... if you’re good, I’ll make you feel so, so good, I promise.” He cooed soothingly. “Would you rather stop?” He then asked, obviously a little worried by Jimmy’s sudden emotional outburst. The brunette shook his head quickly, sending his dark locks flying. “Words, Jimmy. Tell me.” Robert urged. 

“No, I don’t want to stop. Please, I want this.” He said, looking up at Robert. He’d be ashamed at the way he was acting, but he’s seen it in other people before, he knew it was a normal reaction to being in this situation, so he wasn’t, not really. Robert smiled at him and leaned down to kiss him, very gently and lovingly this time. Jimmy was grateful for the affection and basked in it for a moment. 

“Now, will you let me do this?” Robert asked then and Jimmy nodded, sitting up on his knees again to offer himself to the other man willingly. “Very good... good boy.” Robert cooed, a smirk on his face at getting to call the older man that. 

He was still rock hard, that hadn’t changed, and another little sob was forced from his lips when both his cock and balls were forced through a tight metal ring which was tightened even more and then secured by tying a leather strap around him as well and another ring was forced on his cock. It only made him even harder, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to come now, no matter what Robert did, short of taken the rings and leather off of him. 

The nipple clamps were put back on as well and Robert took a step back to admire his handiwork. 

“Wow, you look amazing like this... if only I could take a picture of you right now.” Robert sighed and Jimmy’s eyes shot up to Robert’s in panic. The blonde laughed. “Don’t worry, baby... I’d never do that... what if those pictures leaked...? What would people think, seeing you like this? Now that wouldn’t do. I wouldn’t want anybody but me to see you like this... you’re all mine, this is only for my eyes to see.” He purred and Jimmy breathed a sigh of relief. He smiled slightly at Robert’s possessiveness. 

“Turn around and spread your legs.” Roberts then instructed and Jimmy looked up at the chains above him. They’d allow him to move enough to turn around on the bed, so he slowly shuffled around to turn his back to Robert and slowly slid his knees apart, blushing at how exposed he was now. He heard the sound of fabric rubbing against fabric and assumed Robert was undressing, finally. His suspicion was confirmed when he felt Robert’s naked chest against his back and his erection between his thighs. He shivered in anticipation and excitement and leaned back against the other’s chest, resting his head back against his shoulder. 

Robert hummed in appreciation and kissed his neck, then the pulse point in his throat, making him sigh happily. Jimmy then heard the little ‘click’ again and almost jumped, but it was set to the lowest setting, causing a pleasant tingling instead of unbearable pain this time. He moaned and relaxed back against Robert again. His cock throbbed in its confines. 

The vocalist wrapped his arms tightly around his torso, caressing him while sucking little hickeys on his neck. When he switched the electricity off again, Jimmy was a moaning, trembling mess in his arms. He felt Robert move back a little and fumble with something. His breath hitched as he felt a slick finger against his backside. He tensed a little, he’s only ever done that to himself, he’s never had anybody else prepare him.

“Relax, baby.” Robert whispered, kissing his shoulder and he forced himself to relax, taking a deep breath. He felt the finger enter him and sighed. In his current state of arousal, almost anything felt incredibly good and he let his head fall back on Robert’s shoulder again. “Yeah, see, just like that...” Robert encouraged him. He soon added a second finger and started moving them, in and out, slowly, then more quickly. 

Jimmy cried out when they hit that spot inside him and Robert chuckled, crooking his fingers to rub it, hard. The brunette pushed back against his hand eagerly, panting. He quickly withdrew his fingers a little, only to plunge back in with a third one, making the guitarist cry out again. He started stretching him carefully, obviously aware of his own size. 

Once Robert judged him ready, he replaced his fingers with the tip of his cock and slowly pushed in. Jimmy held his breath and bit his lip, clutching at the chains again, needing something to hold onto. 

“Fuck... you’re so... goddamn huge...” He cursed and heard Robert chuckle in between breathy moans behind him.

“Well... sorry... not like I can... ah... help it.” He panted, then entered him all the way in one smooth thrust. Jimmy cursed again, but pushed back anyway, wanting to feel Robert against that special spot again. “Patience, baby... give it a moment.” Robert whispered and caress his hips. Robert started thrusting after a while, changing his angle until Jimmy was crying out with every thrust. 

He almost lost his mind when he heard that damned ‘click’ again and it was much stronger this time, just on the verge of being too painful but still giving him pleasure as well. His muscles spasmed again and he bucked against Robert wildly until the blonde held him still. 

“Please Robert, please... I need... I want... please, wanna come, please...” He babbled mindlessly, still trying to buck his hips against the other man. 

“You will, don’t you worry...” Robert purred. “But not yet.” He said and switched the electricity off again. A broken little sob left Jimmy’s lips and he stopped trying to wriggle and thrust, letting the chains take his weight again, defeated.

Robert wasn’t having any of it and wrapped an arm around his chest, pulling him back up against himself. He started thrusting again and his hand slowly crept up Jimmy’s chest to his throat, wrapping around it slowly and starting to press down on the left side. 

“Yellow!” Jimmy gasped and Robert’s hold on his throat immediately loosened. Instead, he gently caressed the erratic pulse he felt there with his thumb. “Do you know what you’re doing?” The brunette asked. He’d been curious about this, but he’d never dared to try it, he knew it could be dangerous. 

“Yes. I know what I’m doing and, more importantly, I know what not to do. Trust me. I’ll keep an eye on your hands up there for a sign, too, alright?” Robert whispered and kissed his neck gently. Jimmy relaxed a little, it was true, Robert had been careful to only restrict the blood flow on one side of his neck as to not deprive his brain of oxygen completely, just a little, just enough to make him feel a little high. He nodded.

“Alright... carry on.” He gave his consent, circling his hips a little and pushing back to make the other man move again. Robert did, with a little half sigh, half moan. He didn’t immediately start restricting the blood flow again, he waited a little, just feeling his pulse for a while as he lazily thrust into him. 

His other arm wrapped around his chest, just under his nipples, and pulled him back against Robert’s chest tightly. He tightened his hold even more, to the point where it almost hurt and Jimmy had to take only very shallow little breaths. That’s when he started pressing down on his throat again and it didn’t take long at all for Jimmy to feel very lightheaded. 

He moaned as he felt it happening, it made everything else feel more intense, pleasure blooming in his entire body. He felt like he was flying, he felt high and it felt amazing. 

The hand around his neck left to wrap around his bound cock instead, while the arm around his chest tightened a little more, barely letting him breathe at all by now. Robert started thrusting harder into him and his hand started jerking him roughly, but Jimmy knew he wouldn’t come with his balls bound like this. 

He wanted to beg and to plead for Robert to take it off, but he didn’t have enough breath to do so, only little mewls and whimpers left his mouth. 

“When I let you breathe again... you will come. You’ll see.” Robert panted in his ear. It barely registered with Jimmy’s sluggish brain as his head lolled back against Robert’s shoulder again. The other man started jerking him off even harder, then released his hold on his chest. 

Jimmy took in huge gulps of air right away, greedily, and moaned at the feeling that filled his body, complete and utter euphoria overtook him and he bucked wildly against Robert’s hand. 

It felt like he was coming, but he didn’t ejaculate and it didn’t stop, either, it just kept growing, getting stronger and stronger with every second, like one insanely long climax. He cried out loudly as Robert switched the electricity on once more, then reached down to untie the leather strap, then he opened and pulled off the metal rings. 

Jimmy sobbed and cried out once more as he orgasmed again and finally ejaculated, it felt like he blacked out for a second, but Robert held him, fucking him hard by now until he came inside him as well, biting down on his shoulder hard. 

They stayed like that for a moment, Jimmy only held by the chains and Robert’s arm around him, a total ragdoll in Robert’s embrace. Every bit of muscle tension had left his body, he couldn’t move, let alone think, until Robert had the mind to reach down and switch off the device completely and remove the nipple clamps. 

He carefully pulled out and reached up to open the cuffs around Jimmy’s wrists, gathering the skinnier man in his arms. He was still completely limp, unable to do anything, letting Robert arrange him in his arms carefully. 

“Are you ok, baby?” Robert asked gently, removing some of the hair that was sticking to Jimmy’s sweaty face, then caressed his cheek softly. 

Jimmy didn’t manage a single word, all that left his lips was something between a grunt and a moan. Robert laughed.

“Oh dear... I literally fucked your brains out, huh?” He chuckled and kissed his brow gently. It took quite a few minutes for Jimmy to find his voice again.

“How... how did you know... how to do this?” He asked, finally opening his eyes to look up at Robert, who smirked.

“I read.” He said simply and Jimmy couldn’t help himself, he laughed out loud.

“And they say you can’t learn how to be good in bed by reading books.” He said, shaking his head. 

“So it was good, huh?” Robert asked. 

“You have no idea.” Jimmy said, closing his eyes again. His body still felt different, he still felt like he was floating and like there wasn’t a single bone in his body. “I mean... I just... I just came twice. Can you even imagine what that feels like? I couldn’t, until just now.” He said. He knew it was almost impossible for men to achieve that, so he was even more blown away. Robert smiled to himself, pleased. 

“We need to wash, we’re filthy.” He said. Jimmy shook his head.

“Can’t move. No bones.” He said, making Robert laugh again. It was true, though, they were sweaty, he had tears, come, blood and other things he didn’t even want to think about on him, but he just couldn’t bring himself to move. 

“Then I’ll just have to carry you.” Robert shrugged and got up, much to Jimmy’s dismay. He picked the guitarist up with ease and carried him to the bathroom. “If I put you down, can you stand?” He asked and Jimmy shrugged.

“I’ll try.” He said. Robert put him on his feet gently. He wobbled as he stood, but he had to hold on to the other man for balance. 

“See, there you go.” Robert cooed, then reached out to start the water. When it was warm enough, he pulled the skinnier man under the spray and started washing them both while Jimmy just leaned against him. 

Once they were both clean, Jimmy was wrapped in a soft towel and carried back to bed. Robert curled up around him and pulled him close, caressing him gently. 

“You... you’re officially a sex god, Mr. Plant.” Jimmy said sleepily and Robert laughed. 

“And you’re out of your mind.” He said and kissed him gently. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” The guitarist answered, snuggling against the blonde’s chest. He looked down his own body and grinned. “I love those.” He said pointing at the finger-shaped bruises on his hips. Robert grinned and put his hand there, matching each little bruise to the corresponding finger.

“So do I, my love...” He whispered. Jimmy smiled to himself and closed his eyes. He was beyond exhausted, he didn’t even have the energy to think about what just happened and slept away almost immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought of the chapter! Thank you! <3


	5. Tell me what you'd do to my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy and Robert have a little talk the morning after. Jimmy wants Robert to tell him what he'd do to his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, our boys have some more ideas...

He was sore the next morning when he woke up, still wrapped in Robert’s protective embrace. Sore, but pleasantly so, and he was warm and comfortable, so he smiled to himself and stretched lazily, like a big cat. He heard Robert chuckle softly and opened his eyes to look up at his lover.

“Morning.” He said and cringed. His usually so soft voice sounded rough. 

“Good morning, love. How do you feel?” The blonde asked, brushing some stray curls out of Jimmy’s face. 

“Sore... really, really sore. But... in a good way? I don’t know.” Jimmy said, snuggling against the warm body next to his again. “Even my arms hurt. Why do my arms hurt?” He wondered. 

“Hm, being tied up like that, probably... or maybe the spasms from the electricity?” Robert offered, starting to gently rub and massage Jimmy’s shoulders and arms, as much as he could in this position. “Is it bad? Do you regret it?” He then asked and Jimmy laughed.

“Do I regret the best sex I’ve ever had? You’re funny.” He said, rubbing his cheek against Robert’s chest lazily. “Don’t stop, that feels... so good.” He sighed, so the blonde kept massaging him gently, carefully. 

“Does anything else hurt?” Robert asked after a while. Jimmy grinned.

“Yes, but you can’t massage that.” He said cheekily and Robert laughed. “You’re not getting near my ass for at least a week.” The guitarist said and wriggled a little under the blanket. “Ow... make that two weeks.”

“It’s really not my fault that you’re so tight and small... or that I’m so big.” Robert pouted, skimming his hands down Jimmy’s back to squeeze his butt. The brunette cursed.

“It may not be your fault... but I still need some time to recover.” He said, looking up at the other man. They both broke into wide smiles and kissed. “Seriously, Robert... I don’t regret a single thing we did... although...” He glanced at the equipment they had hastily tossed off of the bed, onto the floor next to it. 

“Although?” Robert prompted. 

“That was... really dangerous, you know.” He whispered, pressing his body even closer to the other man. “Do you know how high the risk of cardiac arrest is during breathplay? That, plus the electricity so close to my heart...” He let go of a breath he’d been holding and looked up at the other man. 

“I was so, so careful... I was taking care of you.” Robert whispered, but Jimmy saw the shock in his eyes. 

“Would you have known what to do? Would you have known the signs?” He asked. “I’m fine... and I still trust you, but... this could have gone wrong.” He felt the other man tighten his hold on his and bury his face in the dark mane. 

“I’d never hurt you. I just want to make you feel good... I knew exactly how far to go, I made sure to let you breathe just enough...” He whispered. 

“I know, I know... that’s why I let you, I felt safe.” Jimmy smiled, playing with some of the golden curls next to his face. 

“You know... I wanted to use the steth so much more, but... I just couldn’t.” Robert admitted. “I so wanted to hear it while I was restricting your breathing, but... I knew I’d just... I knew I’d come inside you if I did, so I didn’t do it. Hearing what the electricity did to it was almost too much already.” He said and Jimmy grinned.

“Well, we’ll have to do this again, then, sometime, so you’ll get to hear it while you choke me.” He whispered and Robert groaned. “You know, it’s almost strange... this turns you on so, so much, yet you never thought about it before I introduced you to it?” 

“I didn’t let myself... I always had those thoughts, but I thought it was all wrong and weird and bad, so I never let myself think about those things...” He admitted, glancing at his lover. 

“Aww, baby... it’s alright. There’s nothing wrong about it, it’s perfectly fine... especially if those fantasies involve me.” He grinned and kissed the blonde. 

“They do... god, they so do... you’re all I ever wanted, you’re everything I could wish for...” Robert answered and kissed him back. “You’re so gorgeous, so crazy and so kinky and all mine...”

“Did you enjoy this more than being submissive?” Jimmy then asked. Robert thought about it for a moment. 

“Would you be disappointed if I did?” He asked in turn, almost not daring to look at the other man. 

“I wouldn’t say disappointed...” Jimmy answered. “I’m surprised by how much I enjoyed being in that position, being treated that way... giving every ounce of control to you... it was so exciting and at the same time, it just felt... right. Like it was supposed to be that way. It gave me a feeling of peace, it was really strange...” 

“I feel like that, too, when you take control. It feels great, doesn’t it?” Robert admitted. “I guess we just... take turns? Depending on what we feel like?” 

“Hm... what if we both feel dominant at the same time? We’re gonna fight and you’re gonna win. What if we both feel submissive at the same time? Nothing’s gonna happen.” He laughed. 

“Well... we just have to be honest and talk, like you’ve taught me.” Robert suggested. “I’m sure we can work it out.” 

“Yes... we will.” Jimmy smiled. “I think I might want you in charge for a while, now...” He whispered, biting his lip. “You were so, so hot... you know what I liked?” 

“Hm? Judging by your reactions, everything?” Robert grinned and Jimmy swatted at his arm playfully. 

“Jerk. Do you know what I liked *best*?” He specified. 

“Let me think... the nipple clamps?” Robert guessed. Jimmy shook his head.

“I mean... I love those, but... what I liked best...” He leaned in a little closer, kissing up Robert’s neck to that spot behind his ear that made him shiver. “When you listened to my heart and then you told me how fast it was.” He whispered. “When you told me how high you got my heart rate, that turned me on so much.”

“Yeah? I can do that again, you know...” Robert purred back, pulling the smaller man closer. Jimmy felt his hard length against his belly and grinned. He knew a conversation like this wouldn’t leave either of them unaffected.

“Hm, I have a better idea... I want...” He wriggled a bit so he could rub against his lover in turn and sighed when Robert slid his hands all along his body gently. “I want you to hook me up to a heart rate monitor... tie me up if you want to... then you can do whatever you want to me, see how high you can get it.”

Robert moaned and pulled Jimmy even closer, starting to thrust his hips against the other man, kissing his neck. 

“Fuck... we have... we have to get one of those, yes... that would be... fuck.” He gasped, reaching down between them to grab and stroke them both. 

“Tell me... what would you do? Tell me what you’d do to me.” Jimmy moaned, bucking his hips. 

“I would... I will... I’ll tie you up, nice and tight, so you can’t move or struggle...” Robert started, stroking them in a slow, maddening rhythm. “Then I’ll touch you... everywhere but your cock... with my hands, with my tongue... or something else, with anything I can think of... until you’re moaning and trembling and begging me to touch you *here*.” He finished, giving them both a squeeze. 

Jimmy couldn’t help himself, he moaned and thrust up into Robert’s fist. 

“Fuck, yes... and then?” He prompted, feverishly clawing at his lover’s back.

“I’d keep an eye on the monitor at all times... making sure you can see it, too... then I’d try and push your little heart as much as possible, see how fast I can get it... how long it can keep it up... how many times I can push it over 200 beats per minute.” He panted. “I’d make it work so hard for me, make it struggle until it can’t keep up anymore...” 

The brunette closed his eyes and buried his face in the crook of Robert’s neck. He was already so painfully aroused and on the verge of coming.

“I’d just... keep going, I’d keep it over 200, until you’re ready to pass out and then I’d let you come, just to... see it go even higher.” Robert said, stroking them faster now. Jimmy made a strangled little noise as he came, scratching the other man’s back. A few more strokes and squeezes and Robert came as well. 

“Oh my god... we have to do that... we just have to.” Jimmy whispered, feeling his heart still slamming almost painfully against his ribs, very aware that Robert could feel it, too. 

“Agreed.” Robert panted, caressing his back soothingly with his free hand. “But how? How’d we get our hands on a heart rate monitor?” 

“Hm, I have an idea... leave it to me.” Jimmy smiled, snuggling against Robert’s chest to listen to his heart slow down, slowly. The blonde softly caressed his hair, turning to lie on his back. He pulled Jimmy along so the brunette was on top of him. 

“What a way to start the day...” He grinned, crossing his arms behind his head. 

“Perfect, if you ask me.” Jimmy said, softly caressing his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I initially wanted Robert hooked up to that heart rate monitor, but since I got quite a few comments saying they really like sub!Jimmy... we'll keep it that way for a little longer. Robert might still end up hooked up to it, too, though :P


	6. Back together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Led Zeppelin is touring again, Jimmy and Robert have to stay away from each other and it's torture. How wonderful it's going to be once they're finally back together, though.

The next part of their tour was pure torture for Jimmy, at least the time that wasn’t spent on stage, playing. He still loved that more than anything, of course. But the time in between shows? It was difficult. He had to stay away from his lover, he had to watch his own body language around him so he wouldn’t give anything away, he yearned for the other man’s touch and there was nothing he could do to get it. He didn’t want to risk any more people finding out about them. 

They didn’t even dare to sneak into each other’s hotel rooms, there were always so many people in the corridors, girls waiting for them, drunk roadies, hotel staff.

He started having trouble sleeping with the girls that swarmed him after every show, no matter how pretty they were, no matter how talented they were with their mouth, no matter what they let him to do them, it just wasn’t what he wanted in the slightest. 

At some point, he had to ask a girl to leave, politely explaining that it wasn’t her fault, that he just didn’t feel well and that she’d better leave and find someone else for the night. She had been incredibly disappointed, asking him if there was anything she could do to make him feel better, starting to palm him through his trousers and finding him completely limp and uninterested. 

He had apologized again, gently removing her small, delicate hand from his crotch and pushing her away a little, ashamed that he hadn’t managed to get it up for her.

“I’m sorry, darling, I feel awful, I think I may be getting sick... I’m so sorry.” He had lied to her and called her a taxi to get her back home safely, paying for her ride in advance. As soon as she was sitting in the car, he rushed back up to his room and fell face first onto the bed, groaning in frustration. 

He craved Robert’s touch, he needed to feel the other man’s body against his own, he wanted to feel his hard cock rubbing against his belly insistently, he yearned to be pushed against the wall for the other man to have his way with him. 

He hated how he had to pretend to be someone he’s not with those girls, he hated how he couldn’t be himself and how he couldn’t let go and relax with them. He always had to keep his guard up, to hide ever emotion he may have, positive or negative, and it was so tiring. 

He longed to be with Robert, where he could just let his guard down, where he could be himself and feel free. He wanted to be in his lover’s arms and just be allowed to... feel. 

With Robert, he was able to be honest without feeling ashamed, he wanted him to know exactly what he felt, he wanted him to read him like an open book. He wanted to feel safe and loved. Only with the singer did he feel free enough to let go, to let other sides of his personality come through, to be completely vulnerable and still feel completely safe. 

He wanted to give up control and let someone else take over, but not just anyone. It had to be Robert, he’d never trust anybody else enough (nor did he want anybody else). He needed to feel that muscular body, he wanted those strong arms wrapped around him. The blonde had awoken something in him he didn’t know had been sleeping inside him and he hardly knew how to deal with it. He’d only gotten to taste it that one time, and had longed for it ever since.

He groaned again and hid his face in his pillow. It’s been three weeks already, only one more to go, he thought to himself, then you’ll be back with him. Their relationship was a very physical one, of course, so four weeks with a few hugs before or after concerts being the only physical contact were incredibly hard to bear. 

He turned on his back and stared up at the ugly ceiling fan, wondering how he’s going to make it through another week. Reaching for the drawer of his bedside table, he pulled out a little jar with sleeping pills and took three of them, knowing that what he was doing wasn’t healthy, but he didn’t know how to deal with this, he was awfully tense and riled up and nothing else would help.

They knocked him out soon enough, allowing him to rest until noon the next day, when he was woken up none too gently by Richard. They had another plane to catch. His head was pounding and he felt queasy, but there was nothing he could do about it, so he forced himself to get up and at least take a shower. 

He got to sit next to Robert in the car that took them to the airport and he took full advantage of that fact, letting his leg rest against the blonde’s for the duration of the ride. It helped, calming his nerves just a little. Robert gave him a knowing smile and Jimmy knew that the blonde missed him, too. 

He got through the next week of touring with the help of sleeping pills and his friend Jack Daniel’s as well as other drugs, by lingering in the hugs they shared before going on stage a little longer than with the other two and by counting the hours until they’d be back home in England. He felt himself get more and more tense with every day and nothing he did gave him any kind of relief or relaxation.

When the time had finally come, Jimmy was giddy with excitement and happiness, much to Peter Grant’s confusion who wouldn’t understand why his musicians were happier that the tour was over than when it began. 

The guitarist was the first to arrive at the boathouse, they had agreed that Robert should join him later, after the sun had set, to avoid being seen. When he vocalist finally arrived as well, Jimmy wasted no time and threw himself into his boyfriend’s arms right away, laughing happily, completely giddy with excitement. It was the first time in a week when he didn’t have any alcohol or any other drug in his system and he felt high anyway when their lips finally met in a desperate kiss. 

“Fuck, I missed you so much, I don’t know if I can do this again.” Jimmy whispered against Robert’s lips after they’d been kissing for a while. “I thought I was going crazy, I didn’t know what to do with myself, I felt so awful and I was so, so tense and nothing helped, nothing...” He babbled, unable to stop himself.

“Shhh, it’s alright, I’m here now, I’ve got you...” Robert whispered back, holding him tight. “You’re still tense as a bowstring... fucking hell...” He added worriedly, running his hands up and down Jimmy’s back. “Relax, baby... it’s over now, we’re here now, together.”

“I need you...” Jimmy said helplessly and buried his face in the crook of Robert’s neck, inhaling the other’s scent, feeling his skin underneath his lips, the strong, muscular body against his own. Gradually, some of the tension left his body, finally allowing his aching muscles to relax.

“I need you, too, baby... I was so worried about you, I could tell you weren’t doing well, but I didn’t know what to do...” He sighed. “Did you really feel that bad just because of me?” 

“Not because of you. Because I couldn’t be close to you. Because...” He trailed off and looked down. “Something’s wrong with me, Robert.” He whispered. 

The blonde studied him for a moment, brushing some hair out of his face, waiting for him to go on, and when he didn’t, he sighed and gently maneuvered them over to the sofa to sit down. Jimmy immediately climbed into his lap and glued his body to the taller man’s. 

“Alright, talk to me. You need to tell me what’s wrong, baby.” Robert prompted gently, rubbing his back soothingly. Jimmy shook his head. He didn’t want to talk, he didn’t know how to tell his lover what he was feeling. He wasn’t good at this. But if he didn’t at least try, he’d never feel better.

“I don’t know... I just... I need you so much and it’s getting out of hand.” He whispered, hiding his face in the big, golden mane. “That one night... I was with the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen... she was so beautiful, she was sweet and nice, she smelled so nice, she wanted me so much, she was so wet for me and I... I couldn’t even get it up for her.” He admitted. “I pretended to be sick and I asked her to leave.” 

“Oh baby... it’s alright... it happens...” Robert tried to soothe him. 

“Not to me! That never happened to me before! I didn’t have a problem with that during our last tour.” Jimmy said, upset. “It’s just that... those girls aren’t what I want, at all... it’s like... they’re the polar opposite of what I really want, so much so that it turns me off. Ever since you showed me what sex can be like... if you really let go and trust someone... You made me feel all those things and I... I don’t want to pretend anymore. I just want to be who I really am... and I can only do that... with you.” 

Robert was silent for a while and Jimmy feared he said something wrong, but when he pulled back to look at the blonde, the other had such a look of love and adoration on his face that he was immediately reassured. 

“I know this might be an awful thing to say, but a part of me absolutely loves that you feel that way.” He admitted, smiling and caressing Jimmy’s cheek. “I mean, I don’t want you to feel bad... of course I don’t... but I have to admit that it feels insanely good to know you want me that much and that you feel so comfortable with me.” He explained. “That I can make you feel that way.”

Jimmy looked at him insecurely, chewing his lower lip. “Don’t you think it’s ridiculous?” He asked.

“Not at all... I’ve felt like that ever since Headley Grange. I haven’t wanted to sleep with anyone else since then. All I wanted was you, all I wanted was... to feel all those things you made me feel, those things nobody else ever made me feel. I think you feel the same now, because I showed you what that is like, just before we went on tour. I know exactly what you feel like, because I felt the same after Headley Grange.” Robert explained, smiling at the other man encouragingly. Jimmy sighed deeply and buried his face in the blonde’s hair again. 

“Bloody hell... do you think we’re too dependant on each other?” He asked. 

“Hm, maybe. But so what? We have each other, it’s all we need, isn’t it?” Robert asked.

“But that’s the problem... we don’t always have each other, and it’s killing me.” Jimmy admitted.

“We could... we could just make it public, you know?” Robert suggested. Jimmy pulled back again to stare at him.

“Seriously? Make it public and lose EVERYTHING?” He asked. Robert shrugged.

“Bowie doesn’t make a secret out of fucking guys and he’s successful.” He argued.

“I... this is different, Rob... with our reputation...? We can’t just...” He sighed. “I don’t know.” 

“It’s ok... we don’t have to think about it for now. We have a month to ourselves, now, a whole month!” He said with a wide smile that immediately made Jimmy smile back at him. 

“Whatever are we going to do with all that time, hm?” He asked, gently touching the tip of his nose to Robert’s, then he kissed him. 

“I’m sure we can think of a few things...” The blonde answered, deepening the kiss. 

“God... I fucking hate talking about feelings and all that stuff... I guess sometimes it’s necessary.” Jimmy whispered, stressed out. “I’d rather just... feel.” He admitted. It was a lot like music. He hated talking about it, particularly to the press of course. He couldn’t explain it, they all wanted to know how he did it, how he wrote those songs, and he didn’t know. He just did it, he just felt it. 

“Then let me make you feel.” Robert said and Jimmy shivered at the way his voice dropped low. He sighed happily when the other took over and gently pushed him into the sofa with his weight. 

“Please do...” He whispered. “We do have a new toy, by the way...” He said, pointing to the big box that had been standing in the corner of the room since they came back. Robert looked up and blinked, looking slightly confused by the fact that he hadn’t noticed the huge box yet. It had several logos on it as well as a model name and number of some sort. 

“Oh... oh, is that...?” He trailed off, glancing back at his lover, excitement lighting up his features. Jimmy grinned and nodded.

“Heart rate monitor. I told you to leave it to me... I have a friend, a doctor, he works at the hospital and he helped me get this. It’s the newest model, a technological innovation, you’ll love it.” He said excitedly. 

“That must have cost a fucking fortune, Jim!” Robert gasped. The brunette shrugged.

“Of course. Does it matter, though? It’ll be worth it, I think.” He grinned. Money really wasn’t an issue with how successful their two albums and their tours were, they were both filthy rich by now. He was amused that Robert cared, anyway. 

“Yeah, I... I think so too...” Robert said, still staring at the box and the little logos. There were stylized little hearts, zig-zagging lines and numbers. “I... I honestly didn’t think we’d actually get to do that... it seemed so... you know, just... like a fantasy that we couldn’t possibly actually do.” He admitted and his face flushed red. 

“Aww, baby... it’s all real, it’s gonna happen... if you want, we can take it upstairs and you can play with my heart as much as you want.” Jimmy offered and the blonde groaned. 

“Bloody hell, Jimmy... if you phrase it like that I... I can’t...” He whispered and kissed the brunette hungrily. “I want... maybe we should... I’m sorry, but I need to get off before we start anything like that. It’s been a bloody month, baby.” Robert admitted, embarrassed at how incoherent he got. Jimmy laughed.

“You’re right. If we jump in right away, it’s not even gonna last a minute before we’re done.” He grinned. “Hmm, we’ve never taken a bath together, you know. We definitely should, might help with my poor tense muscles, too.” Jimmy suggested.

“Are we even going to fit in a tub together?” Robert wondered, amused. They were both rather tall, albeit slim. Getting in a tub together would mean a lot of awkward arranging of long limbs. Jimmy grinned at him.

“A month can change a lot of things... come, let me show you.” He said, wriggling out from underneath his lover and pulling him along to the bathroom. Robert’s eyes widened as he saw that the entire bathroom was brand new, new tiles, new furniture, an awesome new steam shower and... a small jacuzzi, easily big enough for both of them, in the corner. 

“Jimmy! You really felt like spending some money, huh?” He asked. “Is there a plane in the backyard, too, or something?” He laughed, turning around to grin at his lover. Jimmy just smiled at him and came closer to start unbuttoning his shirt.

“You know how women always go shopping when they feel bad? Well, I thought I’d try that, too, while we were on tour. It helped a little.” He explained, sliding the shirt off of the other’s broad shoulders. He shivered as Robert slid his fingers under the hem of his shirt and pushed it up. He helped him take it off and sighed happily as the other pulled him close, reveling in the feeling of skin on skin. 

“Please tell me that is all... I can’t take any more.” Robert laughed and groaned when he saw the mischievous twinkle in his lover’s eyes.

“Hmmm, no, not quite, there’s a few more things.” Jimmy said softly. “Remember how... the morning before we left for the tour, you told me what you want to do to me?” He whispered, kissing Robert’s neck gently, teasingly.

“Of course I remember.” The blonde breathed, sliding his hands down Jimmy’s back to cup his buttcheeks, pulling him closer. “Oh do I remember...”

“Well... you said you want to tie me up, make sure I can’t move or struggle, so you can do anything you want to me.” He whispered, slowly moving his hips against the other man as he talked. “I had something made and installed so you can do exactly that... it’s called a St. Andrews cross, maybe you’ve heard of them.” 

“Why is it amusing to me that it’s named after a saint...?” Robert grinned and Jimmy laughed. “I have heard of those, though, yes. That is... that’s... wow, Jimmy. You’re amazing.” 

“I know...” Jimmy laughed. “It’s a really, really nice one, too, with everything you could think of... and it’s not attached to the wall, but in the middle of the room... just so you can reach me from any angle, from behind as well as from the sides of the front. I’ll be completely bared to you. For you.” He whispered. He could feel his arousal grow with every word he uttered and he could tell Robert was just about ready to jump him, too. 

“Oh fuck, yes... and you’ll be even more vulnerable once I hook you up to that heart rate monitor... I’ll be able to do anything I want to you and I’ll know exactly how you feel, too... no matter what I do, I’ll be able to see every little reaction, no matter how much you try to hide it.” Robert said, slightly breathless already. 

Jimmy’s knees felt weak again as he heard his lover’s words. That was exactly what he wanted, what he needed so badly, the one thing he couldn’t stop thinking about.

“Yes... gods, I want that so, so badly.” He whispered and kissed his boyfriend needily. “Let’s... let’s get into the shower, let’s try that first, then the jacuzzi, then... other things.” He suggested, grinning up at the taller man excitedly. 

Robert nodded and took a step back to take off his jeans and socks. Jimmy followed suit and went to the shower, staring at all the buttons for a moment, trying to figure out how it worked, which proved a little difficult to his lust-fogged brain. 

Robert joined him in the huge shower, frowning at the many buttons as well. He reached out to press one of them and they both yelped as they were immediately sprayed with cold water. Jimmy quickly pressed another button and it stopped. 

They started at each other in silent shock for a moment, taking in the sight of each other, they looked like drowned rats, shivering from the cold water. Then they burst out laughing. Robert had to hold on to the wall, doubling over with laughter, while Jimmy held his belly. 

It took them a few more tries to get the shower to do what they needed it to do. Jimmy set it to the ‘rainfall’ setting that made warm water trickle down on them from a huge sprinkler in the ceiling. 

“Oh, this is so nice.” Jimmy sighed when the water was finally warm and pleasant. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back to feel the soft droplets on his face. 

“You’re so beautiful...” Robert breathed and when Jimmy opened his eyes again, he found his lover staring at him in complete adoration. He laughed and pulled the other man closer. 

“Even when I look like a wet rat?” He asked, amused. Robert shook his head.

“You don’t! You look like... like an angel.” He whispered and kissed the dark haired man deeply. He brushed back some hair that clung to his face. “Your hair is so long now.” He marveled at how now that it was wet, it was straightened out and stretched all the way to Jimmy’s waist. It looked a lot shorter when it was curlier. 

“So is yours.” Jimmy answered, pushing Robert’s hair behind his shoulders so he could lean in to kiss along his collar bone. He sighed when the blonde pulled him closer, enveloping him in a tight hug. 

“I missed you so much... so, so much.” Robert sighed. “You... you lost more weight.” He then said sadly as he trailed his fingers along Jimmy’s spine, then along his ribs, feeling each and every single one of them. The skinnier man shivered. 

“I... I didn’t feel like eating. I just... wasn’t hungry, on tour. The drugs didn’t help with that, either.” He admitted and shrugged. “Don’t worry, please? I ate earlier, on the way back here. The thought of finally getting to spend time with you brought my appetite right back.” He smiled, wrapping his arms around Robert’s shoulders. 

“Good.” Robert smiled back and kissed him again. Jimmy was glad he let it go and didn’t press the issue any further, for now, even though they both knew it was a problem. He melted into the kiss and let the taller man back him against the wall. He gasped and jumped as his heated skin came into contact with the cold tiles and felt Robert grin at the way his nipples hardened. 

He slid his hands up the guitarists sides, up to his chest, and started teasing the hard little nubs. Jimmy let his head fall back against the wall and moaned softly, arching his back. This was exactly what he needed, what he had craved for the past month, for Robert to touch him just like this. He made pleased little sounds as Robert kissed his neck and continued to tease his nipples. 

“Hmm, how I missed those little noises you make when I play with your nipples...” He chuckled. 

“And how I missed you playing with them...” Jimmy grinned back. Robert laughed, obviously happy that Jimmy didn’t seem all that self-conscious about it anymore.

“Oh, someone’s coming around to the whole sensitive nipples thing, huh?” He asked, amused. Jimmy shrugged, blushing slightly.

“I just figured... I should probably be grateful, most guys don’t get to feel like this.” He bit his lip shyly, looking up through his lashes. 

“Indeed...” Robert agreed and attacked his neck again, more insistently this time, leaving his marks on the pale skin. Jimmy was putty in his hands in no time, apparently four weeks wasn’t long enough for Robert to forget just how he had to touch the skinny guitarist to get him to melt, to tremble and to beg for more. 

“Tell me what you want, baby.” Robert prompted, leaving another little hickey just above Jimmy’s right collar bone. 

“I... you... your mouth. Please...” Jimmy managed, flushed and panting already. The vocalist was more than happy to comply, slowly kneeling in front of the brunette. He immediately went for it, not giving Jimmy any time to breathe. He took his cock into his mouth as far as he could, using his hand on the part he couldn’t fit. Jimmy knew already that this wouldn’t take long. He’s craved this for such a long time now, he was completely starved for it. 

He whined and arched his back when Robert reached up with his free hand to tease one of his nipples again while he hollowed his cheeks around him, then teased the tip of his cock with his tongue. He let Jimmy’s cock slip from his mouth for a second, before closing his lips around the head again. When he then sucked him back into his mouth, hard, Jimmy couldn’t help himself, he panted Robert’s name as he came hard. 

The blonde kept him in his mouth, letting him ride out his orgasm till the last second, then let go of him and stood up again. He pulled the skinnier man into his arms, holding him close. 

“Give me... a moment... and I’ll return be favor.” Jimmy breathed, holding on to his lover. 

“Hmm, I’d love that.” Robert answered, closing his eyes and just enjoying the water cascading down on them and holding the other man close. The brunette took just a little while to catch his breath, then turned them around so Robert was against the wall. He got on his knees as well and looked up at Robert, mirth in his eyes as he grinned.

“I wonder... can you come without me sucking you? Licks only?” He asked and watched Robert bite his lip. 

“I’m pretty sure I can.” He whispered. He always came pretty quickly and easily, he never needed much. Jimmy didn’t waste any time and started to lick all along Robert’s cock, dragging his tongue first up, then down, then started with tiny little kitten licks all along the shaft, then just the head, all the while looking up at the blonde to see his reactions. 

Jimmy was tongueing the slit at the tip when Robert moaned loudly and came, spurting come all over the guitarists face. Jimmy managed to close his eyes before any got in them and tilted his head back to let the water slowly rinse it off. When he opened his eyes to look at Robert, the singer was staring at him in disbelief. 

“I can’t believe... you let me come on your face.” He whispered, stunned. Jimmy smirked and stood up.

“Why not?” He asked, wrapping his arms around Robert’s neck again. 

“Well... most people think it’s degrading.” The singer argued, worried the guitarist would feel bad about the whole thing. 

“Hmm... I thought it was rather gratifying.” Jimmy grinned and kissed his lover. “I love making you lose it like that and I loved feeling you come on my face.”

“You’re so fucking lewd and sexy, do you even know what you’re doing to me?” Robert groaned, kissing him back. Jimmy just smirked knowingly.

“Shall we move on to a nice bubble bath, then?” The smaller man suggested and Robert nodded. They switched off the shower and padded over to the jacuzzi. Jimmy started the water and adjusted the temperature. “How do you feel about... patchouli and sandalwood?” He asked when he opened a little cupboard that had several bottles with bath additives. 

“That sounds wonderful.” The blonde sighed. “It’s very... you.” He smiled, wrapping his arms around his lover again. Jimmy smiled and turned around to peck his lips, then ducked out of his embrace to add the dark green liquid to the water. It immediately started to make bubbles and it smelled divine, dark, heavy and utterly relaxing. 

They held each other for a while as they waited for the tub to fill, now that the edge was taken off they just enjoyed each other’s closeness and presence. When the tub was filled, they got in. 

“Come here, baby, lean back against me.” Robert suggested, reaching out with his arms to pull his lover closer. Jimmy sat between Robert’s legs and leaned back against his chest, resting his head on his shoulder. 

“Oh, this is perfect.” The brunette sighed happily and smiled as Robert wrapped his arms around him, resting one hand on his stomach, the other on his chest. 

“Are you happy now? Do you feel better?” Robert asked gently, caressing him lightly. 

“Much better... much, much better.” Jimmy said, tilting his head to kiss Robert’s jaw. “I couldn’t possibly be happier.”

“Hmm, I think you could be...” Robert murmured against his ear. “Just think about how you’ll feel in a while... and how blissed out and happy you’ll be when I’m done with you.” 

“Ooh, and here I was, thinking we’re done for today...” Jimmy grinned, knowing full well that that wasn’t going to happen. They’d been so horny for each other and they’d had to wait for so long, a quick blowjob under the shower wasn’t going to be enough. 

“Oh no, not after what you told me... tell me more about that... cross. Where did you put it? You said it’s in the middle of the room... that’s where the bed is...” Robert asked. “Did you move the bed to the wall?” Jimmy shook his head.

“Nope.” He said, popping the ‘p’. “Remember that big, unused room at the end of the hallway? Well... I had that turned into a little room just for us, to play in.” He purred. Robert was stunned for a moment. 

“You... you had it turned into... a sex dungeon.” Robert said slowly, as if trying to process that fact. Jimmy burst out laughing.

“Don’t call it that! It’s not even in the basement, so don’t call it a dungeon!” He quipped with a grin. “I’d call it a playroom... or a pleasure room, maybe...” 

“Bloody hell.” Robert sighed, still a little stunned. “So... what else is in there? Just the cross?” Jimmy shook his head.

“There’s the St. Andrews cross... a large bed... a sofa and several arm chairs in case you want to sit and watch... I had the hooks you put in the bedroom moved over there, actually I had two sets added, one set over the bed and one towards the other end of the room, just over the bare floor, so you can pick depending on how comfortable or uncomfortable you want me to be.” He explained. “Oh and there’s storage for all of our toys as well. Of course the heart rate monitor is in there, too.” He finished. He’d felt Robert’s breathing speed up as he talked and the hands he’d rested on his chest and stomach had gripped him just a little tighter. 

“Wait a second. You had all that done...? By whom? That means... somebody knows about this.” Robert gasped. 

“It’s a firm that specializes in stuff like this. Hey, calm down... nobody knows it’s for the two of us. My tastes in the bedroom are pretty widely known either way. It wouldn’t shock people that I have a room dedicated to kinky sex in my house.” Jimmy chuckled. 

“True, I guess...” Robert laughed. “You have quite the reputation.” 

“If only they knew the whole story...” Jimmy grinned. “Luckily only you do. Hey, I was thinking, I could put a TV and VCR player in there, too, or a projector, in case we wanna watch some... movies?” He suggested. 

“Movies, huh? Why do I suspect you don’t mean James Bond?” Robert laughed. 

“If that’s what gets you going, we can watch Bond, I don’t judge.” Jimmy said cheekily, earning himself a pinch to the nipple. He laughed and swatted at Robert’s hand. “Ow! Hey...” 

“I don’t really fancy Sean Connery...” Robert said, mock-thoughtfully, making the brunette laugh. “Anyway... I can hardly wait to see that room.”

“Well, let’s enjoy the bath for a little longer, then I’ll show you.” Jimmy said, putting his hands over the ones resting on his body. “This is really, really nice... we should do this more often.” 

“Definitely. I love holding you like this.” Robert agreed. 

“Of course you do, you love fondling me.” Jimmy grinned. 

“Hm, you’re cheeky today... be careful, you might regret that later.” Robert warned, nipping at Jimmy’s earlobe.

“Oh I should hope so...” Jimmy laughed, turning his head to kiss his lover. 

They stayed in the tub for a while longer, holding each other, kissing and talking softly. When they got out, Robert wrapped Jimmy in a soft towel before getting one for himself, each of them already slowly slipping into their respective roles, Robert taking on that of the caregiver, taking the lead and Jimmy getting quieter, following Robert’s lead.

Jimmy watched Robert slip into one of the soft, white bathrobes they had. The blonde then reached to take away Jimmy’s towel, leaving him completely naked in contrast. 

“Now, let’s check out that room.” Robert said gently, taking Jimmy’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you wanna know what they're going to do in their new playroom? Let me know!


	7. Subspace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy shows Robert their new playroom and Robert get's to play with Jimmy. He manages to get Jimmy to that wonderful, trance like state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, finally. Sorry it took a little longer than usually!  
> The numbers between the paragraphs are, of course, Jimmy's heart rate via the heart rate monitor.

Of course Jimmy had already looked at the room, it was the first thing he did when he came home, but he still felt his excitement grow the closer they got, anxious to see Robert’s reaction. He had spent a little time in there already, putting all their toys into the glass display cabinet as well as stocking the room with other things they might need, wipes, lube and the like. 

He was walking slightly behind Robert, through the narrow hallway, still holding on to his hand, and when they reached the door, Robert glanced back at him with a little smile before opening it. 

The blonde let go of his hand and stepped inside, feeling around for the lightswitch. It was already quite dark and the room was pretty dark as well, so he didn’t see anything until Robert found the switch. The chandelier in the center of the room flickered to life, bathing the room in a soft, warm light.

Jimmy watched Robert as the other man took in the room, looking around with wide eyes. The walls were painted in a dark burgundy color, making the whole room even darker. On one side of the room, there was a large bed with dark red sheets, on the side towards the window there was the display cabinet with their toys. There were the pretty little cuffs Robert had gotten them, their stethoscopes, ropes and chains as well as several different kinds whips. The light from the chandelier reflected off of several blades and knives that were displayed there as well.

The window was draped with black curtains, protecting them from prying eyes. 

The large St. Andrews cross dominated the center of the room. all black wood and black leather. It wasn’t just a simple cross, it had all sorts of straps, cuffs and ties everywhere and was padded in just the right places. In front of the cross, there was a sofa and two armchairs, all expensive red velvet.

“Wow...” Robert gasped, staring at it for a moment, before his eyes wandered to the one thing that looked a little out of place in the dark room. The heart rate monitor stood between the bed and the cross, all new and shiny, on a little table with wheels. It wasn’t quite as big as the packaging in the living room would suggest, but it wasn’t small either. It had a rectangular little screen as well as an even smaller one to the right of it and surprisingly few buttons. There were 5 thin cables attached to it.

Jimmy found himself standing in the doorway, naked and with his hands clasped behind his back, waiting for Robert to take it all in and give his verdict. He was terribly nervous. When Robert turned around to look at him, the blonde’s expression softened. 

“Aww, look at you... you’re so adorable like that.” He cooed, coming to wrap his arms around the smaller man. Jimmy smiled up at him briefly, then snuggled against his chest, but his arms stayed behind his back in a display of submission.

“So.... what do you think? Do you like it?” He asked, his question muffled a little by the fabric of Robert’s robe. The felt and heard the singer chuckle.

“It’s... almost a little overwhelming. Intimidating” He admitted. “But I do like it. A lot. I think... we’ll have a ton of fun in here.” He grinned. “Are you up for it? You... seem so shy now.” He asked gently and Jimmy smiled and nodded.

“I do feel very shy right now.” He admitted in a small voice and raised his head to look up at his lover. “I want this, though.”

Robert smiled back at him and gently pulled him into the room, closing the door behind them both. Jimmy trembled in anticipation, it felt so real now that the door was closed. The moment he’d been waiting for for a whole month had finally come. The very thought made him giddy with excitement.

He watched as Robert walked to the cross, examining it and all its straps and restraints as well as the way it could be tilted to almost any angle with the mechanism in the floorboard. He was just about ready to jump out of his skin when Robert came back over to him and kissed him, starting to run his hands up and down his arms and torso with firm touches, as if reclaiming what was his. 

The way Robert touched him felt oddly grounding and calming, like he knew exactly what he was doing, and Jimmy felt his breathing even out again as he relaxed in Robert’s hands. He almost didn’t notice the blonde slowly walking backwards towards the cross, pulling him along as they kissed, but soon he found himself standing right on front of it and swallowed nervously. 

He’d bought the thing, he wanted this, right? Why did it make him so bloody nervous now? His hands were shaking and his heart was pounding. Robert guided him to stand with his back to it and he closed his eyes, slowly leaning back against it. 

“Shh, just trust me, my love. It’s gonna be just fine.” Robert cooed softly, he must have noticed just how terrified Jimmy was. He didn’t dare to open his eyes, but he heard the rustle of fabric as Robert crouched down to gently move his legs apart so he could fasten the restrains around his ankles. The padded restraints closed snugly around them and he released a shaky breath. 

Next, Robert fastened the straps around his thighs, just above his knees, then the one around his hips. Robert then made him raise first his right, then his left arm, cuffing them to the cross as well, in two places on each side. 

When he finally opened his eyes, Robert was very close to him and he blinked in surprise. The blonde smirked and briefly pecked his lips, then reached around Jimmy’s head. The guitarist gasped slightly as the cuff around his neck was closed. It wasn’t tight, just tight enough to let him feel that it was there. He felt his own rapid carotid pulse against the cuff and it almost drove him crazy. 

Robert took a step back to look at him, then frowned and came close again, deciding to fasten another strap around Jimmy’s chest, tightly. Now the brunette couldn’t even wriggle anymore, not even a little bit. Robert seemed pleased, finally, and reached up caress Jimmy’s cheek gently. 

“You’re gorgeous like this...” He whispered and Jimmy felt himself smile against Robert’s palm. He felt that strange sense of calm and happiness settle over him again. The cuffs and straps around his body started to feel comforting rather than restricting and he sighed softly, relaxing. “There you go... that’s it, relax...” Robert said gently. 

Jimmy wasn’t quite in that trance like that he’d been in the last time, the one he so desperately craved to feel again, but he was getting there, melting into the restraints instead of struggling against them, focusing on the way they felt on his body, focusing on Robert’s voice, his hand on his cheek and he felt himself calm down slowly.

He jumped a little when Robert moved away from him again. He watched him pick up a little plastic bag that was lying next to the heart rate monitor. It contained the little electrodes that the cables attached to. 

He felt his heart start to beat faster again as he watched Robert take one out and peel off the layer that protected the adhesive and the electrolyte gel. The blonde came closer again and glues the electrode to his skin, right underneath his right collar bone, then smirked at Jimmy’s surprised look.

“I’ve been obsessed with this for the past 4 weeks, ever since you mentioned it. Trust me, I know where to put them.” Robert explained with a grin and Jimmy felt himself grinning right back. It was still utterly exhilarating to find someone who is just as much into this as he was. 

The second electrode was put under his left collarbone, another one slightly to the right of his sternum, the fourth under his right pectoral muscle and the last one under his left pectoral muscle, slightly towards the side. 

Robert moved the monitor a little closer, putting it at an angle so Jimmy would be able to see it as well. He then picked up the little cables and started connecting them to the electrodes. The brunette had to take a steadying breath, he’s never felt so vulnerable in his entire life and it both terrified him and turned him on. He felt his own heartbeat in his entire body, hyper aware of it, he felt it against the cuff around his neck and against the leather strap around his chest. That only made it worse, or better, he wasn’t entirely sure.

When Robert switched on the device, he held his breath for a moment. It flickered to life, a green, zig-zagging line appeared on the larger screen and a quick beep-beep-beep filled the room. A large, red number appeared on the second, smaller screen.

112

“Hm, looks like someone’s a little nervous.” Robert teased and smirked at him, amused. Jimmy blinked at him, then at the red number on the screen. He felt a strong rush of excitement that started in the pit of his stomach and quickly traveled through his entire body. He heard the beeping quicken before he saw the number on the screen climb.

124

Jimmy bit his lip and his eyes darted from the screen to his lover who was watching him intently and then back to the screen. He felt his face heat up as he blushed and heard the beeping get even faster.

146

It briefly occurred to him that he had no reason to be that embarrassed or to panic, he was with Robert and it was ok to be excited or nervous with Robert. This was what this was about, after all, letting his lover know exactly what he felt. It was alright.

152

He took another steadying breath and slowly felt his heart slow down again as he relaxed a little. Robert came closer to him, he stood right on front of his and rested his hands on the brunette’s hips. He smiled at him gently and rested his forehead against Jimmy’s. The guitarist breathed a sigh of relief when he felt his heart rate settle.

103

“There you go...” Robert said with a smile. “Alright, I heard what happened in here...” He said then, tapping Jimmy’s chest with his fingers, “But what happened in here that cause all that?” He asked, gently tapping the side of Jimmy’s head. 

The skinnier man blushed again, nervously chewing his lip as his heart rate went up a little again.

115

“I... I don’t know, I...” He stammered, looking up into those blue eyes. “I just... I panicked because I felt so vulnerable and bared...” He whispered. Robert smiled and gently pecked his lips. “Then I thought... that it’s ok. It’s ok that you know I’m nervous. It’s just you and I trust you.” 

“Aww... you’re so adorable...” Robert cooed and kissed him again, still so gently and soothingly. “And I love you, so, so much.” 

Jimmy smiled up at Robert widely. He’d been awfully nervous about this, but now he felt safe and warm and loved. 

“I love you, too.” He whispered in turn and tilted his head a little to ask for another kiss, unable to actually move in for it because of the cuff around his neck. Robert humoured him, though, and slowly pressed his lips against the other’s as he listened to the beeping slowing down further. 

92

Robert gently moved his lips against Jimmy’s before he finally licked along his lower lip. The brunette parted his lips immediately and Robert slid his tongue inside. Jimmy made a happy little sound as he felt his lover’s tongue slide against his own slowly, he had almost forgotten just how intimate a kiss could be. He pushed back against it a little, almost as if he was fighting for dominance over the kiss, but not quite. 

Robert moaned into the kiss a little and kissed him back a little more forcefully, licking into his mouth and tangling his tongue with Jimmy’s. He pulled back a little, then, just to take the guitarist’s lower lip between his teeth briefly, then he sucked it between his lips, sucking and licking at it for a moment before stepping back. Jimmy was left panting ever so slightly, his lips red and swollen. Robert glanced at the little screen again. 

121

“Oh, this is going to be so, so much fun.” He grinned. 

“You really love getting my heart rate all over the place, don’t you?” Jimmy sighed, struggling to calm himself down again after that kiss.

“Oh yes, I absolutely do.” Robert answered. “For now, though...” He mused and pressed a little button on the heart rate monitor that stopped the constant beeping. Jimmy breathed a sigh of relief. He watched Robert walk to the glass cabinet and open it. He took out his stethoscope and settled it around his neck. He briefly glanced at some of the other things in the cabinet before closing it again and coming back. 

To Jimmy’s surprise and utter dismay, Robert didn’t come back to him, though. Instead, he settled on the sofa, sprawled out lazily. He watched Jimmy with a smirk on his face. His robe slid open slowly, revealing his hard cock. Jimmy bit his lip as he watched his lover, eyes traveling over his long legs, his cock, the little sliver of chest that was revealed and finally the stethoscope around his neck. The sight made him feel all kinds of things and he squirmed uncomfortably in his restraints. 

“What are you squirming for? I’m not doing anything.” Robert said, amused, idly toying with the tube of the stethoscope. 

“Exactly.” Jimmy huffed, glaring at him. Robert just laughed and stretched, putting his feet up on the armrest of the sofa, sprawling out even more comfortably. Jimmy knew exactly what he was doing and it unnerved him. He loved letting Jimmy wait, he loved letting his anticipation build until he almost couldn’t bear it any longer. 

Jimmy groaned as Robert started touching himself. As if seeing him like that wasn’t bad enough already, no, he also had to start doing that. He watched his lover’s hand lazily stroke himself, slowly, up and down, then the thumb would rub across the tip. He chewed his lip and squirmed some more. 

119

The red numbers on the little screen seemed to be mocking him, steadily climbing as he waited and watched his lover pleasure himself. He tried to get his breathing under control. 

127

“See something you like?” Robert teased and Jimmy sighed at the way his voice sounded. He glared at the other man again. “Aww, so angry...” Robert laughed. It wasn’t fair. Jimmy desperately longed to touch, to taste, to feel, to BE touched, but he couldn’t do anything but wait.

132

“Hold your breath.” Robert then commanded and Jimmy startled. “Exhale and hold your breath.” The blonde specified. Jimmy blushed at the attention being back on him even as Robert continued to touch himself. 

He did as he was told, closing his eyes and exhaling as much as he could, forcing the air out of his lungs, then holding his breath. He remembered some of the little experiments he used to do, on his own, with his stethoscope, holding his breath to make it skip as he listened to his heart. He knew he could hold it for quite a while, but right now he wasn’t so sure. 

With the way his heart was racing, using way more oxygen than it should be, and his current state of arousal, he knew he wouldn’t last as long. Of course he’d been turned on back then, too, but nowhere near as much as he was right now.

“Open your eyes.” Robert told him and he did, looking back at him. He followed Robert’s gaze when he noticed that he wasn’t looking at his face and found his gaze fixed to that spot on his chest again. He blushed even further. 

Having lost a little more weight and with the way he’d forced the air out of his lungs his heart was more visible than ever before. He understood now why Robert had told him to do this, he remembered Robert telling him that seeing his heart beat beneath his skin was one of his biggest turn ons. He also knew Robert got off on seeing, or hearing, his heart struggle, skipping and pounding in his chest.

146

His lungs started to burn and he struggled to hold his breath just a little longer, but it was getting difficult. He physically felt his blood pressure drop as he became lightheaded, but he forced himself to hold it just a little longer, he so desperately wanted to please Robert. He realized he’d been holding holding his breath for longer than ever before. He also noticed his cock had become soft due to the drop in blood pressure.

\---

The red numbers disappeared as the device couldn’t get a clear reading. The green zig-zag line started to become all irregular as Jimmy’s heart started skipping, then start to beat really, really slowly all of a sudden.

58

He briefly noticed Robert staring at the monitor in shock but still stroking himself faster, before it became too much and he drew in a breath, gasping. It was almost painful when his heart skipped another beat, messing up the regular green line again, then started to race again.

162

He panted harshly, the crass change in heart rate was almost too much for him to bear, but the rush he got from the oxygen when it streamed back into his lungs was divine.

“Stop. Hold it again.” Robert told him then and Jimmy did so immediately. His body hadn’t quite recovered from the previous breathhold yet, but he still did it, desperate to please his lover. Robert almost sounded more breathless than Jimmy felt, stroking himself faster and faster as he watched the skinnier man struggle to hold his breath for him.

171

“I told you... I was going to make your heart work so hard for me... I was gonna make it struggle... until it can’t take any more.” Robert panted and Jimmy made a strangled little noise. This wasn’t what he thought Robert was going to do to him, but it definitely worked. His heart started skipping more and more and he just couldn’t hold his breath anymore. He took a breath with a little sob just as Robert came all over his hand. 

189

He struggled to get his breathing back to normal, closing his eyes for a moment. He heard Robert shift on the sofa and open the door of the little cupboard next to the sofa to take out some wipes to clean himself. When he heard Robert’s voice again, the other man was right in front of him. Jimmy had a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that Robert had just utterly dominated him without even touching him.

“You did so well... I’m proud of you.” He praised and Jimmy felt like he was floating. A smile spread all over his face as he beamed at the other man, giddy. His heart was slowing down quickly now that he got to breathe normally again. “You made me very, very happy.” 

123

“I wanted to please you so badly...” Jimmy whispered and nuzzled Robert’s palm as it came up to caress his face. It smelled of the perfume from the wet wipe he’d used and of... him, and it made Jimmy even hornier.

“You did... you did. I think you earned yourself a little reward.” Robert purred. “You know... I thought I’d just fuck you to the beat of your heart but... it occurred to me that I’d never be able to keep up.” He chuckled, glancing at the monitor. 

119

“You’d have to sedate me to keep my heart rate low enough...” Jimmy grinned. 

“Now that’s an idea for another time...” Robert said and kissed him. He then took the steth from around his neck and put the earpieces in. Jimmy briefly wondered if being listened to was his reward or if he’d get anything else. Whatever it was, he sighed happily as he felt the cool chestpiece on his heated skin. He was already hard again now that his blood pressure was back to normal. “Hm, I thought you’d enjoy this.” Robert said. 

123

“I do.” Jimmy whispered, smiling up at Robert who came a little closer, slowly resting his body against Jimmy’s side and continued to kiss him gently. The brunette felt his heart speed up as soon as Robert’s lips touched his and even more so when his tongue slipped inside his mouth. 

131

“Oh how I love listening to it speed up when I kiss you... that is so adorable.” Robert murmured against his lips and Jimmy blushed. 

“I can’t help it... I’ve kissed you so many times, but it’s still so exciting every time.” He answered. 

“Aww... of course you can’t help it... that’s what I love about it...” Robert grinned. “Now, I said you deserve a little reward, didn’t I?” He then said and Jimmy nodded, biting his lower lip. “Remember what you did to me in the shower, earlier? I’d love to show you what that feels like.” 

Jimmy swallowed nervously. Of course he remembered the teasing little licks he gave Robert’s throbbing cock, but he was quite sure that that wouldn’t be enough to make him come, unlike the blonde. He just always needed a little more stimulation than Robert did, so he wasn’t sure if this was really a reward. 

“Oh, I know exactly what you’re thinking... you’re worried that it won’t be enough, that you won’t come. But... do you also remember that I said...” Robert started and kissed him again, just a quick little peck. “... I would get your heart racing over and over again until you can’t take it anymore?” Jimmy nodded, how could he forget that?

135

“Well, I think that might do the trick. I’m gonna tease you until you think you’re passing out, until you’re begging me to give you more, to let you come.” Robert growled and Jimmy started squirming in his restraints again. He was very aware of his throbbing arousal, he’d been in this position for quite a while already and it didn’t sound like Robert would be done with him any time soon. He was starting to get desperate already. 

He watched in confusion as Robert opened the buckle of the leather strap around his chest. He realized what he was doing when Robert slid the chestpiece of the stethoscope under the strap and fastened it again so it was held in place. 

His eyes followed Robert’s movements as he slowly crouched down in front of Jimmy, sliding his hands down his torso, to his hips and caressed his thighs lightly. The thick cuff around his neck kept him from looking down further to watch his lover, so he rested his head back against the leather cushion behind it and let his eyes travel to the monitor again. The green line was zig-zagging rhythmically again.

“Yes... good. Watch.” Robert purred when he saw where Jimmy’s gaze had landed. “I want you to see what I’m doing to your heart.” Jimmy heard the teasing grin in his lover’s voice even though he couldn’t see it. He’d calmed down just a little bit since Robert hadn’t been touching and kissing him for a bit, but the way he talked to him and the anticipation still kept his heart rate just slightly over 100.

He almost made a sound when Robert started teasingly touching his throbbing and aching cock with the tips of his fingers, but forced himself to remain quiet as Robert still had the earpieces of the steth in his ears and the strap kept the diaphragm against his chest. Finally being touched after such a long time felt so, so good and he wanted, needed so much more but he knew he wasn’t going to get it.

117

“Please, Robert...” He panted, trying to wriggle and move into the teasing touch, but to no avail.

“Already begging, huh?” Robert laughed. “I didn’t think it would be so easy.” He added and Jimmy shut his mouth, embarrassed. The blonde had barely done anything to him and here he was, begging him for more already. But that was it, wasn’t it? He’d just tied him up and did all kinds of things to turn him on, only to keep him waiting, yearning. 

Jimmy hissed sharply at the first teasing lick across the tip of his cock, everything felt a million times more intense than it usually did and he didn’t understand his own body anymore. Robert was holding his cock in his hand gingerly, careful not to give him any pressure or friction as he teased the slit at the tip with his tongue, quickly flicking it, then swirling it around. 

124

The brunette fought to keep his breathing even, but he just couldn’t do it, the teasing made him pant in no time and sent his heart rate skyrocketing quickly. 

136

Robert kept teasing the slit until the pleasurable feeling turned into an intense, burning sensation that quickly turned painful. He mewled and tried to move away from it, but the straps around his hips and legs kept him firmly in place, there was nothing he could do to stop it.

165

“Please... no, stop... hurts...” He panted, still trying to move away from Robert’s tongue, in vain, the blonde just kept going. He wrapped his fist around the base of his cock and squeezed, hard, as he continued the teasing. Jimmy almost cried out and arched in his restraints, the muscles in his legs and lower belly quivering.

193

Jimmy didn’t even really feel the way the cuffs around his wrists, his thighs and his hips were digging into his skin as he strained against them, he thought he was going to lose his mind if Robert didn’t stop very soon. 

He actually cried out in pain as Robert dug a fingernail into the sensitive flesh at the tip of his cock, hard.

201

As soon as Jimmy’s heart rate exceeded the magical number of 200, Robert stopped, sitting back on his heels a little to look up at the panting brunette. Jimmy vividly remembered what Robert told him, that he’d do this over and over again until he couldn’t take it anymore, but quite frankly, he was already at that point. 

He didn’t think he could take any more of this, he felt like he’d either pass out or have a heart attack, probably both. 

188

“Please, no more, I... can’t.” He gasped, trying to regain his breath.

“Aww, but you said you’d let me play with your heart all I want...” Robert mock-pouted, then grinned at him. He leaned in again to take the tip of Jimmy’s cock into his mouth, sucking ever so slightly at it and tonguing at it again. Jimmy squeezed his eyes shut against the pleasure/pain, holding his breath. 

202

Robert let go of him again and got up from where he’d been crouching. He came closer to kiss Jimmy soothingly.

“Shh, it’s ok... you did well, it’s alright...” He whispered and Jimmy relaxed a little. Again, the praising words made a certain warmth spread all throughout his body and he felt like he was floating again, like he was high. 

154

Robert waited and caressed his back and sides gently, soothing him, until he’d calmed down enough. He removed the eartips of the stethoscope and took the chestpiece out from underneath the strap, putting it on the sofa for now.

92

“Now, I saw all those nice toys you put over there... and I wondered if there’s something you’d like to try...” Robert then said, grinning at him. “Wait. Don’t answer.” He said and Jimmy watched him flip that switch on the heart rate monitor again that made it beep in time with his heart again. He bit his lip. 

Robert then slowly made his was over to the cabinet and opened it. Jimmy watched him as he looked at each of the things, reaching out to touch them and toy with them. He couldn’t help his heart beating faster when he touched certain things, making the device beep faster and it occurred to him that that was exactly what Robert wanted. 

He wanted to find out what excited Jimmy the most. The brunette cursed inwardly and tried to control himself, but of course, he failed. His heart started pounding madly when Robert started toying with the tassel of the cat o’nine tails whip in the cabinet. 

“Oh... this one? Really?” Robert mused, having heard the beeping of the monitor speed up. He picked up the whip, turning to look at Jimmy. “Fear... or excitement?” He asked. 

Jimmy eyed the cat o’nine tails warily. It was all leather, each tail made up of three straps of leather, braided and knotted at the end. Some of the tails had a little wooden bead woven into the knot at the end to cause additional pain. He knew it was the most painful whip he owned. He jumped as Robert made a swishing sound with it. 

“I believe I asked you a question.” Robert said, a dangerous edge to his voice. Jimmy swallowed thickly.

“B-both, I guess.” He answered honestly, his eyes darting from the whip in Robert’s hands to his face. He was incredibly hot like this.

“You guess? Then we should make sure...” Robert grinned. Jimmy heard the beeping speed up more with each step the blonde took towards him and of course, so did Robert. It made him grin even wider and Jimmy briefly thought he was enjoying this way too much. But then again, so was he, in a strange, twisted way. 

Robert didn’t start immediately, of course. He came to stand right in front of Jimmy again, pressing his own body up against the other man’s. Jimmy felt that he was hard again and he wasn’t surprised. He was kissed again, probably with the intention to calm him down, although this time, it didn’t do much. The device kept beeping frantically. 

A few moments later, Robert made another swishing sound with the whip, without actually hitting him with it.

Jimmy jumped so hard the cross he was tied to squeaked with the force of it and a scared little gasp left his lips. The heart rate monitor gave a warning sound as his heart went into a frenzy. He heard Robert chuckle darkly. 

186

“Fuck... you’re... you are such... a fucking sadist.” Jimmy panted, trying to calm down again. Robert laughed again.

“But darling, you did this to me, too, remember?” He asked. Jimmy did. “When I was blindfolded, nonetheless. Now you know what it feels like.” The brunette just glared at him in response. 

Robert started to walk around him, looking at him, from every angle, as if trying to decide where to strike first. Jimmy desperately wanted something to hold on to, but the way he was tied to the cross with the cuffs around his hands didn’t allow him that. 

147

The first blow came from behind him, to the side of his right thigh. Jimmy cried out at the sudden pain, but Robert didn’t give him much time to dwell on it, whipping him again, this time across the left calf. Jimmy felt the little wooden beads at the end of the tails as they hit him forcefully.

The blonde walked back around him, standing in front of him again. Jimmy watched him draw back for another strike. He gasped when it landed right across his stomach. It hadn’t been as hard at the ones to his legs, but it hurt. 

At the same time, he felt a strange, burning arousal flood his whole system. The next two blows came, setting the front of his thighs on fire and Jimmy moaned. He watched a smile appear on Robert’s face. The blonde obviously knew what Jimmy felt, having been there himself. 

Robert carefully swished the cat o’nine tails again, letting the very tips of the tails kiss Jimmy’s arms, careful not to accidentally hit him in the face. 

Jimmy was in a trance by the time the next few blows landed on his legs, he felt completely and utterly high, like he’d taken something, pain didn’t feel like pain anymore, he was perfectly happy and at peace and incredibly aroused at the same time. He was breathing deeply and slowly and his whole body felt warm and heavy. 

76

The whip struck the side of his thigh again, much harder this time and he moaned, dimly aware of the feeling of blood slowly trickling down his leg. 

Robert left his field of view again, but Jimmy was barely even aware of it. Behind him, he heard the swishing noise again and felt the tips of the tails on the part of his pack that wasn’t obstructed by the cross. The blonde kept it up for a while longer until Jimmy’s cock was throbbing so much he thought he was about to come. 

The next thing he was aware of was Robert putting the whip down and shrugging out of the robe he’d been wearing. He came to stand between his spread legs again, kissing him heatedly and roughly, grinding against him. He moaned into the kiss and tried to move against Robert in turn, but the restraints kept him from it. 

139

Robert quickly opened the cuff around Jimmy’s neck so he could start kissing, sucking and biting it as he moved his hips against the brunette. Jimmy sighed and moaned, and when Robert reached between them to start stroking them both, he whined and arched in his restraints. It didn’t take long for both of them to come.

189

Robert stayed in that position for a moment, his face buried in the crook of Jimmy’s neck, catching his breath, before moving back a little to look at Jimmy. He smiled and kissed him gently. 

“You’re so... fucking... perfect.” He breathed, making Jimmy smile. His whole body was still tingling with pleasure all over. He let his head fall back against the cross and closed his eyes, unable to speak for now. He barely noticed Robert switching off the heart rate monitor or that the electrodes on his chest were removed carefully, he was still coming down from that insane high.

When Robert started opening the cuffs and straps, he slowly came back around, bracing himself for having to stand on his own. The cuffs around his wrists were the last to go and he let his arms fall around Robert’s neck. The blonde gently gathered him close to his chest, sliding one arm under his legs and carrying him over to the bed. 

Gently, he was lowered on the bed and he whined when Robert moved away. 

“Aww, it’s alright, I’ll be right back, baby... Just give me a second, I need to take care of you now...” Robert said soothingly. It didn’t make Jimmy feel any better about being left alone, but he couldn’t argue either. The blonde left the room and came back a few moments later with a glass of water and something else in his other hand. Jimmy also recognized the med kit from the bathroom. 

“Here, drink.” Robert said, offering him the glass. Jimmy gratefully accepted it and downed the whole thing. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he’d been. “Have some of this, too.” Robert then said, handing him a chocolate bar. Jimmy raised an eyebrow. “Low blood sugar.” Robert explained and the brunette smiled. 

Jimmy unwrapped the chocolate bar and started sucking on it absentmindedly as he watched Robert open the med kit. His gaze slowly traveled from Robert’s hands to his own body and he startled a little. There were bright red welts everywhere and in several places, the skin had broken where the beads had hit him and he bled. 

Robert cleaned their come off of him with a wet wipe, then he poured some disinfecting liquid on a cotton pad and started cleaning the tiny wounds gently. He then gently applied some soothing ointment to the cuts and the worst of the welts and applied some bandaids to the biggest cuts. 

“There you go... all better now.” Robert whispered and gently pulled the skinnier man into his arms. 

“Can we... can we go to the bedroom, please?” Jimmy asked. He suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable in this room. It looked like sex, it smelled like sex and it made him feel terribly awkward now. 

“Of course... let me...” Robert said and moved to pick the brunette up again, but Jimmy shook his head.

“It’s alright, I can... I can walk. Thank you.” He said and got up gingerly. Robert put a hand on the small of his back and they went to the bedroom. Robert immediately pulled Jimmy into bed and wrapped a blanket tightly around them both, holding the smaller man close. Jimmy snuggled against him and closed his eyes. 

The endorphins and all that were slowly leaving his system and he felt himself drop slowly, his mood sinking. He was left feeling hollow and empty. Robert must have noticed, he gently lifted his head, two fingers under his chin, and kissed him gently.

“I love you so, so much...” He whispered and started peppering his face with gentle, little butterfly kisses. Jimmy smiled at that, the feeling of emptiness slowly being chased away by warmth. 

“I love you, too...” He whispered back and raised his hands to pull Robert into a deeper kiss. He moved a little to tangle their legs, wanting, needing to feel as much of his lover’s skin against his own as possible. There was nothing sexual about it now, he just needed to be close to the other man, as close as possible. 

He tucked his head under Robert’s chin and closed his eyes. His body tensed as slowly, feelings of shame washed over him. 

“No... no, don’t go there, baby” Robert whispered and held him closer. “There’s no reason to be ashamed.” Jimmy looked up at him.

“How do you... how do you always know exactly what I feel?” He asked in surprise. Robert smiled at him gently and caressed his cheek.

“Because I’ve been there.” He said softly. “But I told myself... that it’s ok. We both enjoyed it and I don’t have to feel ashamed for enjoying it.”

Jimmy averted his gaze again and snuggled back against the other man’s broad chest, thinking. His thoughts were racing, spinning.

“Stop it, Jimmy. You’re thinking so loudly I can almost hear it.” Robert sighed and caressed his back soothingly. 

“I can’t.” Jimmy sighed. “It’s just so... this is just so...” He stopped, unable to find the right words.

“I know. You’re scared. You don’t understand. You didn’t know it would feel like that. You didn’t know you’d enjoy it. You didn’t know you could enjoy giving up control like that. It’s not like you. I know. But it’s ok.” Robert cooed. 

Jimmy huffed and hid his face in the blanket. 

“Jimmy... do you... do you think I should have been ashamed? When you... remember when you used that razor and you cut me... and you noticed how much I got off on that? Should I have been ashamed?” Robert asked seriously. Jimmy’s head snapped up.

“What? No! Why? You... you were so gorgeous like that, you enjoyed it so much and so did I and...” He quickly shut his mouth when he saw Robert’s smile.

“Exactly.” The blonde said. Jimmy sighed again.

“But that’s you... For you, that’s ok... I’m not... you. I’m me. I don’t lose control. I just don’t. I’m always in control.” He said. 

“You didn’t lose it, babe... you gave it to me. That’s an entirely different thing.” Robert argued. Jimmy had to agree, it was. “If you feel bad about this, we don’t ever have to do it again, baby... but you really shouldn’t feel bad about it. Remember how good it felt, what it made you feel like? Why would you be ashamed for feeling good?”

“I know you’re right... it’s just... a little tough to accept...” Jimmy said, snuggling even closer to the other man. He was starting to feel better, though.

“How about... next time... you get to do all that to me... you’d be in control and I’ll be all tied up... hm?” Robert suggested. Jimmy smiled.

“Honestly? Right now I can’t even think about sex, but yes... I’m pretty sure I’d love that.” He chuckled. He was infinitely grateful Robert, unlike him, was actually good at talking about feelings and always managed to make him feel better. He was so gentle, considerate and loving and he always made everything feel alright again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was surprisingly difficult to write, I had a bit of a writers block. I wanted to focus on what Jimmy was feeling in this chapter, emotionally, rather than phsyically, of course, with him reaching his subspace and feeling a little ashamed about having enjoyed it so much afterwards.
> 
> Let me know what you think, please!


	8. Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert annoys Jimmy with his constant nagging, wanting to talk, so Jimmy shows him his place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Whipping, Bloodplay and Knifeplay ahead. Consensual? Absolutely. Safe and Sane? Not so sure, although I tried to keep it mostly safe and sane.

Jimmy didn’t even step into their playroom until more than a week later. He just couldn’t do it, he was still battling feelings of shame and insecurity. Robert had tried to make him talk, but Jimmy had refused, telling the blonde that he was fine. He could almost feel Robert’s frustration with him growing, the longer he refused to talk about what was clearly an issue. 

It´wasn’t like they didn’t have sex. They were barely able to keep their hands off of each other, but they kept it mostly vanilla, and in their bedroom. Or the kitchen. Or the bathroom, or the old, ugly sofa in the rehearsal room. It didn’t matter.

Once, they did it on the garden swing Jimmy, for some reason, kept in the living room, the room with the biggest window. If anybody had peered through that window, they would have gotten quite the show, but they were too drunk and high to care. 

Jimmy was getting fed up with Robert trying to make him talk. He didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t even want to think about it. He just wanted to enjoy the time they had before they had to go back to pretending they didn’t love each other. 

They were cuddled up in an armchair in the library, listening to music, when Robert started yet again. 

“So, when are we gonna talk about this?” He said, idly playing with a strand of Jimmy’s long, dark hair. The guitarist sighed heavily.

“We’re not. I told you I don’t want to.” He said wearily and sat up to put at least some distance between them. He turned his back to his boyfriend to stare out the window. 

“Jimmy, this is eating at you, I can tell. You haven’t even... you can’t even walk into that room, you can’t even look at the fucking door, you can’t look at yourself in the mirror and still you won’t talk to me! I thought... I thought it was ok after we talked, right after, in bed...” Robert started.

“Shut... up.” Jimmy growled dangerously, effectively shutting the blonde up as he turned to glare at him. “I said I don’t want to talk about it and you will not make me!”

“Baby, I just want to help, I just want you to feel better...”

“I said no!” Jimmy raised his voice and Robert jumped as he hit the tea table in front of them. The guitarist never yelled, he had such a soft, gentle voice usually, he almost surprised himself with the way he sounded. “I think you may need a little reminder who’s really in charge, here.” He said then, lowering his voice and looking at Robert again. 

Jimmy had quickly learned that the best way to get Robert to shut up was sex. The blonde was so young and constantly horny and Jimmy used that to his advantage. He was a little surprised Robert hadn’t caught on to what he was doing yet, or maybe he had but he didn’t care. Either way, the effect was immediate, Robert shut up and blinked at him slowly. 

“D-do I?” He asked, swallowing thickly and biting his lip. Jimmy was very pleased with his reaction and he knew he’d won. 

“I think you do, yes.” He said as he smirked at the other man. “I want you to go to that room, you will take off your clothes and you will kneel on the floor, facing away from the door, hands clasped behind your back and you will wait for me.” He instructed, carefully watching Robert’s reaction, the way he grabbed a fistful of the blanket they had wrapped around themselves, the way his breathing sped up, even the way his pupils dilated. 

“And don’t think I will go easy on you like I did at Headley Grange.” He added.

Jimmy couldn’t help but chuckle as Robert got up and the soft trousers he’d been wearing were tented already. Sometimes, it was almost too easy. He watched the blonde leave and rested his head in his palms for a moment, gathering his thoughts. Part of him knew that he couldn’t just keep doing this and that at some point, he’d have to talk to Robert, but for now he was happy he got away with it again. He was also looking forward to having some fun with the singer. 

It felt incredibly good to be back in control, actually, and he intended to make the most out of it. He sat back in the armchair and continued listening to the record they had put on earlier. He let Robert wait for almost half an hour, he wanted the other to be trembling with anticipation by the time he finally joined him. 

He took his sweet time walking up the stairs as well, making sure Robert would be able to hear his footsteps as he approached. He knew that by this time, Robert’s knees would be sore from kneeling. 

He took a deep breath before he opened the door to their playroom, it was the first time he went in there since Robert had done all those things to him and he needed a second to steady himself, but he found that right now, with the way he was feeling now, it was alright. He was in control and everything was fine. 

He opened the door and stepped inside, pleased to find Robert kneeling between the bed and the cross, his back to the door, hands clasped behind his back. He watched the blonde’s shoulder rise and fall with each quick, shallow breath and smirked as he jumped when Jimmy closed the door with a soft click. Letting him wait for so long had gotten Robert into quite a state and Jimmy loved how nervous and excited he was already.

The brunette slowly walked to the glass cabinet and opened it. He took his time looking at the things before he picked up one of the whips that lay coiled in there. He heard Robert’s breath hitch. 

He had half a mind to use the cat o’nine tails on the blonde, but he changed his mind. Part of him didn’t want to touch the thing as it brought back memories he’d rather not think of right now, another part of him thought using the long, slender bullwhip would be fun. He slowly made his way back to Robert, circling him slowly, toying with the whip.

“While we’re in here, today, you will not speak until I tell you to, unless you need your safeword.” He said softly and Robert nodded. “You will be quiet and you will do as I say. You won’t come unless I specifically say you can. I haven’t decided yet if I’ll let you come, today. I’m not sure you deserve it. You will have to earn it.” He said and watched Robert struggle to keep back a whimper that threatened to leave his lips. 

He walked around the blonde again, making sure he watched him play with the handle of the whip, then went to stand behind him again. He loved teasing Robert, making him wait.

“I will not tie you up. I expect you to stay in any position I tell you to, no matter what.” Jimmy instructed. “I will teach you a lesson for thinking you can manipulate me, make me talk about things I don’t want to talk about.” He said in a low whisper and raised his arm and brought the whip down across the top of Robert’s back. He was surprised that the singer actually managed to stay quiet. The hold he had on his own wrist behind his back tightened, but he made no sound. 

He almost wanted to praise Robert, tell him he was being good, but he changed his mind. He didn’t want to give in so quickly, give him any gratification so easily. 

“I will not give you a number, either. You won’t know when I’ll be done, until I’m done, when I think you got what you deserved.” He continued. Robert was trembling by now, whether is was from the effort to stay still, due to excitement, fear or arousal, Jimmy wasn’t entirely sure. Probably all of it. He watched the blonde lower his head a little and his wild curls his his face. 

He waited for a while before drawing back for the next blow, harder this time, diagonally across Robert’s back. He rocked forward a little, then sat back up straight. A second, beautiful red mark soon appeared on the flawless skin.

“I’ll hurt you until you learn...” He struck him again, “... not to push me...” And again, “... and to listen to me when I tell you no.”

Soon, Robert’s back was covered in thin, red welts and Jimmy heard a little sob. It might have been just a quick intake of breath, but he was pretty sure it was a sob. He’d never seen Robert cry, but today, he desperately wanted to. He wanted to break him. 

He struck him again, even harder this time. Robert made a pained little sound and sobbed again as the already abused skin finally broke and blood slowly welled up. He did it a few more times, ruthlessly, again and again, until there were several bloody welts across his back and his shoulder were shaking with his sobs and gasps. He then put the whip down on the little cupboard next to the sofa. 

He sat on the sofa, leaning back comfortably, and watched the other man for a moment. The trembling and sobbing didn’t stop now that he wasn’t whipping him anymore, on the contrary, it only got worse. He soon took pity on his lover.

“Alright, get up and come here.” He ordered. “Sit in my lap.” The blonde took a moment to process the order, then he got up and walked over to the sofa, a little unsteady on his feet. He wasn’t hard anymore like he had been when Jimmy told him to come up here, so the brunette knew he’d done a good job. Robert gingerly climbed into his lap, one leg on either side of Jimmy’s, and sat, keeping his arms behind his back. 

Jimmy reached up and brushed his hair out of his face. He gently cupped his cheek and wiped away some tears, but more spilled as Robert blinked. 

“Shh, it’s ok now... you were very good. You only made one little sound and I can’t even blame you for that one. It’s ok.” He soothed. “I’m very impressed with how well you took it...” 

The blonde sniffled and took a shaky breath. He couldn’t quite meet Jimmy’s eyes. 

“You may speak now.” Jimmy said, wiping away a few more tears. “Did you learn your lesson?” He asked. Robert nodded.

“Yes. Yes, I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“You won’t try to push me again, to make me do something I don’t want to do?” Jimmy asked and Robert shook his head.

“No, I won’t... I promise.” He said. 

“Good. You can relax now, sit however you want.” Jimmy offered and Robert let out a long breath and slumped forward, snuggling against his boyfriend and wrapping his arms around his neck. Jimmy smiled and wrapped his arms around the other man, careful not to agitate any of the welts on his back. 

“I just... wanted to help.” Robert whispered after a while. “I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable.”

“It’s alright now. I just need you to... wait until I’m ready. I need some time and when I’m comfortable enough, I might talk about it. I might not. But that will be my decision, not yours.” Jimmy explained. “You’ll have to accept that.” 

“I will. I’m sorry, Jimmy.” The blonde said again.

“I know, I know... stop apologizing. I told you it’s ok.” Jimmy chuckled, caressing the small of his back, then sliding his hands down to cup his butt and pull him a little closer. He smiled when he heard Robert sigh happily. 

“You needed this, didn’t you...” He whispered and Robert nodded. “D’you need me to hurt you some more?” He asked and Robert nodded again.

“Yes, please.” He said, pulling back a little to look at his lover. Jimmy wasn’t angry with him anymore, so he was more than happy to indulge in other kinds of games. He felt very comfortable in his current role.

“Then go and pick your poison.” Jimmy smiled. Making Robert chose what he wanted him to use would be interesting. Robert blinked at him in surprise, he obviously hadn’t expected to be made to chose, but he went to the cabinet anyways, doing as he was told.

To Jimmy’s surprise, he came back with an x-acto knife and a stethoscope. Of course he’d picked the sharpest, most scalpel-like thing in the cabinet as well as something to let Jimmy know exactly how excited he was about this. 

“Ok... if this is what you want, go and get the med kit, too.” Jimmy sighed. He knew he was entirely in control and wouldn’t cut Robert too deeply, but he’d still rather be safe than sorry. The x-acto knife was incredibly sharp. 

Of course he was aware that they’d crossed the line of completely safe and sane a while ago, well, at least it was consensual. He was happy to give Robert what he wanted as long as he was sure he could keep him safe from any actual harm. 

He took the knife and the steth from his boyfriend, watched him leave the room to get the med kit and cringed slightly at the state of his back. Robert didn’t seem to mind, though. He took the med kit when Robert returned and took out the alcohol. 

“Let me disinfect your back quickly, before we get into this... we don’t want any infections.” He said and patted the sofa next to himself. Robert obediently sat with his back to him. He drenched a cotton pad with the alcohol and slowly dabbed it across one of the cuts. He laughed and shook his head when Robert moaned. 

“Sorry... feels good.” The blonde sighed. “Don’t laugh at me.” 

“I’m not laughing at you.” Jimmy said. “It’s just... I’ve never met anyone who got off on pain as much as you do. I didn’t think it was possible. I thought people liked the feeling they got when it stopped, but you seem to actually... like the pain itself.”

“I do...” Robert admitted. He leaned forward a little to rest his arms and head on the armrest of the sofa. “Well, certain kinds of pain, at least. I don’t... actually like the whipping... but the sharp pain from the alcohol, I do. It’s same kind of pain I felt when you cut me. Sharp and nice. Intense. Not dull and throbbing like the whipping.” He explained and Jimmy understood. 

“I see. I think I understand.” He said gently and continued to clean and disinfect the little cuts. They weren’t bleeding anymore and the swelling was already going down, too. By the time he was done, Robert’s eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply. “Sit up and turn around.” He ordered.

The blonde did as he was told, kneeling on the sofa next to Jimmy and looking up at him with a slight smile on his slips. 

“I want you to stay still. Do not move, not even an inch or I will stop immediately.” He warned while he poured a bit of alcohol on the x-acto knife to disinfect it before using it as well. He wanted to make sure Robert didn’t move and make him cut deeper than he’d intended. The blonde nodded.

“Understood.” He confirmed. Jimmy slid the stethoscope around his neck and grinned at the other man. 

“You want me to use this, don’t you?” He asked, lifting the chestpiece of the steth. “You want me to know exactly what this does to you.” He picked up the x-acto knife. Robert swallowed and nodded. He sat up a little straighter, offering his chest and Jimmy smiled at how eager he looked. He was starting to get hard again, too, which only added to the picture. 

He put the earpieces in and slowly lifted the chestpiece to put it on Robert’s chest, making sure to take his time and tease the blonde just a little more. When he finally put it on, he was greeted by the quick thudding he’d expected. 

“Beautiful.” He murmured and Robert looked at him almost shyly. It had been a while since he’d heard it, and he’d actually missed it. The last time he’d gotten to use the steth on Robert had been more than a month ago, so it was even more understandable that the blonde was excited. 

He let his eyes wander over Robert’s body and listened to his heart speed up a little as he felt watched and scrutinized. 

“Hmm... I don’t even know where to start... so much gorgeous skin to cut...” He whispered and reached out with the knife, dragging the blunt back of the blade down Robert’s chest. He chuckled when his heart rate increased dramatically. Jimmy also noticed he was holding his breath while the knife traveled down his chest. He was really taking the ‘don’t move’ seriously. 

He looked down at Robert’s arms which he’d folded in his lap and took his left hand in his own, turning it to bare Robert’s wrist to him. He carefully traced the little blue veins he saw there with the sharp side of the blade, but not hard enough to make an incision. The blonde was breathing quickly, but shallowly now and his heart was slamming hard and fast against Jimmy’s left hand and the diaphragm. 

He was also fully erect by now and Jimmy absolutely loved the effect this little game had on his lover, especially considering he hadn’t even cut him yet. 

He pressed down ever so slightly then, making a tiny, very shallow little cut just along one of the little blue veins. It was barely enough to bleed at all, but two tiny beads of blood appeared. He saw Robert watch them, fascinated. Jimmy put down the knife for a moment to reach out and pick some of the blood up with the tip of his index finger. He reached up and smeared it across Robert’s lips. 

The blonde gasped and his tongue darted out to lick his lips subconsciously. Jimmy grinned and leaned in to kiss him, tasting the metallic tang of the blood. He heard Robert moan into the kiss as he deepened it. 

“More, please, Jimmy.” He whispered into the kiss, although Jimmy barely heard it over the almost deafening sound of his pounding heart. 

“Shhh... I’ll decide what you get... and how much... and when.” Jimmy said in between little kisses and licks. He then sat back again and picked up the knife. “Be quiet and close your eyes.” He ordered. Robert did. 

Jimmy waited for his heart to slow down a bit before he carried on, he wanted to hear the effect of his next move. He teasingly dragged the blunt end of the blade along the inside of Robert’s thigh, not that the blonde would be able to tell the difference between the sharp end and this one with his eyes closed. He dragged it all the way up to his crotch, then up the underside of his cock, all the way to the tip. 

He saw the way Robert’s whole body tensed up immediately and his heart started thundering madly in his chest. The whole game was a crazy rollercoaster of emotions and Jimmy was sure that Robert loved it. The guitarist couldn’t deny that he felt the same, he was getting increasingly turned on by the power he had over the other man and became more and more uncomfortable in his trousers as well, but he made no move to give himself any relief just yet. 

He dragged the blunt end across the tip and Robert whimpered, still unaware that it wasn’t the sharp blade. Jimmy moved on to caressing his belly with it, all the way up to his chest, where he flipped it around and teased a nipple with the very tip of it. Robert hissed, then moaned in surprise as he made a small cut through it. Jimmy immediately leaned in and started sucking his nipple, tasting blood again. Robert arched his back and moaned again. 

“Fuck... oh god, Jimmy... this is...” he stammered and Jimmy bit down on the already quite abused nipple to shut him up. 

“Shh... I told you to be quiet.” He said. He licked Robert’s nipple once more before sitting back again and admiring his lover. His eyes were squeezed shut tightly and he was biting his lower lip to keep himself from babbling mindlessly. His fists were clenched and he was hard and throbbing. His heart was racing. Jimmy grinned to himself. “Stay still, ok? Do not move.” He reminded him. 

He started tracing the contours of Robert’s muscles with the blade, first his abs, then his pecs, sometimes pressing down just a little, just enough to make the most shallow little cut. Robert’s breath hitched when he dragged it across his collar bones and Jimmy chuckled when he traced the throbbing pulse in Robert’s neck with it, feeling it pounding against the blade.

Jimmy then changed the way he was holding the knife, holding it more like a pen now. He rested the side of his palm on Robert’s chest, a little left of where he was holding the stethoscope with his other hand. He smirked at the way he could feel the pounding of his lover’s heart even there. 

He then started carving his initials into Robert’s skin right above his heart. Not deeply enough to leave a scar, just deeply enough for Robert to see later.

JP

Once he was done, he put the knife down again and started licking at the little wounds.

“Open your eyes.” He whispered in between some licks before going back to what he’d been doing, tonguing at the various little incisions he’d made. He kept his eyes trained on Robert’s face though as the blonde opened his eyes to look down at him. He made sure to smear some blood all over his mouth, chin and jaw, remembering how much that had turned Robert on. 

“Fuck, Jimmy.” Robert gasped as he saw him. His eyes then traveled to the initials carved into the skin on his chest and he groaned. “Fucking hell... who’s the romantic now?” He asked, slightly amused despite how aroused he was. Jimmy grinned.

“Not romantic. Just possessive. You’re mine and I’ve marked you.” He growled. He removed the chestpiece and took the earpieces out, putting the stethoscope away. “I need to fuck you.” He said. 

“Oh God, yes please...” Robert moaned. “I want you so bad.”

“Get some lube and prepare yourself for me. I want to watch you finger yourself.” Jimmy said, leaning back on the sofa. Robert blushed and quickly got off the sofa, getting the little jar, then looking around the room to find a good spot. He decided to lounge in one of the armchairs opposite the sofa and put his legs over the armrests to give Jimmy a good view. 

He was obviously a little self conscious and nervous about the way he put himself on display, but he opened the jar and took some of the thick jelly, spreading it over his fingers slowly. 

Jimmy quickly opened his pants and pulled them as well as his underwear down a little, starting to stroke himself as he watched. Robert made a little sound as he saw that and bit his lip. He started slowly circling his entrance and rested his head back against the back of the armchair. He closed his eyes and willed himself to relax. 

“You’re gorgeous, baby...” Jimmy whispered as Robert moaned, slipping the first finger inside. “You’re so beautiful... yes, come on, prepare yourself for me, love.” 

The blonde whimpered and started moving his finger slowly and soon slid another one inside, starting to stretch himself a little. He changed the angle of his hand a little and sighed when he found that spot inside that made him feel so good. He rubbed it a little and moaned.

“Remember what I told you earlier? You only get to come when I tell you to. Don’t forget that.” Jimmy reminded him and Robert stopped. He opened his eyes again to look at his lover, stretching himself a little more.

“I’m ready.” He said. 

“Come here. I want you to ride me.” Jimmy said. Robert groaned and got up, gingerly walked back over to the sofa and straddled his boyfriend.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so, so long.” He moaned as he positioned himself.

“Wait... don’t you wanna slick me up first?” Jimmy asked. Robert shook his head. 

“I want to feel you... if there’s too much... it’s not as good.” He said and took Jimmy’s cock in his hand, guiding it in as he slowly sank down on it. Having only prepared himself a little, he was incredibly tight and Jimmy moaned, trying hard not to just thrust up into him. Robert took him in all the way and leaned in a little to kiss him. “Perfect.” He whispered breathlessly. 

“Fuck, yes...” Jimmy moaned in turn and thrust his hips just a little, then pulled Robert into a heated, open-mouthed kiss. He was still wearing all of his clothes so Robert couldn’t really touch him, but he took advantage of the blonde being naked and let his hands roam his body, feeling some of the still slightly raised welts on his back and the little scratches on his chest. “Move.” 

Robert did, slowly circling his hips a little, then slowly moving up and down, his eyes never leaving Jimmy’s. The brunette started meeting his movements halfway, thrusting up into him. He soon quickened their pace, putting his hands on Robert’s hips and forcing him to move faster.

“Do you want to come?” He asked breathlessly.

“I... yes... please...” Robert moaned. 

“Do you think you deserve it?” Jimmy asked. 

“Deserve...? I... I’ve been good, yes... please Jimmy... please. I did everything you told me to, I was so good...” He begged, looking down at the dark haired man with pleading eyes. 

“Yes... you were...” Jimmy agreed, pushing up against him harder. “I do think... you deserve to come.” He said. “Come on... make yourself come on my cock.”

Robert whimpered again and started moving faster, reaching down to starting jerking himself off in time with their thrusts. 

“Oh fuck... Jimmy... Jimmy...” He gasped as he came. Jimmy kept thrusting into him, holding on to his hips with bruising strength. It took him a few more thrusts into he climaxed as well. Robert leaned in to rest his body against the other man’s. They stayed still for a while, catching their breath.

“That was... fucking amazing.” Jimmy breathed after a while, nuzzling Robert’s neck. 

“Hmmmmhmm...” Robert agreed lazily and wrapped his arms around the brunette’s neck, snuggling closer. “I love you.” He whispered. 

“I love you, too... and I’m not really mad at you, I hope you know that.” Jimmy said. Robert nodded. 

“I know. I’m glad we did this... you were so incredibly hot.” He purred, smiling to himself. 

“So were you... I love how much you trust me and how you give yourself to me completely when we do this...” Jimmy sighed, wrapping his arms around the other man tightly. “And I meant what I said. I might come around to talking to you about... certain things, but... I want to decide when the time has come.” 

“Alright. I promise I won’t ask again. I really AM sorry I made you uncomfortable.” Robert sighed.

“It’s ok... it’s all better now.” Jimmy said and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little comment would make my entire year, you know? Thank you.


	9. Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Jimmy finally talk about Jimmy's issues and he finally comes to terms with his own desires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! :D
> 
> So I finally got these two guys to talk. It wasn't easy, let me tell you that! I really hope Jimmy finally realizes that it's ok. :)
> 
> I switched back to Robert's POV, btw., since it made more sense, especially considering how the chapter begins. 
> 
> Btw, for those of you who are reading this only for the cardiophilia aspect without realizing who these people I'm writing about actually are: Hello and welcome! This story takes place in 1969/1970! That's why the 'lube' they use is in a little jar. It's vaseline. That's basically all they had back then, not the best, but better than saliva, you know. That's why the heart rate monitor from a few chapters back may have seemed outdated to you, too!

Robert’s POV

Robert struggled with the key as he unlocked the door to Jimmy’s house. He was carrying several bags full of groceries, so getting the little key into the lock was a little difficult. He managed after a while and entered the house, kicking the door shut behind himself. 

He set the bags with the groceries down and took off the stupid baseball cap he’d been wearing to hide his blonde curls underneath, chucking it on the coat rack. He took off the sunglasses that hid his eyes and smirked in satisfaction as the cap landed perfectly on one of the coathangers. 

He’d agreed to do the shopping for this week while Jimmy stayed home. They always took turns and never went out together, always in disguise. 

Of course they could have had stuff brought to them, they had the money and the people to do so after all, but Robert liked to keep some sort of normalcy in his life. He didn’t like everything handed to him, everyone stumbling over their own feet to please him, people working for him. He wanted to live a normal life as much as possible, even if it meant going grocery shopping in disguise. 

He took off his coat and put it on a coat hanger as well, then picked up the bags again and took them to the kitchen, starting to sort the things he bought into the fridge, the freezer or various kitchen cabinets. 

Just when he was almost done, he heard some unsteady footsteps, a dull, banging noise, a muffled “ow” and a giggle. He raised an eyebrow and peered out of the kitchen into the hall.

Jimmy flung himself into his arms and Robert dropped a box of rice to catch him and steady him so he wouldn’t fall face first into the kitchen. The brunette buried his face in Robert’s chest, rubbing his cheek against it like a cat.

“I... fucking missed you.” He slurred, clinging to the blonde heavily. Robert wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, staring down at him in surprise. 

“I... I’ve only been gone for like... two hours?” He said, confused. “How did you get so drunk...? *Why* did you get so drunk?” He asked. 

Jimmy raised his head and grinned up at him drunkenly. He then tiptoed to kiss Robert sloppily, crashing his mouth against the other man’s almost uncomfortably as he lost his balance again. Robert moved his hands to Jimmy’s shoulders to push him away a little, looking down at the dark haired mess in his arms. 

“Ah... not just drunk, I see.” He sighed as he saw the state of Jimmy’s eyes. He could hardly make out any green at all, his pupils were so blown. “What happened?” 

Jimmy planted his feet on the floor steadily and took a deep breath.

“I jusss... I thhhought...” He frowned at himself and how much he was slurring and sighed, taking another moment to compose himself. “I thought we could... you know... talk, today, and I thought... a bit of liquid courage would help and I... got carried away.” He rambled, a little more steadily. Robert blinked at him and brushed a stray lock of wild, dark hair out of his face.

“Talk?” He asked. “Oh... talk. I see.” Robert said as realization dawned on him. He sighed heavily and pulled the skinnier man closer. He had underestimated just how difficult that sort of thing was for Jimmy. The brunette sighed happily and rubbed his cheek against Robert’s chest again.

“Hmm... I love you, so... so so much. Do you know that?” He said and Robert chuckled. It was like booze turned Jimmy into a different person.

“Alright, who are you and where is my boyfriend?” He asked, making the drunk man giggle. 

“He’s not home. I sent him away so we could have... a con... a conver.... conservation.” He said, then frowned. “Wait, that’s not right.” He whispered and Robert laughed. As much as he hated that Jimmy had felt the need to get himself in such a state, he was awfully adorable. 

“Well, for now, you’re going to have a glass of water.” He decided and turned around to go fetch one. Jimmy wobbled unsteadily on his feet so Robert took his hands and lead him to the table, making him sit down. He grabbed a large glass and filled it, setting it down in front of the dark haired man at the table. “Drink.” he prompted. 

Jimmy picked up the glass and sipped, then made a face. “This is not as good as what I had earlier.” He pouted. Robert laughed and shook his head.

“Drink!” He said again and Jimmy did, reluctantly. 

“There, happy? I’m gonna have to pee in the middle of our con... our talk.” He pouted as he set the glass down. 

“You’re gonna have to pee either way. How much did you drink?” Robert asked as he sat down at the table as well. Jimmy thought for a moment.

“Hmm,just a bottle of wine.” He said. When Robert gave him a look, he sighed. “Ok, ok, my friend Jack Daniel’s came to visit, too. Just a bit.” He admitted. The blonde reached out to take his hands, gently rubbing his thumbs over the back of them.

“If you think I’m going to have an important conversation with you in the state you’re in, you’re mistaken.” He said softly, looking into those almost black eyes. The guitarist pouted again.

“But Robert...” He whined. “I’m alright, I can think and talk just fine... and now I feel up for it, too!” He argued. 

“You can’t even say ‘conversation’ properly, Jimmy.” Robert smiled at the other man teasingly. 

“It’s a difficult word, ok?” The guitarist said with a glare. “Please, Robert? I can’t do this sober.”

“Why is this so hard for you? We’ve talked, before, and it was alright.” The blonde sighed. “It just... seems to be getting worse and I don’t like it.” Jimmy shrugged.

“Well, the topic’s more... personal. Deeper. I don’t know how to deal with it.” He explained. “I was drunk when we admitted our feelings for each other, remember? I was drunk when I told you about my dream, too.”

“True. But you weren’t drunk when we talked after we came back from the last tour, were you? That was quite the conversation, too, and you managed.” Robert wondered. Jimmy looked away and sighed, unable to meet his boyfriend’s eyes. 

“What if I told you I was?” He whispered after a while. “Not *very* drunk, but... I did have some just before you got home. Brushed my teeth so you wouldn’t know.” He admitted. Robert cursed. 

“Bloody hell, Jimmy.” He whispered, holding the other man’s hands more tightly. “This is getting out of hand. You know you can trust me, why is this such an issue?”

“I do trust you! It’s not that! I just... really hate it. The words never come and I never know what to say, how to express what I’m feeling and it makes me so uncomfortable and it just comes more easily when I’m drunk, ok!” Jimmy rambled. 

“Were you ever sober when you told me that you love me?” Robert asked after a moment of silence. Jimmy drew in a breath in surprise. 

“What...? Of course! All the time! At Headley Grange... and then, remember that beautiful clearing in the forest, with the little pond? I was sober and I told you then. I’ve told you so many times after we had sex and I was sober most of the time.” He said. Robert thought he looked a little hurt and cursed himself.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to question that.” He sighed. “I do know that you love me... and I love you, too.” He said with a little smile. “Well... I still want you to sober up just a little, but then... alright, we’ll talk.” He decided and Jimmy beamed at him.

“Thank you.” he whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m such an emotionally unstable mess.” He added.

“It’s ok. I’m just... worried about you. You drink way too much. On tour... I understand. But at home? You need to stop.” He said and Jimmy nodded.

“I know.” He whispered and wriggled a little in his chair. Robert raised an eyebrow.

“You need to pee.” He stated and Jimmy nodded. The blonde chuckled, amused. “Alright, go ahead, then... meet me in the living room?” He suggested. Jimmy nodded again and got up. He seemed a lot more steady on his feet now as he made his way out of the kitchen. Robert sighed and rested his head in his palms for a moment. He was more than just a little worried about Jimmy, but there was little he could do right now. 

He may be the younger one in the couple, but in a lot of ways, he was the more mature one, anyway, especially when it came to things like these. He knew how to cope with his feelings, Jimmy just... didn’t. He always turned to alcohol or drugs, sometimes both, to dull them down or ignore them completely. It scared Robert.

He wondered if it had something to do with Jimmy’s parents. He knew they were rather stern and cold. Maybe he just never learned to talk about this. Maybe they told him feelings were something to be kept inside and not ever spoken about. Or worse, maybe they told him that boys didn’t have feelings. Robert’s parents were different, they always encouraged him, Robert had a lot of hippy friends who always very open about this sort of thing, so it came very easily to him. 

He knew Jimmy had grown up rather lonely, he probably never had anyone to talk to. He sighed again and got up, picking up the box of rice he’d dropped earlier to catch his drunk boyfriend. He put it away, gabbed another bottle of water and two glasses, then made his way to the living room. He sat on the sofa to wait for Jimmy. 

When the brunette returned, he looked a little more sober again as he joined Robert on the sofa. He leaned in to kiss the blonde gently as he was pulled in his lap and Robert smiled as he tasted mint. Jimmy had obviously made an effort to sober up a little, brushing his teeth and all. Maybe he wasn’t *too* drunk for this after all. Seeing Jimmy like this, looking so small, so young and so vulnerable made Robert feel all kinds of things, not all of them innocent.

“Alright... what did you want to tell me?” He asked, gathering the other man into his arms, holding him close. Jimmy blinked.

“Tell you?” He asked, biting his lip. “I thought... you could just... sort of... set me straight?” He wondered. “You know... explain what’s happening to me.” Robert raised an eyebrow at him.

“You want us to talk about what you’re going through... but you want me to do the talking?” He asked, amused. Jimmy nodded.

“You know better what I’m feeling than I do, most of the time.” He pouted. He wasn’t entirely wrong, Robert had a pretty good idea what was going on, but on the other hand, he didn’t know why it was such a big deal. 

“Well... I just... I don’t understand why you feel so ashamed.” He said softly, caressing the other man’s cheek. “When we talked about it the first time, you seemed alright, but then it changed. I don’t know what happened.” Robert said.

Jimmy was quiet for a moment and his cheek turned red. “I... The memories just... came flooding back and I... I remembered how I acted, what I let you do, what I asked you to do, how I... begged you.” He mumbled, lowering his gaze and sitting up a little, trying to get out of Robert’s embrace. The blonde didn’t let him and pulled him closer again. 

“So what? You’ve made me beg, too.” Robert argued. 

“Not like that. You never... got as desperate and needy as me.” He whispered. “I was ridiculous.” 

“That’s just not true. If you were ridiculous, then I was even more ridiculous, begging you to let me come, begging you to cut me more, begging you to fuck me.” Robert said. He couldn’t help himself, this conversation brought back memories and it made him horny. Jimmy blinked at him. 

“But that’s ok. I wanted you to...” He trailed off and sighed. “Don’t say it. I know. You wanted to do that to me, too. It was ok.” He said softly and Robert nodded.

“Exactly. Double standards, you know? For some reason, it’s perfectly fine for you to reduce me to a trembling, begging mess, but when I do the same to you, you feel awful about it, even though you enjoy it.”

“I do enjoy it... while we’re doing that... while I’m in that state... it feels so, so good... and then, afterwards, I feel so guilty and ashamed for letting go like that.” He sighed. “I don’t even really know why.” 

“Because you’re used to being in control. In every aspect of your life, you’ve always been in control, from when you were little until now. When it comes to music and then, when it comes to us. Then I showed you what it’s like to let go and you liked it, you really, really liked it, but it also confused you.” Robert said and Jimmy nodded. 

“Yes. I was scared, too, you know. By how much I needed it. I really, really craved it when we were on tour and I couldn’t get it and it drove me insane.” He sighed. “I had half a mind to start a fight with you or something, just to get... something.” 

“That wouldn’t have been very satisfying, now, would it?” Robert laughed. “It helps you unwind, doesn’t it? When you’re feeling tense. I noticed.” Jimmy blushed again and nodded.

“Yes. When I feel like that... and then you... you know... and all the tension just... melts away and I feel warm, relaxed, heavy and peaceful.” He mumbled. “It’s better than any drug I’ve ever taken.” 

“Hmmmhm. I know. I feel like that, too. Maybe not to that extent, but I know what it’s like.” Robert agreed. “You were the one who told me how powerful sex can be. Remember? Those books you were reading, by that Crowley guy? About sex and sex magick and rituals and all that?” 

“Well... yes. I just... never expected to be on the receiving end... to be under its spell like that.” The brunette said softly.

“As I said... if it makes you that uncomfortable, we don’t have to do it ever again.” Robert said gently, running his fingers through the thick, dark hair. 

“But I want to. I really, really want to... I need it.” Jimmy admitted, turning his head to nuzzle the singer’s palm. “I just, somehow, need to come to terms with that fact.” 

“It’s really not as bad as you think it is.” Robert cooed. “I mean... we don’t even play those games very often. Most of the time, we’re just... we just have regular, good old sex.” He chuckled. “But when we do play those games, it gets very, very intense. Maybe that scares you a little.” 

“Maybe.” Jimmy nodded. “That first time... when you...” he trailed off and blushed even more as he remembered. “You were so... very different, but you were still... you. I didn’t expect you to be so dominant. I didn’t expect you to be so... ruthless, either. You really hurt me, punished me when I didn’t do as you said, and it... turned me on so damn much I thought I was gonna come on the spot.” He admitted.

Robert shifted a little on the sofa, this was starting to turn him on more and more. He longed to see Jimmy like that again. 

“I know.” He breathed. “I loved seeing you like that. You have no idea how gorgeous you are when I’ve got you in my control like that.”

Jimmy pulled back a little to blink at him. He was quite obviously more than just a little turned on, too. He then leaned back in to kiss him, almost shyly, and Robert deepened the kiss. Jimmy pressed his body closer to Roberts and sighed. 

“You’d let me to anything to you, wouldn’t you...” He purred. A part of him felt bad for starting this now, considering the state Jimmy was in, on the other hand, he couldn’t really help himself either. 

“I... I would.” Jimmy whispered, hiding his face in the crook of Robert’s neck. “I’d let you torture me all you want... I know you like to make my heart struggle... I’d stop it for you if I could.” He whispered and Robert gasped.

“Fuck, Jimmy... don’t... EVER... say that again!” He said and kissed the brunette forcefully. “That... that’s not what I want! Ever. That’s the last thing I want! Fucking hell.” He was utterly terrified by Jimmy’s admission.

“I’m sorry...” The guitarist mumbled, lowing his head. “I thought that’s what... turned you on.”

“Fuck, no! No!” Robert shook his head. “I like this...” He reached out and gently rested his hand on Jimmy’s chest. “... because you’re alive... you’re here, with me, alive and your heart is beating. That’s beautiful. I enjoy... having the power to make it beat faster. Never to... to... stop it!” He said. 

Jimmy sighed and covered Robert’s hand with his own, pressing it against his chest more tightly. The blonde couldn’t help but notice that his heart beating strangely slowly. The drugs he popped must have been downers, then, some sort of sedative. That had always been Jimmy’s favorite, he only opted for uppers when he needed to work on an album or during parties.

“You said you want to torture it... make it beat so fast it can’t take it anymore.” Jimmy whispered. Robert felt it speed up a tiny bit underneath his palm, despite the drugs. “I thought you meant...”

“I... I did say that, but I didn’t mean I want to make it stop.” He answered and kissed the brunette gently. “I’d want it to keep beating forever and ever... for me.” He said and leaned in to rest his head on the other man’s chest, listening to the slow, steady thumping. “I love that I can make it beat really, really fast... I was so fascinated with how fast it can get... I can’t get mine to beat that quickly, no matter what I do, I’d never get my heart rate over 200. Your heart is amazing.” He said and heard Jimmy chuckle.

“I didn’t know mine could do that, either.” He admitted, gently playing with Robert’s curls. “Maybe only you can make it do that.” 

“Hmm, I think so.” Robert said and turned his head a little to kiss the center of Jimmy’s chest. “The way your heart responds to me is so, so beautiful... if it stopped, it wouldn’t do that anymore, now, would it?”

“No... and that would be sad.” Jimmy whispered and kissed the top of Robert’s head, a little smile on his lips. The blonde rested his head back on the other man’s chest and closed his eyes, listening.

“Please go easy on the drugs, Jimmy... please. This is scary.” Robert sighed.

“Why? Because it’s so slow now?” The guitarist asked and Robert nodded.

“Yeah... it’s never this slow when you know that I’m listening to it. You always get excited.” He said. “I don’t like that there’s drugs that would take that away. I... I don’t want you to get hooked either... I wouldn’t know what to do if you became addicted.” 

“I won’t!” Jimmy said immediately. “I know what I’m doing...”

“Do you, though? You said you only wanted some liquid courage... but you got carried away.” Robert argued. 

“Well... it worked out, in the end, didn’t it? We talked about it.” 

“Did it help, at all? Do you feel any better about it?” Robert asked, still listening. Jimmy was quiet for a while, thinking. 

“It did.” He said, then. “It might take me a bit longer to really accept it and embrace it... but I no longer feel that ashamed. I would never admit it to anybody but you and I would never do these things with anybody but you... but I think I’ll feel comfortable letting go, when I’m with you.” He finished. Robert smiled.

“That’s good.” He said, happy that Jimmy was slowly coming to terms with his own desires and hoping that this time, it’ll last. 

“Robert...? I think I need you to make love to me.” Jimmy then whispered and Robert chuckled. He remembered the first (and last) time he’d used that phrase and how Jimmy had laughed at him for that. 

“You do?” He asked softly and raised his head to look up at the other man. He wanted to grant him his wish, he’d be more than happy to. 

“Hmmhm, I really, really do.” Jimmy said, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Tell me what you want, baby.” Robert said and kissed him gently. 

“I want... I just want you to... hold me and touch me and... be gentle with me.” He admitted. Robert smiled and kissed him again. He loved that. Jimmy had never asked for that before.

“I can do that.” He said. “D’you think I can get this to speed up a little?” He asked, kissing the left side of Jimmy’s chest. 

“I’m pretty sure you can, yes.” Jimmy answered and blushed. Robert smirked at him.

“I love how that always makes you blush.” He said, reaching up to caress a reddening cheek. “You’re adorable.” Jimmy looked down and leant into his palm a little. “We should take this to the bedroom... hold on to me.” Robert then said.

Jimmy wrapped his arms around Robert’s shoulders and squealed as the blonde just got up from the sofa. He quickly wrapped his legs around the other man’s hips, laughing. 

“Hmm, you’re so strong.” He purred and nuzzled Robert’s neck as the other started walking towards their bedroom, careful not to bump into anything. 

“And you love it.” Robert grinned. “You love being manhandled and carried around.”

“I can’t deny that I do.” Jimmy sighed and started to kiss along Robert’s neck, starting behind his ear, all the way to this collar bones, first on the left, then on the right side of his neck. With his legs wrapped around Robert’s hips like that, every step the blonde took created delicious friction between them.

Robert gently lowered him on the bed once they reached the bedroom, following him right away. Jimmy had asked for gentle lovemaking, so that was exactly what he was going to get. 

Jimmy looked up at him with wide eyes, then pulled him down into a kiss.

“Robert, I... I’m sorry I got so drunk and... and high.” He whispered, then, bashful. “I don’t want you... to think that I can’t talk to you without that stuff.” Robert almost pointed out that he literally wasn’t able to, though, but he changed his mind and silenced Jimmy with another kiss. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess...”

“It’s ok... just try... not to do it again? Ok?” He murmured instead. 

“I promise I’ll try.” The brunette said solemnly, still looking up at Robert with those big, dark eyes. The blonde believed him. He knew he probably wouldn’t manage, at least not right away, but he believed he’d at least try. He gave the other man a little smile and caressed his cheek again. 

“So... you said you wanted me to be gentle, hm?” He asked. Jimmy nodded.

“Yeah, just... love me, please. I just need to feel you close to me. Your skin on mine.” He sighed. Robert’s smile widened at that, Jimmy was just too adorable right now. He’d never asked for that before and of course Robert absolutely loved it. He sat up a little to gently slide his hands underneath Jimmy’s shirt. 

The other man sighed at the touch and smiled at him encouragingly, raising his arms so Robert could take off his shirt. He tossed it aside and sat up to take off his own shirt as well, immediately covering Jimmy’s body with his own. The brunette made a pleased sound at the feeling of skin on skin and wrapped his arms around Robert’s neck as they kissed. 

“What do *you* want, Robert?” He then asked and blinked at him. 

“This. This is perfect.” The blonde answered with a smile. “I just want to feel you and make you feel good...” He said and Jimmy smiled back at him and pulled him back down for another kiss, gently sliding his hands up Robert’s back. The singer kissed his way along his lover’s jaw to his neck, sucking on that spot that he knew would make him sigh and shiver in pleasure. 

He loved the gooseflesh his fingertips raised on Jimmy’s skin as he caressed him and the little sounds of pleasure the brunette now allowed himself to make, the way he leant into a touch or how he shied away when he was ticklish. 

Robert quickly got them out of the rest of their clothes, carelessly tossing them off the bed before snuggling close to his boyfriend again. He lay down next to him and pressed the length of his body along the other man’s side. He gently trailed the tip of his finger down the inside of Jimmy’s arm that he’d rested above his head, smiling at the little shiver that ran through his body at the touch. 

He didn’t get to touch Jimmy like this very often, they usually got too excited too quickly and ended up bringing each other off quickly with their hands, or their mouths, wherever they were at that point, so Robert took his time to enjoy this as much as he possibly could. He teased first one nipple, then then the other, never taking his eyes off of his lover. He spread his palm over the smooth skin of Jimmy’s belly and slowly caressed downwards, but avoided the other’s hardening length for now. 

Instead, he caressed a sharp hipbone, then let his hand travel lower to caress the inside of his thighs. He lowered his head to pepper tender kisses on Jimmy’s neck and shoulder, his collar bones, then down his chest. He smiled when he pressed his lips to Jimmy’s chest.

“It is a little faster now...” He mused, pleased with his observation. 

“You... you can rest your head there, if you want.” Jimmy offered shyly, sounding a little nervous. Robert gladly took the offer and snuggled even closer to his boyfriend, resting his head on the skinnier man’s chest. He felt his breath hitch and heard his heart rate pick up ever so slightly as Jimmy’s arms came up to wrap around his shoulder, the other tangling in his hair. He loved how clearly he could hear the soft, beautiful lub-dub and how intimate this was. 

“Hmm, sounds like I’m better than drugs...” He said with a little smirk and Jimmy laughed. 

“You absolutely are.” He agreed, moving his hand to tousle Robert’s hair a little. The blonde closed his eyes as he slowly slid his hand back down Jimmy’s body, along his belly, to wrap it around his hardening cock and started to gently pump and stroke it, all slowly and lazily. 

Jimmy arched slightly beneath him and sighed softly. His heart started to beat just a little faster with every firm movement of Robert’s hand. When his breathing became more quick and shallow and he started clutching Robert’s shoulder, the blonde stopped, listening to his heart slow down again.

“This must be the most beautiful sound in the world.” He sighed and tilted his head a little to kiss Jimmy’s chest again. 

“Yeah...?” Jimmy breathed, gently caressing Robert’s back now, tracing the muscles there, then just along his spine. 

“Hmhm...” The blonde hummed. “Hey, reach into the drawer over there and give me the lube.” He then said, he just didn’t want to move away from Jimmy, not even an inch. He smiled to himself when Jimmy’s heart started thumping harder in anticipation.

The brunette shifted a little on the bed to reach the drawer and fumbled for a moment before he managed to grab the little plastic jar to give it to his lover. 

“Put your leg over mine...” Robert said and reached down to raise Jimmy’s left leg to put it over his own hip and thighs. Jimmy angeled his other leg, then let it fall to the bed, exposing himself completely. “Yes, just like that...” Robert whispered and caressed the smooth, milky white skin on the inside of his thigh. 

Their position was a tad bit awkward, with them all tangled up like that, but he didn’t want to move away and he’d still be able to reach Jimmy just fine, like this.

“You know... you could just go and get a steth from the other room if you wanna keep listening...” Jimmy suggested, amused, but Robert shook his head.

“No... I wanna feel you, too... this is much more intimate. I wanna stay right here, it’s perfect. Unless you’re uncomfortable?” He asked. This time, Jimmy shook his head.

“No, it’s... really nice. I love feeling the weight of your head on my chest, actually, and I did say I want to feel you close to me.” He admitted, running his hand through the blonde curls gently. Robert smiled again, happy that Jimmy was enjoying this just as much as he was and placed the little jar on the bed next to them, opened it and slicked up two of his fingers. The brunette eagerly spread his legs a little more.

“Someone’s eager...” Robert chuckled as he slid his fingers across Jimmy’s perineum, then started gently massaging it.

“Yes... I want you... badly.” Jimmy gasped. “But... take your time... and be gentle.” He added a little worriedly. Robert didn’t think anybody ever wished their dick was smaller, but sometimes he couldn’t help but think how nice it would be if he didn’t hurt Jimmy every single time he wanted to sleep with him. 

“I will be... I promise I’ll be as careful as I possibly can be.” He whispered and raised his head to kiss along Jimmy’s neck as he slid his finger lower, slowly circling the little entrance until he slowly slid his finger inside. Jimmy put his hand on Robert’s jaw to turn his head a little more so he could kiss him. The blonde couldn’t help but notice that although his head wasn’t resting on Jimmy’s chest anymore, he could still, faintly, make out the thumping of his heart in this position and it made him smile into the kiss. 

He slowly slid his finger in deeper until Jimmy moaned into the kiss and pushed back against it. Robert started kissing his neck again, a little lower with every kiss, then down his chest, until he licked across a nipple before taking it into his mouth, all the while slowly massaging Jimmy’s prostate. 

The little sounds the brunette was making grew louder and more desperate with each passing second and he tensed up a little after a while. Robert was surprised, he didn’t think he’d get Jimmy that close to coming just from this. He slowed down a little and rested his head on his lover’s chest again. His heart was definitely pounding now, despite the drugs in his system still trying to slow it down, but Robert knew it was nowhere near as quick as it would have been without them.

“A second finger was added easily and Jimmy arched his back a little again. Robert took his sweet time preparing his lover, making sure he wouldn’t hurt him. 

“Rob... do you think... d’you think it’s slow enough now so that we can... do that thing you said the last time...?” Jimmy asked in between little gasps and sighs, slightly incoherent. It took the blonde a moment to understand what he meant and the thought turned him on. 

“What, fuck you in time with your heartbeat?” He asked, raising his head to grin at the brunette, who nodded. 

“Yeah, that.” He breathed, biting his lip.

“Hm, I don’t know... it’s still pretty fast... but I can try.” Robert grinned teasingly.

“If you give me some time, it’ll slow down again...” Jimmy argued, then moaned as Robert’s fingers brushed that special spot inside him again. He probably hadn’t even noticed the third finger being added or the way Robert was slowly stretching him.

“Hmmhm. We’ll give it a try.” Robert agreed and kissed him again. He hissed in surprise as he felt Jimmy’s cool, slick fingers gliding along his cock. He had been to transfixed by the sound of his heartbeat and the little sighs and moans that he hadn’t noticed Jimmy reaching for the little jar to slick him up, too. He moaned and buried his face in the crook of Jimmy’s neck. “Fuck, I want you.” 

“Then take me, if you think I’m ready...” Jimmy whispered and Robert heard the cheekily little grin on his face even though he couldn’t see it. Jimmy’s words made him groan again and he almost bit down on his neck, but he remembered him asking for gentle, not rough, this time, so he refrained. 

“Yeah, I think you might just be...” He purred and licked along Jimmy’s neck once, just along where he could feel his pulse, before he slowly sat up and got between the brunette’s legs. 

Jimmy looked up at him, all flushed and gorgeous, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. He let his eyes wander over his body, all the way to the hand between his legs. 

“Raise your hips a little...” He whispered and Jimmy immediately complied, planting his feet on the bed on either side of Robert and raising his hips. “Perfect...” 

He lined himself up with the fingers he’d kept inside his lover and slowly pushed in, using his fingers to guide himself in. Jimmy’s eyes widened when he realized what Robert’s was doing, actually *adding* his cock to his fingers instead of replacing them with it and he moaned when he noticed that it didn’t hurt. 

“Fuck, Robert...” He gasped and the blonde grinned.

“See...? See how easily you can take me, and three fingers, now?” He whispered breathlessly. “And you still feel so, so tight...” He added when he finally pulled out his fingers and slid in all the way. 

“Oh my god... yes...” Jimmy moaned and wrapped his legs around Robert’s hips, pulling him in even further. The blonde quickly wiped his hand on the sheet and grinned at his lover.

“Put your arms up next to your head...” He said. It took Jimmy a moment to process the (almost) order, but then he did as Robert requested, slightly confused. 

“Oh...” he breathed when Robert slid his hands up his arms and grasped his wrists. He rested most of his weight on his hands, pressing Jimmy’s wrists into the bed as he dug his fingers into the pulse points there until he felt the strong, steady thrumming on each side. 

“And now, we wait.” Robert said, a small teasing smile still on his face as he looked down at his slightly dazed boyfriend. 

“W-wait?” Jimmy stammered and the blonde laughed.

“Yes. If I start at this pace, I’ll be done in a few seconds.” He said, tightening his grasp on Jimmy’s wrists a little so the brunette would feel how fast his pulse was right now. “And you don’t want that, do you?” He blushed further as that didn’t help with slowing his heart down at all and he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. 

It took a few seconds for it to start slowing down and a little longer to settle at the slow, drugged out pace it had been at earlier. 

Robert started moving then, pulling out just a little with one beat, then thrusting back in with the next beat of Jimmy’s heart. 

He kept the rhythm up until the other’s heart started speeding up again thanks to the stimulation and he was forced to move faster. He leaned down to kiss and lick along Jimmy’s neck, but he soon had to stop as he struggled to keep up the pace. 

When it got too fast for him to keep up, he let go of Jimmy’s wrists, supported his weight with one arm and reached down to start pumping the other man’s cock as he continued to thrust into him. 

Jimmy wrapped his arms around Robert and started clawing at his back, his long nails scratching him a little as he pushed back against Robert’s thrusts and up into his fist, making desperate little sounds. 

The blonde was determined to make his lover come first, this time, and started jerking him off faster. 

“Fuck... Robert!” Jimmy cried out as he climaxed. Robert followed almost immediately, incredibly turned on by Jimmy crying out his name and scratching his back, hard. He’d never done that before. He rode it out for a moment before stopping his movements and catching his breath. 

He pulled out carefully and slowly rested his body on top of the smaller man, nuzzling his neck. Like this, he felt Jimmy’s heart still pounding like a jackhammer in his chest, as well as his own, almost slamming against each other, and it felt incredible. 

“I don’t want you to move, ever...” Jimmy whispered, softly caressing his back. “I want to stay like this forever.” 

“Me too...” Robert said, smiling against Jimmy’s neck. “This is fucking perfect.” 

“YOU are fucking perfect. You were so, so good...” Jimmy sighed. “And you lasted so long...” He added, slightly teasingly.

“Hey... I’m getting better, ok? It’s difficult, you’re so hot and so tight and...” he trailed off and chuckled. “I really didn’t hurt you this time, did I?” 

“You really didn’t.” Jimmy confirmed. “It was perfect.” He added and they both fell silent for a moment. It was Jimmy who spoke up again after a while.

“Robert?” He whispered. “I’m not ashamed, this time.” He said. Robert blinked, surprised. What they had done was nowhere near as extreme and kinky as what they’d done in the other room, but it occurred to him that for Jimmy, it was probably still a big deal, letting him do that to him, letting go like that. 

“That’s... that’s good. I’m glad. You shouldn’t be.” He whispered and raised his head to peck his lover’s cheek chastely. Jimmy smiled at him widely and pulled him in for a deeper kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave some feedback, tell me what you think! 
> 
> I have one more idea for a next, and last, chapter to this story. We haven't seen Robert on the cross, hooked up to the monitor yet, have we? Do we want to? I know I do! :P


	10. Mind Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy wants to play some more extreme mind games with Robert, dominating, subduing him, messing with his head. He wants to own him entirely.Robert loves it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No cardiophilia in this chapter, sorry. Next one though, promise!

Everything was fine after this, Jimmy gradually relaxed more and wasn’t afraid to tell Robert what he wanted anymore. Or acting on it, for that matter. 

After a while of letting Robert play with him, though, he started to establish his dominance again. It started with him simply taking the upper hand in bed when they were having sex, even though they weren’t playing any games, and slowly progressed to him actually starting to play games with Robert again. 

Robert loved it when Jimmy got playful, especially since it didn’t get sexual right away. Actually, sex was the first thing that was off the table, Jimmy would stop initiating it and he’d gently turn Robert down if the blonde tried. He didn’t even realize right away that he was being played with, if he was completely honest. When he did realize it, it sent a rush of blood between his legs.

It started very subtly, with little smiles and glances, with Jimmy standing way too close to him or brushing against him in any kind of situation, when they were tidying up the kitchen after lunch or when they’d pass each other in the hallway just to get him riled up, touching his skin when he didn’t have to, looking at him in a certain way. 

He started praising Robert whenever the blonde did something that somehow pleased him, however mundane. That’s when Robert noticed that he was up to something. Of course the brunette had caught on to the fact that Robert liked to be praised. After a while, Jimmy had gotten him so far that he got turned on from being praised for taking out the trash. 

Robert sighed at himself, wondering what he’d gotten himself into this time and why he was reacting this way. Jimmy was definitely playing mind games with him at this point. Robert was very much aware of that, but he let it happen anyway, he even enjoyed it. A lot.

By the third day, the brunette started giving him little tasks around the house and Robert quickly did everything Jimmy asked him to do, whether it was fixing something, cleaning something or getting him something from the kitchen, eager for the praise he would receive if he fulfilled his task correctly.

Robert was awfully embarrassed when he actually popped a boner when Jimmy called him a good boy and praised him lovingly for repairing the broken door handle of the pantry. The guitarist just smiled at him knowingly, but he didn’t do anything about it. Robert knew he wasn’t allowed to do anything about it, either. It was all part of the game, so he ignored it and went about his life as if nothing had happened, but the embarrassment stayed fresh in his mind. 

By the fourth day, Jimmy decided that Robert didn’t need to wear clothes around the house. 

“It’s such a shame, hiding that gorgeous body, isn’t it?” He said, trailing a finger down the center of Robert’s chest as the blonde gawked at him in shock. “Don’t look at me like that, take them off...” Jimmy prompted gently, and of course, Robert did, blushing at the appreciative looks the other man gave him. 

He fidgeted nervously and wondered what was going to happen next, but Jimmy didn’t give him any further instructions, he simply went about his daily business as usual, so Robert had to find something to do. He went to the library and curled up in an armchair to read a book, although he found it hard to focus on it. 

After a while, he started shivering a little, it had gotten colder in the house as night fell. He wanted to put something on or put a blanket around himself, but he wasn’t sure if that was against the rules or not. He didn’t want to get punished, he wanted to be good, so he figured asking Jimmy would be the safest bet. He felt his face heat up already as he started to look for his boyfriend. He found him in his study, doing some of the necessary paperwork. He gently knocked on the doorframe to announce his presence. 

“Jimmy?” He asked softly and the brunette looked up from the desk.

“Hey, love. What is it?” He asked and gave the blonde a little smile. Robert couldn’t help but lower his gaze. 

“I’m sorry to disturb... but... I...” he stammered, unsure how to ask. “I’m cold and I didn’t know what to do... what you’d want me to do... if I was allowed to get dressed or a blanket or something... so I thought I’d just... ask.” He finished, embarrassed at his rambling and when he looked up, Jimmy looked very pleased.

“Aww, my poor baby...” He cooed softly. “Hmm, how about this: find yourself a nice blanket and bring it here, you can sit in my lap and I’ll warm you a little while I finish this.” He suggested and Robert beamed at him, that sounded great. He quickly left to find a blanket and returned to the office. 

Jimmy scooted back from the desk a little with his chair so Robert could sit in his lap. The blonde did and Jimmy gently wrapped the blanket around him and let him snuggle against his chest, pressing a gentle kiss to his brow. Robert tried to make himself as small as possible and Jimmy reached around him to continue signing papers and filling out forms. 

“Better?” The brunette asked gently and Robert nodded.

“Much better. Thank you, Jimmy.” He sighed happily and closed his eyes, relaxing against his boyfriend. It didn’t take very long for Jimmy to finish what he was doing. He put the cap back on the elegant, expensive fountain pen he was using and put it away. Robert sighed again as he started rubbing his arms and back gently.

“You were a very, very good boy, coming to me when you were cold, do you know that?” Jimmy cooed and Robert felt his heart swell with pride. “That’s exactly what I want you to do... if you need something, you’ll come to me.”

“Yes, Jimmy.” The younger said, nuzzling his lover’s neck happily. He felt so good right now, he thought he couldn’t possibly be any happier. 

“In fact, you were so good, I have a little present for you.” Jimmy then said and Robert raised his head to blink at him in surprise.

“A present?” He asked and bit his lip. Jimmy nodded and reached over to open one of the drawers of his large, sturdy desk. He pulled out a little jewellery box and handed it to the blonde. Robert quickly wriggled his hands free from the blanket and took it, looking at it and gently caressing the velvet edge. 

“Go on, open it.” Jimmy prompted, smiling at him and brushing a lock of golden hair behind his ear so he could watch his face. Robert slowly slid the lid of the box and put it aside, looking at the contents. He felt his face flush again at the same time as he felt the blood rush between his legs. 

In the box, there was a thin leather collar with a shiny silver ring at the front of it, the back was closed with a silver metal buckle. It was very simple, but the effect it had on Robert was insane. He gasped slightly as he stared at it, then he raised his eyes to look at his lover. 

“Let me put that on you, alright?” Jimmy asked and Robert nodded immediately, sitting up a little straighter. Jimmy carefully took the collar out of the box. “Gather your hair, lift it up a little...” He instructed and Robert raised his arms to do just that while Jimmy opened the collar. He then reached up, put it around the blonde’s neck and closed it in the back. Robert let his hair back down and blinked at his boyfriend.

“Oh Jimmy...” He whispered and bit his lip. He didn’t know what to say, so he just wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck and hugged him tightly. He felt him chuckle softly and caress his back. 

“I was hoping you’d like it...” He said. 

“I do, I love it, I...” He started but trailed off. He felt so happy and excited, at the same time he felt a little humbled and embarrassed, very aroused, but he also felt that wonderful warmth that came with being... owned like this. 

“How do you feel?” Jimmy asked him, then, and he thought for a moment, taking a few deep breaths to center himself a little.

“I... it’s hard to... describe.” He said. “I feel so many different things right now. SO many...”

“It’s alright, baby... just let it happen. Enjoy it.” Jimmy said. Robert closed his eyes again, doing just that.

“I don’t even know... most of all, I feel... that I’m yours. What are you doing to me? All of this is so... intense. You’re driving me crazy and you’re barely even doing anything to me.” Robert whispered after a while. Jimmy just smiled at him mysteriously and pecked his lips chastely. 

“Go, brush your teeth and go to bed, Robert, it’s late. I’ll just put these papers away and join you in a bit.” He said instead of answering, putting the blanket around the younger man’s shoulder as he sent him away. With the way he was being dismissed, Robert figured nothing was going to happen between them that night, but he was fine with that. 

He gave Jimmy one last, gentle kiss before he got up from his lap and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When he was done, he snuggled in bed and waited for Jimmy, trying not to fall asleep before the other man joined him. He didn’t quite manage, he was just about to sleep away when the door to the bedroom opened and Jimmy stepped inside, wearing only his warm, fluffy robe. 

Robert smiled at him sleepily and the brunette smiled back at him, then shrugged off the robe and joined him underneath the blankets. He pulled him close and sighed happily. 

“You kept the collar on. Good boy.” He praised and Robert blushed.

“Of course. Only you get to take it off.” He said softly as he hid his face in Jimmy’s dark hair, inhaling the scent. He felt the other man’s hands tighten their hold on him at his words. 

“Yes...” He whispered. “Is it comfortable enough to sleep in?” He then asked. Robert smiled widely, even like this Jimmy was so loving and caring. He nodded.

“Yes, it’s perfect. I don’t mind it at all.” He said and yawned. 

“Aww, sleepy baby... are you too sleepy to help me out with something?” Jimmy asked, amused, and shifted a little so that the other man could feel that he was a little hard already. Robert got very excited right away but tried to control himself. They were still playing Jimmy’s little game and if he guessed correctly, the brunette would be the only one getting off tonight. Maybe, if he did it particularly well, he’d get a reward?

“I’d never be too tired to pleasure you. Ever.” He said firmly and nuzzled Jimmy’s neck. “What do you want me to do?”

“Hm, start slowly... touch me, caress me... start with your hands and... finish me with your mouth... the rest is up to you.” Jimmy said between little sighs as Robert started kissing his neck. That left Robert quite a bit of room to play with and he wanted to make this good for his lover. He continued kissing his lover’s neck in all the right places, the ones he knew made him sigh and shiver and slowly slid his hands up his torso. When he reached his shoulders, he slowly pushed him on his back.

If Jimmy thought he’d get a quick, simple blowjob, he was sorely mistaken. Robert was determined to blow his mind. Now that Jimmy was on his back, the blonde straddled him and started caressing his torso slowly, teasingly.

“You’re so gorgeous...” Robert whispered, smiling down at the other man. Jimmy laughed softly.

“Why, thank you... you’re not so bad yourself...” He said and reached up to toy with the little ring that was attached to Robert’s collar. “This looks so good on you.” The bond felt himself blush again and smiled shyly, then bent down to kiss Jimmy again. He had to make a conscious effort not to rub himself against the other man as he was pretty sure that that was not part of the deal. He sat up a little to avoid brushing against Jimmy, then started kissing and licking his way down his lover’s neck and chest, taking his time teasing his nipples. 

Jimmy made no move to stop him, or push him further down or anything, he just lay there and enjoyed the attention, so Robert felt encouraged to draw it out a little more. He stopped paying attention to his nipples for now, moving back up to lick along his collar bones and caress the side of his torso with the one hand he wasn’t using to prop himself up with. 

When he finally slid his hand further down to wrap it around Jimmy’s hardening length, the guitarist made a pleased sound and pushed his hips up to meet his touch. Robert loved how he wasn’t afraid to respond like that even in this situation, letting him know he’s enjoying this. It reassured him that he wasn’t being tested and that Jimmy just wanted to feel good, maybe to be worshipped a little. So Robert did just that.

He took his sweet time exploring his lover’s upper body with his lips and tongue while he slowly, but firmly, stroked his shaft. After a few minutes, he slid down the bed to snuggle between Jimmy’s legs. He rested his head on his thigh and looked up at him, briefly made eye contact, then watched his own hand move up and down slowly. 

“I love this so much.” He whispered. “I love pleasuring you, I love making you feel good... and I love your cock.” He added with a cheeky grin. Jimmy laughed softly. 

“I can tell.” He said, reaching down to pet Robert’s hair gently. “I sure feel loved right now.” 

The blonde smiled up at him as innocently as possible, then leaned forward a little and, without warning, took one of Jimmy’s balls into his mouth, sucking on it and moving his tongue against it in a pulsing motion. The other man tensed, arched and cursed, he obviously hadn’t expected that. 

“Fuck... you little...” He gasped and moaned. The hand he’d been petting Robert’s hair with was now tangled in it and tugged at it ever so slightly with every stroke of the other’s hand on his cock. He gave Jimmy a wicked little grin as he let go of the testicle he’d been sucking on and moved on to the other side. When he was done with that, he let his tongue dance up the underside of his lover’s cock, all the way to the tip.

Tonguing along his frenulum earned him a sharp hiss and when he wrapped his lips just around the head and sucked a little, he was rewarded with a low moan again. 

“You’ve got the most gorgeous cock I’ve ever seen.” He whispered as he let it go with a little popping sound. He slid his hand a little lower to massage the area right behind his balls, cupping them gently while doing so. He traced the ridge at the head of Jimmy’s cock with the tip of his tongue, then lightly dug it into his foreskin that was pulled back right behind that ridge. Jimmy whimpered and arched his back, panting softly. 

Robert took pity on him and took him into his mouth again, setting a nice, slow rhythm where he alternated between massaging his perineum, his balls and bobbing his head. He brought his other hand back to the base of his cock and started pumping and stroking it in time as well. Every time he pulled back a little, he made sure to pay special attention to the head with his tongue, swirling it around the glans or licking the slit. 

“Oh... fuck... Robert... that’s so... so good... faster... do it... faster.” Jimmy groaned, trying to thrust up into the blonde’s mouth as well as grind back against his fingers. Robert complied and quickened his pace. He soon felt Jimmy’s cock throb in his mouth as he came. He kept moving his hands, slowing down his movements little by little and tried to swallow as much as he could. Robert kept him in his mouth until the last little throbs and spasms stopped, then slowly let him go. He quickly licked him clean, every little drop he spilled, then rested his head on his thigh again to look up at him and watch him trying to catch his breath. 

“Fuck, Robert... that was amazing...” He whispered when he found his voice again. “You were so good...” Robert beamed up at him happily. He had totally forgotten about his own arousal, he’d been so focused on pleasuring his lover and making it as good as possible for him. 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He said, he couldn’t help being a little proud. He could tell by his lover’s reactions that he’d been good.

“C’mere, let me hold you, baby.” Jimmy said, motioning for him to come snuggle in his arms. He gladly did so, nuzzling the older man’s neck. “I love you so much... you’re so, so good to me, you know exactly how to please me...” Robert felt butterflies in his stomach at those words, he felt as light as a feather and like nothing in the world could hurt him right now.

“I love you, too...” he whispered in turn and smiled. It was true that he went into this hoping for a reward, hoping to get off, too, but right now, he thought seeing Jimmy so happy and blissed out was the best reward he could have gotten. “G’night.” 

“Good night, baby... sleep well.” Jimmy cooed and pulled the blanket up and around them both. Robert closed his eyes and surprisingly, it didn’t take long for him to drift off into sleep. 

As usual, he was the first to wake up the next day, and he felt considerably worse. He’d barely even opened his eyes and he was already all hot and bothered, with Jimmy’s naked body so close to his own and there was nothing he could do about it. He tried to enjoy holding him close, but it just made it worse with every second, so he slowly untangled himself from the other man. Luckily, Jimmy slept like the dead until he wanted to wake up, as usual, so that wasn’t that hard.

Robert decided to just keep trying to please Jimmy as much as possible, so he tiptoed to the kitchen, tied an apron around his neck and waist, and started to whip up a nice breakfast for the two of them. He put everything on a tray, took the apron off again and carried it back up the stairs to the bedroom. Everybody liked breakfast in bed after all, right?

He gently pushed the door to the bedroom open to enter the room. To his delight, Jimmy was awake by now, blinking at him sleepily. Robert smiled, it was almost hard to believe that this man, who looked so adorable and innocent right now, blinking at him from a pile of pillows and blankets, had him wrapped around his finger like this and basically owned him entirely. 

Jimmy stretched, which made the blanket shift and reveal more of his body, and Robert’s mind was in the gutter yet again, when he had just managed to calm down a little. He decided to ignore it and went over to the bed, pushing the pillow he’d been using away to put the tray down. He lay down on his stomach, on top of the blanket, and smiled at his boyfriend.

“Good morning.” He said, batting his eyelashes.

“Good morning... you made breakfast...” Jimmy said and stretched some more. “That is so nice... are you trying to get on my good side?” He teased. Robert laughed.

“Do I have to? I mean, I thought I was already on your good side, after last night...” He said. “I just woke up first and wanted to treat you to breakfast in bed...” He added. Jimmy’s eyes traveled along his naked back, down to the curve of his ass and Robert almost felt it physically. His skin tingled and he got very warm. 

“Hmm, you’re certainly scoring some more points right now...” The brunette cooed and reached out to drag a single finger down Robert’s spine, from his neck almost all the way down. The blonde couldn’t help the sound escaping his mouth at the touch. It wasn’t much, but after days of forced abstinence, or chastity, it felt different, it felt like much more. He bit his lip and lowered his head a little, grateful that he was lying on his stomach. This way, at least a certain part of him would remain hidden, although he was pretty sure Jimmy knew exactly what he was doing to him. 

“Would you... like coffee or tea? I made both.” He said and he was surprised and a little proud at how his voice came out sounding almost normal. 

“I think I’ll go for coffee today. Thank you.” Jimmy said. Robert almost spilled the coffee he was pouring into one of the cups he brought when his lover dragged his finger back up his spine, then towards his side, tickling him lightly. 

“You... you’re gonna make me spill this if you keep tickling me...” He gasped and Jimmy grinned.

“That’s the point... it’s so much fun to watch you struggle to keep it together...” He said. He was obviously enjoying this a great deal. “It’s getting more difficult with every day, isn’t it?” 

“Yes. I’m not even going to try and pretend it isn’t.” Robert admitted, pushing the cup closer towards Jimmy. He then took the other cup and poured some tea for himself. “But you’re enjoying it, so I’m enjoying it as well.” He propped himself up on his elbows and took a sip from his cup.

“You know you can end this whenever you need to, don’t you? Your safeword isn’t just for when you’re tied up or something.” Jimmy asked gently, caressing his cheek. Robert nodded.

“I know. But I don’t need it, I’m fine. I... really like this. I really do. I love the way you make me feel and... if I really can’t take it anymore, I can always just... tell you, right? You did say I can come to you and ask if I need anything.” He said. 

“Of course. I might not always give you what you ask for, though, that will be up to me to decide.” Jimmy said and picked up his cup of coffee. 

“I like that. I love everything about this, it’s so exciting.” Robert admitted with a shy smile and reached out to pick up one of the strawberries he’d prepared from a little bowl and popped it into his mouth. “I really enjoyed last night, too.”

“Hmmhm, so did I, but you knew that.” Jimmy chuckled. He picked up one of the strawberries as well, but instead of eating it, he offered it it Robert. The blonde knew that Jimmy liked feeding him, he’d done it before. He’d done it on their first morning together as a couple, actually, Robert remembered. He also remembered Jimmy feeding him wine from his own mouth and he blushed at the memory. He quickly took the strawberry from the other man’s fingers, brushing his lips against them in the process. “What are you blushing for, now?” 

“I just... remembered some things...” Robert mumbled. Jimmy gave him a knowing smile. 

“Ah... I think I know what you were thinking of.” He grinned and picked up another strawberry. He ate it, then fed another one to Robert. He took a piece of toast and started to cut it into little cubes. He put either butter, jam or honey on them and started feeding them to Robert as well, occasionally eating a piece himself. “Hm, I half expected you to be humping the mattress by now... you are hard, aren’t you?” He then asked casually and Robert blushed yet again.

“Yes. But I’m being good, I’m not doing anything.” He said. He’d been hard ever since Jimmy first touched him, dragging his finger down his spine, but of course he wouldn’t do anything about it. 

“I know, I can see that, you’re being very, very good indeed.” Jimmy cooed. Robert noticed he had some honey on one of his fingers, so he leaned in a little to start licking it off. He sucked the finger into his mouth and made eye contact. “Fuck... you know that always gets me.” Jimmy sighed and shook his head. 

Keeping his eyes fixed on Jimmy’s, Robert started doing the same things he did last night with his mouth until the other man pulled back his hand. 

“You’re a menace. You’re not supposed to be playing games with me, you know?” Jimmy warned and Robert grinned. He loved trying to make Jimmy lose it, especially because it wasn’t easy. The other man had a lot of self control, but Robert knew a few things that almost always worked. 

“I just want to make you feel good... Sir.” He said and Jimmy actually groaned. He reached out to grab Robert’s jaw roughly, forcing him to look up at him.

“Did I tell you to call me that?” He asked in a low voice. Robert shook his head as much as Jimmy’s death grip on his jaw allowed him.

“May I, though? Please?” He asked, excited.

“Yes.” Jimmy agreed after studying Robert’s face for a moment, thoughtful. “I do not like that you think you can play games with me. I don’t like that you’re trying to get a rise out of me. You’re trying to manipulate me again and you know how I feel about that. You will stop that and you will behave, do you hear me?”

“Yes, Sir. I am sorry.” Robert said in a small voice. The way Jimmy was talking to him let him know that he meant it, that he really was mad at him. He knew he’d messed up and he felt awful. Tears welled up in his eyes and threatened to spill. “I didn’t... I didn’t want to manipulate you, I swear, I just... I thought...” He babbled. 

“Shhh...” Jimmy shushed him and removed his hand from his jaw to caress his cheek. “Don’t you cry, now. It’s going to be alright, I’m going to punish you and then it’s going to be fine. I won’t be mad at you anymore.” 

“Ok.” Robert agreed and blinked away his tears. “I really, really am sorry... I just thought... if I got you all turned on, I could... suck you off again and you’d like that. I just wanted to make you feel good.” Jimmy chuckled.

“Aww, sweet baby. I appreciate the sentiment, but you don’t get to decide when you get to suck my cock.” He said, shaking his head. “If I want you to do that, I’ll tell you to.” 

“Understood.” Robert said. “What’s the punishment, then?” He asked. He was a little afraid. 

“I haven’t decided yet. We’ll finish breakfast first, I’ll figure something out until then. You’re not making it easy, since you seem to like almost everything I do to you.” Jimmy chuckled and Robert blushed. It was true, he got off on pain, so that wasn’t an option. “But I’ll think of something, don’t you worry.” 

Robert did worry, though. He slowly sipped his tea and watched Jimmy eat. He couldn’t eat anymore, there was a strange knot in his stomach. Whatever Jimmy came up with, it wouldn’t be pleasant for him and he knew it. When they were done with breakfast, the other man smiled at him.

“Alright, I want you to take a shower. Clean yourself out and prepare yourself for me, then come back here to me.” He said. Robert stared at him and bit his lip. Getting fucked would be his punishment? “Come here, let me take off your collar so you can shower.” Jimmy added. Robert scooted a little closer to him and pouted when Jimmy took it off. He didn’t like losing the collar. “Aww, don’t be sad, I’ll put it back on as soon as you get back here. Now go.” The brunette promised. 

“Yes, Sir.” Robert breathed and left. He still didn’t understand what the punishment was, it sounded more like a reward, but then again, he was going to find out soon enough. 

When he came back to the bedroom, Jimmy wasn’t hidden underneath the blanket anymore, he’d kicked it off towards the foot of the bed and he was slowly stroking himself. The sight sent Robert’s mind reeling right away and he stopped dead in the doorway. 

“Come here, in my lap, baby.” Jimmy prompted, patting his thigh with his free hand. He only stopped touching himself when Robert was settled in his lap. “Did you do as I told you?” 

“Yes, Sir.” Robert said again, nodding. 

“Then go ahead. Sit on it, but do not move yet.” Jimmy instructed. The blonde bit his lip again and gently wrapped his hand around the other’s hard cock as he raised his hips. He slowly guided it to his entrance and slowly sank down. “Yes, good boy... you’re so hot and tight...” Jimmy sighed. When he was settled, he stopped moving and looked up at his lover again. 

Jimmy took the collar that was lying on the bed next to them and put it back on. Robert felt strangely relieved when he felt it around his neck once more. He closed his eyes and sighed when Jimmy’s hands started caressing him everywhere, making his skin tingle pleasantly all over. He moaned when Jimmy wrapped a hand around his cock and started stroking him. Everything felt so much more intense than usually and it drove him crazy. 

“Feels so good...” He whispered happily, trying to stay as still as possible. Jimmy had told him not to move, after all. 

“It does, doesn’t it?” Jimmy asked, an almost evil grin appearing on his face as Robert opened his eyes again. The blonde felt his stomach sink as he saw the look his lover was giving him. 

“Uh-oh.” Robert said. “I’m not gonna be feeling good for long, am I?” Jimmy laughed.

“Oh, you are. Absolutely. But you’re not going to finish.” Jimmy said and Robert whined. That was punishment, alright. “You’re going to ride me, I’m going to touch you, I’m going to get you right to the edge, but you’re not going to come. Not today.”

Robert made another little sound as Jimmy pushed his hips up against him. This was going to be frustrating as all hell. 

“You’re going to warn me if you get too close. If you fail to do so, I will take away your collar and I will not touch you for a week. No sex, no cuddles, nothing.” Jimmy warned.

“Yes, Sir. I’ll be good.” Robert said immediately. That would be even more awful and he didn’t want that to happen. He needed to be close to Jimmy as much as he needed oxygen at this point. 

“I’m going to use you all day... you’re going to be my very own, living, breathing sex toy.” Jimmy said and Robert moaned. That was one of the hottest things he’d ever heard, the very thought turned him on like mad. “You like that, don’t you?”

“Oh God, yes...” He moaned. Jimmy was now slowly circling his hips, not quite thrusting up into him, just moving a little so Robert would feel it. 

“This evening... when I’m done with you... my come is going to be dripping out of you. Down your thighs...” Jimmy said, now starting to thrust for good. Robert gasped and squeezed his eyes shut against the feeling that washed over him at hearing those words. “I’ll come on your face... on your chest... everywhere I want to.”

“Stop... stop, too much.” He gasped. Hearing Jimmy talk like that brought him so incredibly close with the way he was moving inside him and how his hands were roaming his body. Jimmy had never talked to him like that before. He stopped when Robert told him to and kept his hands on his hips, steady.

“Good boy.” He praised with a grin and it sent another wave of arousal and heat through Robert’s body. He started moving again, too, at the same time.

“Fuck... please stop... don’t say that, please, I’m not gonna... I’m...” The blonde babbled, feverishly grabbing at Jimmy’s shoulders and arms for something to hold on to as he tried feebly to hold back. Jimmy grabbed his hands and interlaced their fingers, giving him something to hold on to.

“Shh, calm down, it’s ok... you can do this.” He tried to soothe Robert and it helped, just a little. “Looks like I’ve given you a bit of a praise kink, haven’t I?” 

Robert had half a mind to glare at Jimmy, because yes, of course he had, that much was obvious, but he refrained and gave him a shy, pleading look instead, he didn’t want to make him mad again, and hoped for mercy. 

“Come on, move.” Jimmy then said, giving his hands a squeeze. Their fingers were still interlaced and Robert intended to keep it that way for as long as possible. At least Jimmy wouldn’t be able to touch him if he kept their hands like this and Robert had a chance of surviving this. 

He took a deep breath and started moving again, just up and down for now. He angled himself a certain way to make sure Jimmy’s cock didn’t brush against his prostate too much, but of course he couldn’t quite avoid it completely, especially since Jimmy soon caught on to what he was doing and changed their position a little, thrusting up into him deeper and harder, hitting that spot each and every time with a smug expression on his face. Robert cursed and closed his eyes. 

He needed Jimmy to come, and soon, or he would be the one to come, so he started squeezing his muscles around the other man’s cock as he moved on him, tightening himself around him even more as he met his thrusts. He heard Jimmy moan and felt him quicken the pace.

A wave of relief washed over him as he felt Jimmy come inside him. He stopped moving and let him ride out his orgasm. When he finally pulled out, he let go of Jimmy’s hands, gingerly climbed off of his lap and lay down next to him. 

“See? You did it... you were such a good boy and did exactly as I told you.” Jimmy sighed and reached out to caress his cheek. 

“Yeah... and you... you were right. You found an actual punishment. This is torture.” He admitted. He was still rock hard and needy and the fear of messing up and having Jimmy ignore him for a week almost paralyzed him. 

“Poor baby... it’s going to teach you a lesson, though.” Jimmy cooed, patted his cheek condescendingly and sat up. “I’m going to take a shower. You’re going to wait here for me. You won’t wash, you’ll stay just like this, slick and ready for when I want you again.” He said and got off the bed. Jimmy had been right, Robert felt exactly like he was just a living, breathing sex toy for now. He felt used.

When he came back from the bathroom, he was dressed in a pair of black jeans and a purple henley. He was carrying some rope in his hand. Robert was still in the same position he had been in when he left 20 minutes ago. 

“Sit up.” He ordered. Robert felt a little sluggish, but he did as he had been told and sat up slowly. Jimmy pulled the rope through the ring on his collar. “Arms.” He stretched out his arms in front of him. Jimmy gently ran his hands down his arms, then started wrapping the rope around his wrists expertly, tying them together tightly. He made a point out of touching the sensitive skin on the inside of his wrist with every loop he made around them, caressing him. He made a thick knot between them that left a length of rope for him to hold like a leash. “Come.”

Robert was hard yet again by the time Jimmy started leading him through the house on his makeshift leash, much to the brunette’s amusement. He was lead into the rehearsal room with all the instruments. Jimmy took one of the big pillows from the old sofa there and threw it on the floor next to the chair he usually set on when he rehearsed or wrote new songs. 

“Sit down there, on the pillow.” He said softly. “Don’t make a mess, though.” Robert knelt down, carefully keeping any currently messy parts of his body away from the pillow. Jimmy tied the rope to the leg of his chair and went to get a guitar. He then sat down next to Robert and started practicing, just like he did every day, as if nothing unusual was happening at all. 

After a while, Robert leaned in and made to rest his head on Jimmy’s knee, but stopped himself.

“May I, Sir?” He asked, not wanting to ride himself in any deeper. Jimmy smiled down at him and patted his head.

“Of course you may.” He said gently and Robert relaxed a little, leaning against his leg and resting his head on this thigh. 

Jimmy spent the better part of the next three or four hours practicing or coming up with new riffs and chord combinations, sometimes he got up to get a different instrument or to write something down. Robert wasn’t too uncomfortable and he loved listening.

A bit before noon, he untied Robert’s leash from his chair and told him to get up and rest his arms on the windowsill. He had to use some additional lube and work him open with his fingers again, but then he used him again, fucking him while he looked out the window. Robert tried to distract himself by looking out at the river, counting some ducks or some boats he saw passing by just so he wouldn’t get too turned on again. It worked rather well and he didn’t even get close to coming this time. 

Jimmy tied him to the chair again when he was done and left to clean himself up and wash his hands. 

When he came back with a plate and two sandwiches, Robert was standing next to his pillow instead of sitting on it, fidgeting uncomfortably.

“I didn’t say you could get up.” Jimmy said with a frown. 

“But you said not to make a mess and soil the pillow, so I stood up...” Robert said and he felt his face heat up as he blushed. “I’m sorry, Sir.” Jimmy raised an eyebrow at him, then he grinned.

“Oh... I see. Do we have a little leakage? Give me a second...” He chuckled and put the plate with the sandwiches on the table at the other side of the room. He left the room again and came back with some wipes and a little black box. Robert’s face burned with shame as Jimmy cleaned his thighs and his butt, wiping away the excess lube as well as the semen that had dripped down his legs.

“You know, I didn’t want to give this to you just yet, but I think we’ll need it today, because I’m nowhere near done with you.” Jimmy then said and took the little black box. He opened it and showed the contents to Robert. It was a small black object, the tip was pointed and vaguely arrow-shaped, then there was a very small, narrow part and it had a wide, flared base. 

“What is that?” Robert asked curiously. He’d never seen anything like it before and he couldn’t figure out how it would help him with his current predicament.

“It’s a plug.” Jimmy said nonchalantly. Robert stared at him for a moment, then at the little black object again and he groaned. He could see how that would solve the problem, but he didn’t understand how it would even get inside him. The tip was pointed, but then it had a very, very wide part and he was worried. Jimmy laughed. “Don’t be so scared, I’ll be gentle.” He said and motioned for him to turn around again. 

He reluctantly turned around and closed his eyes. A small part of him wished the day was already over and his punishment would end, but a bigger part of him wished this could go on for ever and ever because he actually really, really enjoyed being treated like Jimmy’s fuck toy. 

The plug went in easily enough with some more lube, it was uncomfortable and maybe even a little painful at first, but once it was in, he didn’t even feel it unless he moved. 

“There you go, that should take care of that little problem.” Jimmy said and used a wipe to get rid of some more excess lube. “Now you can sit down again.” 

“Thank you, Sir.” Robert said as he sat back down on the pillow. He cringed a little when his movements made the plug move a little. When he looked up at Jimmy, he was a little surprised at the heated look he got. The brunette had only just finished fucking him for the second time that day, he couldn’t possibly be horny again, already, Robert thought. Then again, being addressed like that and thanked for plugging him probably turned him on like crazy. 

He was wrong, though, Jimmy was ready to go again, judging by the bulge in his jeans. He came closer, unzipped them and took out his cock. 

“Go ahead, suck it.” He said. “Don’t worry, I washed it.” He added as he saw the look Robert gave him. It was true, he tasted vaguely soapy when the blonde took him in his mouth. 

Just when he was about to finish, Jimmy pulled out of his mouth, coming all over his face, some dripped on his chest. The guitarist took a moment to admire what he’d done with a smug grin, then he quickly wiped him down. 

He went to wash his hands again, and when he came back, he grabbed the plate with the sandwiches. One of them, he fed to Robert whose hands were still bound, the other he ate. He then went back to playing his guitar and Robert listened happily. 

Jimmy used him three more times, once just after he was done with his rehearsals for the day, then another time just after dinner and one more time before they went to bed. It got a little easier to withstand for Robert with every time, maybe because it lost its novelty a little and maybe because he started to feel a little numb. At least he didn’t have to worry about coming anymore, he simply let it happen. When Jimmy didn’t plug him up again after the fifth time that day, Robert knew it was over. 

He was told to go wash up properly, he was untied and his collar was taken off again for his shower. It took him awhile to get everything out and to feel clean again. He was a little sore as well, but he didn’t complain. He returned to Jimmy, who was ready for bed as well and let him put his collar back on. They snuggled up together, Robert was very happy to be held. 

“I don’t remember ever having had sex so many times in a single day.” Jimmy mused with a pleased grin.

“I’m quite impressed, I have to admit. I didn’t know you had it in you, you came, what, six times?” Robert chuckled. “I thought I was the insatiable one.”

“I’m a little sore...” Jimmy admitted. “But it was great, anyway. I should do this more often.” 

“Oh God no...” Robert groaned, making Jimmy laugh. “I mean, if I get to actually participate, yes, sure, I’m in, but not like this...” 

“Well, that would depend on whether or not you behaved, wouldn’t it?” Jimmy asked him teasingly. 

“I learned my lesson, I’ll be good.” Robert said softly and nuzzled Jimmy’s neck. “I didn’t hate everything about it, you know. The first time was really difficult, I thought I’d come and ruin everything, but then it got a little easier. I did love being used for your pleasure like that, feeling you come inside me over and over again... feeling it drip out of me until you plugged me, nice and tight...”

“You do make a lovely cumbucket. Literally.” Jimmy grinned and Robert groaned again, hiding his face. Being called that made him feel very strange inside, both turned on, embarrassed and humiliated at the same time. “You were so very good today, you took your punishment so well, you’ll get your reward tomorrow. Whatever you want, you’ll get it.” Jimmy then promised. 

“Whatever I want?” Robert asked cheekily.

“Within reason.” Jimmy said and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Good night, love.”

“Night night...” The blonde answered and sighed. He started thinking about what he could ask for, what he wanted Jimmy to do or what he wanted to do to Jimmy. A million things popped into his head and he had to stop thinking about them or he’d get all worked up again. He hadn’t gotten off in almost a week by now and the simplest little thoughts would get him hard by now. 

He decided not to think about it too much, at least not at this point. Tomorrow was as good a time as any to decide what he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to be the last one. Please let me know what you thought, what you liked, leave some feedback! Thank you for reading!


	11. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert finally gets his reward, Jimmy does his best to bring him off in every way possible, pushing all of his buttons, playing with every little kink Robert has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little disclamer: There's a bit of erotic humiliation in this chapter as well as mentions of feces and pee (only MENTIONS! nothing happens). There's breathplay as well, read at your own risk.

The next day had Robert feeling like a child on boxing day, ready to open his presents. He was buzzing with excitement and he was barely able to wait for Jimmy to wake up. He knew of course that they wouldn’t jump right into it, but he couldn’t help himself. 

He felt surprisingly good, he wasn’t even that sore anymore from yesterday's activities. Now he was just incredibly horny and excited and he still couldn’t decide what to ask for. When he realized that, it put a little damper on his mood. What if he really just couldn’t decide and Jimmy got fed up with him? 

He decided to stop worrying about it and just tell Jimmy the truth. Being honest had always paid off until now, so that’s what he was going to do. 

For now, though, the brunette was sleeping soundly, half on top of him, his arms wrapped tightly around the singer’s waist. There was no way Robert would be able to get up without waking the other man, and he definitely didn’t want to risk that. Jimmy hated being woken up. He hated it with a passion, he needed to wake up in his own time or he’d be grumpy all day. 

Robert snuggled back into his pillow and closed his eyes again, trying to sleep away again, but it was impossible. He sighed to himself and wrapped his arms around Jimmy, holding him close instead. He always enjoyed being close to his boyfriend, so that was good. He smiled when he heard Jimmy sigh happily and snuggle closer to him. 

After what felt like an eternity, Jimmy finally stirred. He yawned and stretched, rubbed his eyes and smiled sleepily at the blonde. 

“Mornin’... how are you?” He asked, caressing Robert’s chest. 

“Good morning... pretty good...” He said with a grin. “How about you?” 

“Sleepy.” Jimmy said and yawned again. He really wasn’t a morning person. Robert chuckled and pulled him closer again. 

“Well, you can nap some more if you want...” He said. He really didn’t want that, but then again, he just wanted Jimmy to be happy. 

“Actually... I have an appointment in an hour.” Jimmy sighed as he snuggled into Robert’s chest. “I have to go sign some contracts... you know, there’s some unresolved legal issues with some of my session work from like... 5 years ago.” He huffed. Robert’s stomach dropped and he pouted.

“You’re leaving?” He asked sadly. He really, really didn’t want Jimmy to leave, he’d rather have him nap for five more hours in his arms. 

“I’m sorry, but I have to. I shouldn’t be gone for too long and when I’m back, I’m all yours and we’ll see to getting you your reward.” He said with a little smile, caressing his chest teasingly. Robert actually shivered at his words.

“At least tell me when I can expect you to be back...?” He asked. 

“I don’t know, baby... depends on how long everything takes... they’ll probably want to have lunch together, too...” Jimmy sighed. He didn’t sound like he wanted to go, either.

“Can’t you cancel the appointment?” Robert pouted. “Say you’re sick... sign it some other time... or have them send the papers here or something... have Peter take care of it... I don’t even care... please?”

“I’d love to, but I fear I can’t. I bet their driver is already on their way to pick me up. I’m sorry baby. You’ll have to be patient.” Jimmy said and placed a gentle kiss on the center of Robert’s chest. The blonde sighed heavily.

“Alright. I’ll be patient, then.” He said. “Shall we get up and have some breakfast, then, or would you rather just stay here for a bit longer?” 

“I’d like to just stay here if you don’t mind. You can have breakfast when I’m gone, I’m not hungry... unless you’re hungry now.” Jimmy said. 

“No, I’m good. I’d love to hold you until you have to go.” Robert agreed and tightened his hold on the other man. 

“You’re pretty excited, about what’s going to happen later, aren’t you?” Jimmy asked and Robert felt him smiling against his chest. 

“Wouldn’t you be? I mean, think about it. You kept me all riled up all week and you haven’t let me get off yet... how do you think I feel?” He chuckled. “Fucking hell... you fucked me five times yesterday. You have no idea, I’m just about ready to explode.” He said and Jimmy laughed. 

“I can imagine...” He grinned. “Well, you’ll have to wait just a tiny bit longer... I do enjoy seeing you like this.” 

“I noticed.” Robert sighed and ran his fingers through Jimmy’s hair gently.

“I mean, it’s beautiful, you get so turned on by the smallest things now... lying here, I can totally tell when your mind goes into the gutter, when you think about what I did to you yesterday... your heart speeds up, your breathing hitches and I can feel all those little shivers and trembles in your body...” Jimmy purred in a low voice. 

Robert stiffened momentarily as a rush of arousal went through him. He felt his muscles tremble and spasm as he came suddenly, untouched, totally taken by surprise at his own reaction. He made a strangled little noise and bit his lip, hard. 

“Fuck.” He cursed. Jimmy raised his head from where it had been resting on his chest and stared at him, a grin starting to spread all over his face when he realized what just happened. When he saw Robert’s absolutely mortified expression, his own expression changed to one of worry, though.

“What’s wrong, baby? That was... that was so hot!” He said.

“I... I didn’t... have permission.” Robert whispered, his whole body still all stiff with embarrassment. He also feared he’d be punished again, this time for coming without permission. Jimmy’s face softened.

“It’s ok, you have my permission... I told you, today, you get to get off, finally. I didn’t expect it to happen like this, but I absolutely love that it did. I’m not mad at you. I want to make you come in all kinds of ways today, as often as possible...” Jimmy reassured him, pecking his lips gently. Robert still felt awful. 

“I didn’t mean to... it just kind of... happened... I’m sorry.” He whispered. Jimmy kissed him again.

“Shhh... stop apologizing. This is one of the hottest things I’ve ever experienced. I’m not mad. On the contrary.” He said, giving Robert a heated look. “God, you’re giving me all kinds of ideas...” He groaned and nuzzled the blonde’s neck, then bit down on his shoulder, gently. His hands were all over Robert’s body suddenly.

“What ideas?” Robert asked breathlessly, squirming under the other man’s touch. Jimmy grinned.

“I’ll tell you later.” He decided and stopped what he was doing to grab some wipes and clean Robert’s chest and belly. He’d soiled their blanket as well, but they were too lazy to get up and change it, so they just flipped it around, deciding to deal with it later.

They stayed in bed, cuddling, until Jimmy had to get up to get ready. Robert went into the kitchen to get himself some tea and breakfast. When Jimmy was dressed and ready to leave, he joined him in the kitchen.

“You’re free to put on clothes while I’m gone... if you want, I can take off the collar, too.” He offered, but Robert shook his head.

“I’d like to keep it on if you don’t mind, Sir.” He whispered. Jimmy gave him another heated glance, then he nodded.

“Alright. I’m glad you want to keep it on.” He said, reaching out to trace the edge of the collar with a finger before toying with the ring a little. “Well, I have to go. I promise I’ll hurry back as quickly as possible. Be good. Love you.” He said as he kissed Robert goodbye.

“Love you, too...” Robert said and watched him leave. He couldn’t help but pout again. 

He didn’t even know what to do until Jimmy came back. He started by doing the laundry, their sheets needed washing badly after his little mishap earlier. When that was taken care of, he fixed himself some breakfast and sat in front of the TV, but there was nothing on, so he grabbed a magazine instead. The first issue of Cream had nothing really interesting, but the second one he grabbed had an article about Led Zeppelin and there were some nice pictures of Jimmy, so he spent a bit of time reading the article and ogling his own boyfriend.

Jimmy just looked amazing, especially on stage, the energy he emitted was almost palpable, even in pictures. It occurred to Robert that Jimmy was exactly like that in the bedroom. He blushed a little and caressed a picture absentmindedly.

He laughed at himself when he realized what he was doing. He was behaving like a teenage girl gushing over her favorite rockstar. He was a fucking rockstar himself, he shouldn’t be doing this! But then again, this was about Jimmy and nothing was quite normal when it came to him and Jimmy.

He amused himself for a while by drawing moustaches on their faces and silly hats on their heads in the magazine, then moved on to do the same to David Bowie on the next page. Roger Daltrey got a monocle and a goatee. Paul McCartney got long eyelashes and lipstick. He laughed to himself softly, then sighed. He was getting incredibly bored and it hadn’t even been two hours.

He walked through the house, naked as he was, tidied up here and there, then he went to the library and leafed through some books, but nothing held his interest for too long until he stumbled upon two more interesting books. 

The first one was very old, a quick peek on the first page told him it was from 1875, and it was called ‘Venus in Furs’. It was a little difficult to read, being so old, but the story was quite interesting to Robert, as it was about a man who fell in love with a beautiful young widow. She turned him down when he asked her to marry him, but agreed to let him be her slave for a year. There were detailed descriptions of whippings and other sorts of things, nothing too sexual though, which made sense to Robert when he remembered when it had been published. 

Robert wondered about the book for a while. The man seemed to enjoy being treated that way and the widow seemed to enjoy treating him like that, even though she had her reservations at first, but the book didn’t end well for the couple. He sighed and put it away, picking up the next book. 

This one was much newer, it had only been published a few years ago, in 1965. The cover showed a beautiful lady with a thin blanket draped across her shoulders and the title of the book, ‘The Story of O’. 

This one was a lot more graphic and sexual than the first one. Some of the scenes he read turned Robert on, but a lot of the stuff in the book wasn’t to his liking. It didn’t sound like everybody involved was enjoying everything, it sounded way too one sided. 

Robert had always been a fast reader, but by the time he finished both books, it was late already, well, late afternoon, and Jimmy still wasn’t back. Just when he made to get up to put the books back into the shelf, the door to the library opened. Relief flooded Robert’s whole body. 

“Fuck, you’re back! Finally!” He gasped, beaming up at the dark haired man standing in the doorway. Jimmy looked tired and tense, he noticed, even though he still had a smile for Robert. 

“Hey you.” He chuckled as he looked at the blonde who was sitting, naked, on the soft, plush carpet on the floor, surrounded by books. “Finally, yes.” He sighed. “What have you been up to? Have you been a good boy, like I told you?” He then asked, coming a little closer to look at the books Robert had been reading. The singer blushed a little.

“Well, I was just... just reading a little.” He said coyly, blinking up at the other man. 

“Hmmmhm, I can see that.” Jimmy chuckled as he saw the books, reading the titles. The brunette slowly lowered himself to the floor as well, sitting next to Robert and looking at him thoughtfully. Robert looked back at him, then scooted closer and wrapped his arms around his neck, snuggling against him.

“I missed you like crazy.” He sighed. “You’re so tense... are you ok?” He asked worriedly when he felt just how stiff Jimmy was. The older man sighed and rested his forehead against Robert’s shoulder.

“I’m fine... it’s just... you know just how much I hate dealing with legal matters, lawyers in general, paperwork... it was incredibly draining.” He sighed. 

“Poor baby...” Robert cooed, caressing his back gently. “I could give you massage, get those tense muscles to relax again...” He offered.

“Hmm, that would be wonderful, yes.” Jimmy sighed and smiled. “But first, did you like them? The books, I mean. What did you think?” He asked gently. Robert thought for a moment, caressing the cover of one of the books. 

“If I’m honest... no.” He said, then, and looked up at Jimmy insecurely. He was afraid Jimmy would be offended.

“Care to elaborate? I mean, I agree, I had quite a few problems with them as well, but I’m curious to know what you thought.” He said. Robert was relieved that the other didn’t seem to be upset at all, so he relaxed a bit.

“I just thought... those relationships, in those books... don’t seem healthy?” He said slowly. “I mean, they seem borderline abusive. We get into some really crazy stuff, much more so than these characters in the books, but what we have still seems... feels... so much healthier and better. We care about each other, we really, really love each other, we’d never hurt each other, I mean, not really. We always make sure the one on the receiving end is safe. They didn’t seem to care much about that.” He finished with a shrug. 

“That’s exactly what I thought when we first got into this with you.” Jimmy admitted with a smile. “I used to think these books were pretty hot, but now that I know what it’s really like... they’re... really not.” He chuckled. “I used to be a lot more like those characters in these books, you know... I didn’t really care about the people I did these things with... but with you... I just realized how important love, care and trust are. Hurting you is the last thing I’d want. I mean, apart from the ways you want me to hurt you.” He winked at the blonde.

Robert beamed at him, then hugged him tightly and nuzzled his neck. 

“What we have is pretty special, you know?” Jimmy continued. “The level of love and trust between us allows us to get far deeper into this than we could if this was just... a casual fuck or something.”

“I know... I wouldn’t trust anybody else with this.” Robert whispered. “And I know you wouldn’t, either. I feel very, very safe and comfortable with you.” 

“That’s good. That’s wonderful.” Jimmy cooed and kissed him gently. “Now, for that massage you offered...” He trailed off with a smile. Robert grinned.

“Yes! Of course. Well... take off your shirt and get on the sofa... or would you prefer the bed, upstairs? I’ll just go get some massage oil...” Robert babbled, excited. Jimmy laughed at his enthusiasm and shook his head.

“Oil would be great, yes.” He agreed, an amused twinkle in his eye. “The sofa is fine for now.” He then added and got up from the floor, already taking off his shirt. Robert followed and stared at him for a moment. 

“Well? Go get the oil, don’t just ogle me.” Jimmy laughed, tossing his shirt at Robert. The blonde blushed and laughed as well, catching the shirt and taking it with him to the bathroom. He tossed it in the hamper and took a bottle of a nice, scented massage oil from the cupboard. 

It occurred to him that he’d gotten incredibly used to being naked all the time in the past few days. It didn’t even feel strange anymore, it just felt... natural. Sometimes, he’d feel Jimmy’s looks on his body, but he really liked that, so that wasn’t an issue, on the contrary. 

When he got back to the library, Jimmy was already lying on the sofa, face down, head resting on his arms. Robert put the bottle of massage oil on the table and straddled Jimmy’s thighs, sitting back on them. He rubbed his hands a little to warm them, then started to massage the other’s shoulders carefully, without oil for now.

“It would be better if you could put your arms back down... just along your sides...” He suggested. “Let me get you a pillow for your head.” He added and got up to fetch one from one of the armchairs. He gently put it under Jimmy’s head when the other man put his arms back down along the sofa. “There you go... now just relax.” He said and sat back down. 

He got back to work, carefully working out the kinks and knots in Jimmy’s muscles. It didn’t take him very long until he was far more relaxed. Robert then took the bottle of oil and poured a generous amount on his palm, rubbed his hands together and went back to work, rubbing it into Jimmy’s skin, then massaging him some more. 

He started with his neck, then moved on to his shoulders, then his upper back, all the way down to the small of his back. He then moved on to his arms, massaging them gently as well, then worked on his tense shoulders some more.

“You’re so fucking good at this...” Jimmy sighed happily. “I must be luckiest man in the world. Now, while you’re doing that... why don’t you tell me what you’d like your reward to be.” 

Robert’s breath hitched and his fingers tightened on Jimmy’s back. He still hadn’t decided and he was still afraid Jimmy would just call the whole thing off if he was indecisive, not giving him a reward at all.

“Jimmy, I... I mean, Sir, I can’t... I can’t decide what to ask for.” He said. “There’s so many things I want to try, that I’m curious about and I just... don’t know what to ask for first.” He admitted and Jimmy chuckled.

“Hmm, you’re such a greedy boy, aren’t you?” He purred and Robert actually gasped. Every time Jimmy talked to him like that, he felt insanely turned on, especially with the way his voice sounded. Jimmy might not have a deep voice, it was actually oddly high pitched for a man, but it was so soft and velvety that whenever he spoke, Robert’s insides just turned to goo. 

“I... I... I’m sorry, I just...” He stammered, embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to be greedy.” He quickly resumed massaging Jimmy’s back to distract himself from the intense embarrassment he felt. 

“Aww, it’s ok... I like you greedy, my boy... and curious. It’s so much more fun.” Jimmy chuckled. “How about this: You’re going to tell me about all the things you want to try, everything you’re curious about, and I’ll decide what we’re going to do.” He suggested. Robert nodded, then he remembered that Jimmy couldn’t see him right now.

“I’d like that, yes.” He said, almost shyly. 

“Let me turn around, I wanna see your face.” Jimmy said and Robert sat up a little to let the other man turn around to lie on his back instead. He sat back down on his thighs and poured some more oil on his palms, starting to massage Jimmy’s chest, the front of his shoulders, and his arms again. 

“Hmm, that feels good, too.” Jimmy purred when he massaged a particularly tense muscle right below his left collar bone. “Alright, tell me everything that’s on your mind... I want to know everything, whatever it is that turns you on, whatever it is you wanna do, even if you think I won’t like it, just tell me. I won’t judge, I promise.” He said. Robert took a deep breath. 

“Well... I really want to try the cross, I want to know what it’s like to be tied to that cross.” He said and Jimmy nodded encouragingly. “I just... really want to try all those things I did to you, I need to know what it feels like. I want to know what electro stimulation feels like. I want to know what it feels like to have you control my breath... I want to know what it’s like to be hooked up to that heart rate monitor... I’d like to... do both at the same time, actually.” He admitted. 

“Oh yes, I remember how much you were into that when you did it to me.” Jimmy grinned. “We can definitely do that. What else?” 

“I liked... what we did this week. I like being your toy, boing used for your pleasure.” He admitted. “I like the way you talk to me, the way you tease me.” 

“I can tell, yes. You love it when I make you blush, when I humiliate you just a little, don’t you?” Jimmy said. “You don’t even have to answer, your face is so red right now.” He chuckled. 

“Is it... wrong, to like that?” Robert whispered, lowering his gaze. 

“No. Not at all. A lot of people are into that, it’s not that uncommon.” Jimmy reassured him. 

“Then... then I’d like you to do that, too. Just don’t... I mean, don’t take it too far, don’t call me names and don’t make me feel like you don’t love me anymore, please.” Robert whispered insecurely. 

“Oh Robert, I wouldn’t do that. You know I love you... and you know that if I tease you about how eager and greedy you are, or about how responsive you are, it’s because I love all that about you. It’s really hot.” Jimmy said, his voice softer and more gentle now. Robert looked up at him again and gave him a smile.

“Thank you.” He said and leaned down to kiss him gently. “I meant to ask... earlier, after I... after I just... came, just like that... you said I was giving you all kinds of ideas. What did you mean?” 

“Well, I was wondering... since you can obviously come without physical stimulation... I was wondering if you can be trained to come at my command.” Jimmy said, looking up at him with that mysterious twinkle in his eye. Robert blinked in surprise.

“Is that a thing? I mean, is that possible?” He asked. The thought intrigued him. 

“It is. Not for everyone, not in every situation, but it’s possible. I’ve seen people trained to come at their master’s command, and they did. All the master had to do was give them a verbal cue and it happened, much like it did with you this morning.” Jimmy explained. “It requires a lot of training, though, and it takes a long time. Your brain needs to be hardwired to only let you come when I tell you to. But I think it might be possible for us. If you want to try that, of course.”

“I do! Oh god do I want to try...” Robert almost moaned and Jimmy laughed again. “That would be so, so hot...”

“Well, you’re nothing if not eager, I see.” Jimmy grinned. “It would be, wouldn’t it? Just imagine the power it would give me over you... I could just make you come whenever, wherever I wanted to. Here, at home, or even... during a concert, on stage. I could just walk over to you between two songs, give you the command, and there would be nothing you could do, once your brain is hardwired to do what I tell it to...” 

“Fuck.” Robert cursed and closed his eyes. He hadn’t even really noticed yet, but he was hard and aching again. “How... are you going to train me?” 

“First of all, we’ll have to stick to that little rule again... you won’t come unless I tell you to come. No matter what I do to you today, you’ll hold back until I say ‘come for me’. That will be your cue. Don’t worry too much about it, I know your body pretty well by now, I’ll know when it’s about to happen.” Jimmy explained.

“Ok... I think I can do that.” Robert bit his lip. “What else?” 

“For now, that’s it. I’ll just keep doing that, I’ll say those words right when you’re about to come, until your body starts associating them, and my voice, with the pleasure. Once that happened, I’ll give you less stimulation slowly, over time, but you’ll see, you’ll still come. Until one day, you won’t need me to touch you anymore at all.” The brunette continued. 

“Alright. I want that.” Robert said, smiling at him shyly. 

“Good, then it’s settled. Is there anything else you want, baby?” Jimmy asked him then.

“I... yes. Remember... when you carved your initials into my chest?” He asked, blushing again. Jimmy nodded. “I loved that. I wish... I wished you could do that again, but deeper... so it lasts. I want to have your mark on me, permanently.” He admitted. Jimmy sighed. 

“Ok, now this is where I’ll have to stop you, Robert.” He said and Robert lowered his gaze, ashamed that he’d even asked for that, now that he was being turned down. “No, it’s ok that you asked for it, baby... don’t get me wrong.” Jimmy reassured him and reached out to caress his arm gently. “But I won’t do that. I’m not going to give you a permanent scar. Just think about it... what if this doesn’t last? What if we break up? You’ll be left with my initials on your body, to remind you, each and every day. I wouldn’t want that.”

“You think we’ll break up...?” Robert whispered, looking back up at him with wide eyes, scared. He hated the very thought.

“I’m just... being realistic. Nothing lasts forever, right?” Jimmy said, a sad smile on his face. 

“I’d like it to, though...” Robert sighed.

“Me, too. Of course I would. But we don’t know if it will, so I really can’t do that. I’m sorry, Robert. I could, however, find something else, another little sign of ownership, like the collar, that is less obvious, that you could wear even when we’re on tour. Would you like that?” He offered as a compromise. The blonde nodded.

“I would love that, yes. Please.” Robert agreed. Jimmy sat up and pulled him into his arms.

“I’m sorry you’re disappointed, but there are just some things I can’t do.” He apologized. “But, on the other hand, there are a lot of nice things I can and will do... you asked for quite a few things today and I am very tempted to try everything, plus some new things I want to try. I have some new toys I want to try on you... shall we just see how much you can take?” Jimmy then suggested. 

“Yes, please... I’d love that.” Robert cooed, snuggling into Jimmy’s arms. 

“I wonder how often I can make you come today...” The brunette said and Robert shivered. 

“Well, I’m pretty sure I can top what you did yesterday, I’m a little younger than you after all.” He said cheekily, as if four years were a hell of a difference. It earned him a little slap to his backside.

“Somebody is feeling a little bratty today, hm?” Jimmy grinned. He obviously didn’t mind at all. “Cheeky boy. Go and clean yourself out, I’m sure I’ll want to fuck you at least once today.” Jimmy then said and gently shooed the blonde off of his lap. 

Robert laughed and bounced off towards the bathroom. This was his least favorite part of the whole thing, he was tired of giving himself enemas, but he knew it was necessary. They’d done it without it before and it... hadn’t been pretty. 

He quickly joined Jimmy in the playroom, or their sex dungeon, as he’d lovingly dubbed it. The other man was already there, preparing everything. He turned around and smiled when he noticed Robert enter the room. 

“Hey... ready?” He asked. Robert nodded. 

“There’s another thing I really liked, by the way...” He said as he came closer to his lover. 

“And what is that?”

“I really, really liked when you tied my hands with the rope, Sir.” Robert whispered. “That felt really good, especially while you were tying me up... it was like watching an artist, you did it in such a mesmerizing way...” 

“My, you really are greedy today, you want it all, don’t you?” Jimmy chuckled and Robert blushed. 

“Yes, Sir. I want you to tie me up and do every kinky thing you can think of to me.” He said even as his face turned red. He was a little surprised he managed to hold Jimmy’s gaze, but he did without wavering. Jimmy laughed in surprise. 

“You’re feisty today. Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.” He said. “And it might just turn out to be more than you can handle.” 

“Doubt it.” Robert raised his chin in defiance. He was starting to enjoy this little game a lot and it was quite obvious that Jimmy did as well. In reality, he wasn’t entirely sure, he didn’t know what exactly Jimmy planned to do to him after all, but the other didn’t need to know that. Jimmy gave him a hard stare that shut him up for now and went to the cupboard.

“Well, since you’re greedy enough to want both the rope and the cross, I’ll have to be a little creative, but I’m sure I can meet your needs.” He said as he picked out three pieces of rope that lay coiled up inside the cupboard. He came back to Robert. “Raise your arms a little.” He instructed as he put two of the ropes down on the little table next to them. 

He started slowly weaving the rope around Robert’s shoulders and his chest, like a harness. It immediately made the blonde stand up straighter, shoulders pulled back. Jimmy made sure to touch him lightly every time he wove the rope around his body or made a knot, caressing and tickling him lightly, making him shiver and sigh. 

“Does that feel good?” He asked as he finished the harness, wrapping the leftover rope around itself, tucking it away. 

“Yes, Sir. Very.” Robert answered. He already felt completely hypnotized and Jimmy had only just started. 

“Good. Now, give me your left hand.” Jimmy ordered as he picked up another piece of rope. “I’m going to make a cuff so I can tie you to the cross with that.” He chuckled as he started to wrap the rope around Robert’s wrist and fingers. It soon started to look like a thick braid on the back of his hand. When he was done, Jimmy made a thick knot in the palm of Robert’s hand and left a length of rope dangling down. Robert liked how the knot gave him something to hold on to. “There you go, now the right hand.” He said and did the same on the other side. 

The cuffs were amazingly comfortable, but combined with the harness they made Robert feel even more vulnerable and owned. He was guided to the St. Andrews cross then and Jimmy made quick work of it, tying the loose ends of the rope at his hands to the cross above his head. He used the straps and cuffs the cross offered to tie him to it completely. 

“Do you still feel like talking back, now?” Jimmy asked him with a grin when he was done. It took Robert a moment to process the question, his brain felt decidedly fuzzy now.

“Uhm... I...” He stammered and Jimmy laughed.

“Oh, that was pathetic, Robert.” He mocked and the blonde bit his lip. “You’re so easy, you know. All it takes is a little bondage and you’re gone.” Robert lowered his gaze, it was true and he couldn’t even deny it, he was so turned on by now that he could hardly think straight. The way Jimmy was talking to him and treating him didn’t help either. He let his head hang down, his hair covering his face.

“Oh no, you’re not hiding from me.” Jimmy said and took one of the silk ties from the cupboard. He came up to Robert again, grabbed his jaw and forced his head back up. He gathered Robert’s thick, blonde curls and tied them into ponytail. “There you go, much better. I want to see those red cheeks of yours.”

Jimmy circled him again, looking at him from all angles, apparently rather pleased with the picture he presented. Then, he made a face. 

“Bloody Hell. You can’t even clean yourself properly.” He spat in disgust, staring at his legs.

Robert felt all the blood drain from his face momentarily, before it came rushing back forcefully. Now that Jimmy mentioned it, he felt something trickle down his leg, the inside of his thigh. He was absolutely mortified.

“You were so eager to get here, you were sloppy.” The brunette shook his head. He quickly grabbed some wipes to clean Robert, whose face was burning with shame again. “You just couldn’t wait, hm? Eager, greedy, filthy boy.” He circled him again, like a predator stalking its prey.

“You expect me to fuck you when you’re not even clean? Really?” He asked and slapped Robert’s thigh. “You expect me to get myself dirty because you couldn’t fucking wait to be my little toy again, because you were so eager to be my cumbucket again.”

Just when Robert thought he was going to die from sheer embarrassment, Jimmy laughed softly and showed him the wipe he used. It was clean, there was just a little water stain. 

“It’s only water, it happens. It’s fine, I was just messing with you. You’re clean.” The brunette reassured him and tossed the wipe into the bin. Robert stared at him.

“Fuck... that was... mean.” He panted as relief flooded his senses. Jimmy grinned.

“I know... but you liked it.” He said, looking down at Robert’s hard cock pointedly. “I could have let you believe you were filthy and disgusting... and fucked you anyways... you would have totally gotten off on the humiliation, wouldn’t you?”

Robert didn’t answer, but then again, he didn’t have to, his body did the talking for him just fine. 

“I wonder... how long you’ll be able to hold back... if I do... this.” Jimmy mused, coming a little closer with each pause and roughly grabbing Robert’s cock when he finished his sentence, starting to jerk him off fast and hard. The blonde cursed and moaned, throwing his head back and grabbing onto the knots of rope in his hands that kept him tied to the cross. Jimmy’s other hand grabbed his balls and started massaging them, then pulling at them roughly as well. 

“Ji-... Sir, please, I can’t...” He moaned, he’d already been so close, this was too much already.

“Shhh... do not come until I say you can.” Jimmy shushed him. Robert squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath, fighting it, but he still felt it creep up on him with every rough stroke of Jimmy’s fist. “Come for me.”

Either Jimmy knew exactly when to say those words, or his body knew exactly what to do, Robert had no idea, but he came right away when he heard Jimmy’s soft voice purr those words into his ear. 

“Oh, gross... you filthy boy.” Jimmy growled and Robert opened his eyes to blink at him, still trying to catch his breath and wondering what he’d done this time. His gaze followed Jimmy’s and he bit his lip again. The brunette had been standing close enough to him and he’d come hard enough to shoot his load all over the brand new shirt Jimmy had put on after his massage earlier. 

“I’m sorry, Sir...” He panted.

“I should make you lick it off, you know?” Jimmy mused, grinning at him. “But I really don’t feel like untying you.” 

“You could just take off the shirt...” Robert quipped, feeling a little braver and more cheeky again. He even grinned back at Jimmy. 

“You know what? I’m actually going to.” Jimmy said and started to unbutton the shirt. Robert was a little surprised because Jimmy usually prefered to stay dressed when he was playing with him like this. When he took it off, he raised the shirt and smeared whatever hadn’t soaked into the fabric yet straight on Robert’s face. The blonde whimpered at the humiliation and Jimmy tossed the soiled shirt aside. 

Robert already felt it starting to dry on his face, it stuck to his left cheek and his forehead, and he knew the other man wasn’t going to wipe it off. 

“Now, shall we get you hooked up to this thing, then?” Jimmy asked as he pulled the table with the heart rate monitor closer. “This is going to be interesting... I have a few ideas.” He quickly glued the leads to Robert’s chest and attached the cables.

Robert wondered just what Jimmy had in mind for him when the other switched the device on and immediately switched off the rather annoying beeping sound. He glanced at the screen and noticed his heart was already beating embarrassingly quickly. 

“OK, I’m not even going to start before you calm down a little.” Jimmy said, looking at the little screen with the red number as well. “Let’s aim for double digits instead of triple for now, alright?”

Robert had no idea how he was going to do that, how he was supposed to calm down in this situation, with Jimmy still watching him like a predator. 

Luckily, Jimmy soon turned away from him to take several things out of the cupboard. The only thing Robert recognized was the stethoscope, other than that there was something that looked like some sort of gas mask with a tube, something that looked like a black, empty balloon, a tiny little bottle and something that looked like a large pencil case.

When Jimmy opened the case, there were several long, shiny metal tubes in it, all of them different sizes, from very thin to really thick. Robert was a tad bit disappointed that there were no scalpels anywhere in sight even though most of it looked decidedly medical. It only made him more nervous. 

After taking out the box with their electronic toys, Jimmy sat down on the sofa and looked at him again.

“As I said, I’m not going to do anything until you calm down.” He said, giving him a long, hard stare. “You’re curious about all of this, aren’t you?” He then asked, following Robert’s gaze as he looked at all the things he’d taken out of the cupboard. “Don’t you worry, as soon as you get that excited little heart of yours under control, we’ll continue.” 

“I can’t, Sir.” Robert said, desperate. Jimmy simply ignored him and indeed, after a few more moments, it started to slow down a little, but not by much. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

“See, you can.” Jimmy said with a smile. “Good boy.”

“Don’t.” Robert warned, because that little praise had made it heart rate skyrocket again right away. This time, he managed to control it a little more easily though. Jimmy seemed pleased. He picked up the strange looking mask and got up from the sofa. He stood in front of Robert and slowly slid the mask on his face so that the rubber edges sat snugly and fastened it behind his head. It covered his mouth and his nose as well.

“You said you were curious about breathplay...” Jimmy grinned at him, looking positively evil. “Well, so am I, but I apparently, I also have a sadistic streak, so I’m going to torture you a little with it.” He added and gently petted his chest a little, in an almost condescending way. He gave one of his nipples a quick little pinch, then went back to the table and picked up the balloon-like thing. 

When he brought it closer, Robert saw that one end could be attached to the hose of the mask he was wearing and he finally understood what it was. It had a little valve at the other end that could be opened or closed.

“Take a deep breath.” Jimmy told him and he hesitated, but then he did as he was told. He was a little nervous, a little frightened as well, but also very excited. Jimmy attached the bag to the end of the hose and now Robert only had the air in his lungs left to breathe and whatever tiny bit was already in the bag. He’d never felt so utterly at someone’s mercy before, but he wasn’t too afraid, he trusted Jimmy and the mask still allowed him to talk so he could end this whenever he needed to.

A quick glance at the little screen with the bright red numbers told him his heart rate was already through the roof again, but then again, that was to be expected. He forced himself to calm down again, his body was still going through the motions of breathing normally, so it didn’t even notice the oxygen slowly depleting, but of course Robert was very aware that it was happening. 

Jimmy had started caressing his body again, gently and softly this time, and he noticed every touch seemed more intense than the last one as he slowly started feeling more and more dizzy. It felt good. The brunette was watching him very closely and after a while, he reached over to grab his stethoscope. Robert squirmed a little in his restraints by now and Jimmy popped in the earpieces and rested the diaphragm on his chest. 

“Hmm, it’s sounding a little stressed... I wonder why.” He murmured and grinned at Robert evilly. 

He listened for a little longer, then he put the stethoscope down again, keeping it around his neck. He then opened the little valve at the other end of the bag to give him some fresh air. The blonde greedily sucked it in. 

Robert moaned as Jimmy started stroking his cock again, until he was fully erect once more. He left him alone, then, and went to take the tiny little bottle from the table.

“Remember when you complained that you could never get your heart to beat as fast as mine?” Jimmy said innocently. Robert did remember and the way Jimmy asked him scared him. 

He groaned when Jimmy turned around and he saw the little bottle from up close. Of course he recognized it now, he’d seen it before at many of the clubs they frequented during their tours. Poppers. He’d never tried them before, so he had no idea what exactly they were going to do to him. 

He could tell that Jimmy was getting very turned on by now, he had a strange little fetish for drugging him for some reason. Robert didn’t really mind. 

“I think this might just help with that.” Jimmy cooed and took the bag off of the tube Robert was currently breathing through. He opened the little bottle and held the opening to the tube instead so Robert got a full whiff of it right away. 

Jimmy put the bottle away again and allowed Robert a few normal breaths before he put the bag back on, but he kept the valve open just a little. He picked the stethoscope back up and pressed the diaphragm back on Robert’s chest.

The effect of the drug was immediate, he instantly felt incredibly dizzy, like he’d downed a whole bottle of whiskey or something. He also felt very, very warm all of a sudden and strangely disoriented. He felt high and euphoric as well and his heart had started racing even more. He closed his eyes and let the feeling wash over him.

“Fuck... it does work.” He heard Jimmy gasp as he listened to his heart and Robert opened his eyes again. He glanced the the monitor. It read 193. He felt it pounding madly in his chest, like it had never done before.

“Not... quite.” He managed to say, his voice was muffled by the gas mask. Jimmy chuckled.

“True... it’s not quite as fast as you got mine... but it sounds... so fascinating.” He said. The effects didn’t last long at all, a few seconds later it started to subside again, leaving him just a little dizzy and warm. His heart barely calmed down, though, continuing to race like crazy.

Jimmy dropped the stethoscope again and reached up to take off the gas mask for a moment. He kissed Robert heatedly, then gave him a wicked grin and put the mask back on, leaving the valve open just a little, so his oxygen supply was a little restricted, but not completely.

“Oh God... what are you up to?” Robert asked. He was still a little breathless and the way Jimmy was looking at him gave him chills. 

“Well, now that I got you so nice and hard, we can try this.” He said and picked up the case with the long metal sticks. He also picked up a little bottle with a clear gel in it. He opened it and put some on his fingers and started stroking Robert’s cock with his slick hand. The blonde moaned again and arched his back a little, it felt incredibly good. The drug had worn off almost completely already, but it still seemed to enhance sensations a little.

Jimmy grabbed the lubricant again and put a thick glob of it right on the tip of Robert’s cock. He then picked up the smallest, thinnest of the metal sticks.

“Aww... don’t worry... of course I’m not going for the big ones right away... maybe one day. But for now, we’ll take it easy.” He soothed the blonde when he saw his terrified expression. “Here, have another whiff, it’ll help you relax a little...” He said and gave Robert another whiff of the drug that sent his head spinning again. 

The singer hissed sharply when Jimmy started teasing the lubricated slit at the tip of his cock with the steel sound, slowly easing it inside. He was a little surprised that it didn’t hurt, but it felt incredibly intense. 

“Ah.... fuck... Jimmy...” He gasped and grabbed the knots the other man had made in his palms again, needing something to hold on to. For a terrifying moment, it felt like he was going to pee, the sensation was so intense. 

“Good?” The brunette asked, slowing down a little. Robert nodded.

“Yes... yes. Good.” He said quickly and Jimmy continued, easing it in further. The blonde cried out when it rubbed against something inside him that sent white hot sparks of pleasure through him. 

“Hm, found it.” Jimmy grinned and started moving the sound back and forth, in and out slowly, rubbing the rounded tip against that spot repeatedly. “Stop wriggling, you’re going to hurt yourself.” The brunette warned. Robert hadn’t even realized he was doing that, but he stopped immediately.

Jimmy wrapped his hand around his cock and started stroking it in time with the metal sound inside it.

“Fuck, don’t stop... don’t stop, so good...” Robert moaned, but sure enough, Jimmy stopped and the singer whined. “Please?” He whimpered, opening his eyes to look at the other man pleadingly. 

“You beg so prettily...” Jimmy cooed and moved the sound a little more, but kept his hand firmly around his cock, not moving. “I can feel it moving inside you.” He murmured, looking down. He let go of Robert’s cock and ran a finger up along the underside. “I can see it, too, right here.” 

“Please... please, Jimmy?” Robert begged again, his voice still muffled by the mask. “Please let me come.” He was starting to get very dizzy again and the feeling of the metal moving inside him and teasing certain spots was almost too much, but not quite enough and it was driving him crazy. 

“No.” Jimmy said, shaking his head. “Not yet.” He gently slid his hand across Robert’s chest, resting it there for a moment. “Wow... I’ve never felt your heart do that before.” He whispered in awe. It was pounding so hard now, it was almost painful.

“Jimmy... air... please!” Robert gasped. He was starting to panic and to his horror, instead of taking off the bag, Jimmy closed the valve completely. The blonde made a strangled sound and started struggling against his bonds, his vision was starting to blur.

The brunette starting stroking his cock again, moving the sound in and out slowly. He picked up the speed a little with every stroke. Robert was in a full blown state of panic by now, but Jimmy didn’t stop, stroking him faster and faster.

He then turned around and reached into the box with the electronic toys, took out the ‘personal massager’ that was really just a vibrator and plugged it in. 

The blonde cried out in panic now that he couldn’t breathe at all and struggled harder, but to no avail. Jimmy switched the vibrator on and pushed the thick, vibrating head just behind his balls, holding it there for a moment before he removed it again. 

When he held the vibrator against the end of the metal dilator, Jimmy said the three words and Robert came hard, the thick white liquid oozing out around the thin metal stick. His vision went black. 

When he regained consciousness and opened his eyes again, the mask and the metal dilator were gone and he felt Jimmy’s hand on his cheek, the other was feeling the pulse in his neck. 

“Hey... you passed out on me for a second there...” He said worriedly, caressing his face gently. “How do you feel?” He asked and it took Robert a moment to find his voice.

“I... a little... faint, but I’m ok.” He said slowly. He didn’t feel bad at all, on the contrary, he felt lightheaded, but utterly great. Happy and warm. 

“Alright... I think that’s enough for today.” Jimmy said and moved to untie Robert, but the blonde protested.

“You’re not done yet, are you?” He asked. “There’s more you wanna do. I can tell. I’m ok, we can go on.” Jimmy looked up at him, studying him for a moment.

“Robert, you just passed out. Let’s take it easy, we can try the other things another day.” He said and started opening the straps and cuffs.

“I don’t... wanna stop, though. You make me feel so, so good...” He whispered. “You didn’t even get off, either.” 

“This isn’t about me, though.” Jimmy said as he undid the last of the straps and removed the leads of the heart rate monitor. He took Robert’s hands that still had the braided cuff made of rope and lead him to the bed. He pulled him into his arms and rubbed his back gently. “I don’t want to hurt you. Sometimes, you just gotta know when it’s enough.”

“At least... at least let me help you with that...” Robert cooed and started pawing at Jimmy’s crotch. He was still hard. Jimmy chuckled.

“With those cuffs?” He grinned. He made no move to take them off.

“Hmm, you could... still fuck me. You said you wanted to.” Robert said, looking up at him.

“Are you up for that?” Jimmy asked, slowly caressing his chest. The blonde nodded. “Alright. I would love that... but... I want to tie you up some more, since we have some excess rope here...” 

“Yes, please...” Robert said. Despite having gotten off a few times already, he was getting very excited again. 

“On your back.” Jimmy instructed and gently pushed him over. “Hands up.” Robert did as he was told and Jimmy looped the excess rope around a thick wooden bar of the headboard of the bed, securing it with a little knot.

“You haven’t tied me to a bed since Headley Grange.” Robert remembered with a grin. 

“Hm, brings back memories, doesn’t it?” Jimmy grinned back at him. “Now, raise your legs.” He said and helped Robert, first raising his right leg up. He started weaving the rope around Robert’s ankle carefully and secured it, then did the same to his left leg.

The position Robert was left in made him blush brightly, despite everything they’d done already, he felt incredibly exposed. 

“Perfect.” Jimmy cooed, caressing the back of his thighs and his ass. “Now I’ve got you in the perfect position...” He got up and quickly stripped off his remaining clothes, grabbed the lube he’d used earlier and came back to the bed. 

“This stuff is a lot better than the vaseline we used to use, you know? I had to bribe that doctor I know to get me a bottle of this, I don’t understand why they don’t make this for sex, they could make so much money.” He mused absentmindedly as he put some on his finger and quickly prepared Robert. 

“Yeah... they... could.” The blonde gasped as the other’s very slippery fingers entered him with ease. Jimmy didn’t give him a lot of time, he quickly pulled them out again and replaced them with his cock. Robert moaned and pushed back against him as much as the rope would allow him. The position he was in made it feel incredibly good.

“You love being tied up like this, don’t you?” Jimmy purred and leaned in to kiss him heatedly. 

“God, yes...” Robert answered. The other man started thrusting his hips, just a little.

“The only thing we didn’t... ah... get to try... is the electro stimulation...” He said as he started moving. “Gives you something to look forward to next time.” He grinned. It absolutely did, Robert definitely wanted to know what that felt like. He then grinned up at his lover.

“You fucked me in every possible way now, do you realize that? Every hole you could possibly fuck.” He said cheekily and Jimmy gave him a heated look. 

“Yes and you loved it.”

“I did.” He answered with another grin.

“You’re such a little whore, you so love getting fucked by me...” Jimmy moaned, thrusting into him faster now. Robert loved how much he got off on the dirty talk.

“Yes... I’m a slut... for you. Just for you.” He gasped. Jimmy made a low, growling sound and leaned down to attack his neck, kissing and biting it.

“My slut... my whore.” He groaned in between the kisses and bites. He reached between them and started jerking Robert off in time with his thrusts. “Mine. All mine.” He panted.

Robert initially thought he wouldn’t be able to come again, but he was getting there, more so than the physical part of it, it was the way Jimmy was talking to him and how possessive he was. He was thrusting so hard into him now that he was rattling the headboard of the bed and the blonde moaned with every thrust. 

“Come for me.” Jimmy then moaned into his ear just when Robert was about to come and it just seemed to enhance the whole thing, making his climax even stronger. He cried out as he came and Jimmy kept fucking him through it until he, too, came. He took a moment to compose himself and catch his breath before pulling out and immediately starting to untie Robert. 

He tossed aside the rope and gently rubbed Robert’s ankles and calves, then his arms and wrists, to get the blood flowing properly again. 

“You ok?” He asked softly as he massaged Robert’s arms. The blonde nodded.

“More than ok. That was fucking great.” He grinned. “Well worth the week of torture.” 

“Torture?? You loved it!” Jimmy said, mock-offended. 

“Yes. Absolutely.” Robert grinned cheekily and pulled Jimmy close. “I loved it and I love you.” He said and kissed the other man. 

“I love you, too.” Jimmy sighed and rolled on his back, pulling Robert along to snuggle up to him. The blonde did just that, snuggling up to Jimmy tightly and putting both an arm and a leg across the other man’s body. 

“Can we just stay here? Don’t wanna move.” He mumbled sleepily. He was beyond exhausted. Jimmy just nodded and kissed his forehead gently. Robert closed his eyes with a happy little smile on his face.

End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so this is it. If you enjoyed it, please let me know. Let me know what you thought!
> 
> Even if you read this story years from now, I'd love to get that e-mail that I got a comment, you know?? :D


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